


Love is a haven

by atiaahmed



Series: Love is... [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apprentice - Freeform, Gen, Mentor Snape, Mentor/Protégé, No Slash, Pre-Adoption, Severitus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 01:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 67,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2210427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atiaahmed/pseuds/atiaahmed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Second Year Severus and Harry developed an understanding due to a love charm that was placed on Snape. How will their relationship continue after the charm wears of? See how that develops alongside road blocks like Lupin, Black and Pettigrew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Sequel to "Love is a charm", guardianfic, no slash, Severitus-ish

Snape had disguised himself with every state of the art spying spell he could come up with. It was a bit ridiculous to be hiding like this from Muggles, but he didn't want to blow his cover. One of the men standing in front of Number Four Privet Drive was a squib working for Wizard Family Services and knew him quite well. Snape came as close as he dared to them and entered the house, following the pair and Petunia to the living room.

"No, thank you", the Muggle with dirty blond hair declined the offer of drinks "Please join us, Mrs. Dursley."

Petunia sat down, crossing her legs and angling them in the proper way.

"We are here to follow up on a complaint.", the Squib began, Petunia nodded with a severe expression "As you know your nephew has been taken from your care and placed with a different guardian" Petunia pursed her lips but didn't comment "After concluding the investigation we are confronted with another problem."

"Concluded? But I thought it was ongoing?", Petunia asked in a false sweet voice

"We haven't given on our findings yet, we will be doing that as soon as this interview is finished", the Muggle explained and nodded for his colleague to continue

"Yes, well you see, we had to check if your own son's living conditions are sufficient."

Petunia paled and gasped "Dudley has everything he needs, we give him all he could ever wish for!"

Both men scowled "You are accused of severe negligence and abuse, Mrs Dursley and admit to spoiling your son?"

Snape could almost see both social workers put together the picture of the truth behind Number Four. Petunia clasped her lips shut. The squib glanced at the pictures on the mantle, devoid of any black haired child and continued "Dudley's needs are very different from Harry's. What your son needs are boundaries and a good set of rules and responsibilities. We don't think that his needs are fulfilled in this home."

Petunia opened her mouth slightly in shock

"Don't worry Mrs Dursley, you will be able to visit Dudley and stay in contact if he so wishes.", the Muggle tried to sooth her

"Out." she whispered "Get out before I throw you out!"

Her guests looked at her dumbfounded and only sprang up when she started screaming "You will steal my baby? How dare you say that? Get out of my sight! I will tell Vernon everything and have you sued for your last button - liars, thiefs, freaks!"

Snape grinned in satisfaction, he enjoyed how ruffled Petunia looked, her neat bun coming off, graying hair loosening and her cheeks flushed in anger. The way her eyes were full of indignation and fear. When the men had left she sat back down, her eyes distant and mouth slightly open. She covered it automatically with her hand. It took her a moment and then he she looked up to the pictures on the mantle. She whispered in a scared and shaking voice "Oh, my baby"

Snape had enough of her drama and started his own. Still disguised and invisible to her he came up close and then whispered in her ear "You will loose him."

Petunia jumped and then turned around, her hand flying to her chest, presumably to sooth her racing heart. Snape whispered into her other ear "You never deserved him in the first place."

Petunia shrieked at that and jumped up. Snape kept up his whispers, every time coming from a different place in the room - "You tainted him", "You can never be enough". Sometimes close to her, sometimes farther away until she screamed

"Stop! You freak! Stop it! Who are you?"

"The voice of your heart, Petunia", he whispered again "You know its the truth. Dudley was just too good for you."

"Its all that little freaks fault", Petunia cried, tears staining her cheeks, her arms shaking badly "If it wasn't for him..."

Snape wanted to strangle her, but he kept to his plan "No, Petunia. You did this. You ruined your little baby. He will be happy with other people, people who can give him what he needs - normalcy."

Petunia shook her head frantically

"Tell me, hasn't he been unhappy, demanding more and more things to fill up the hole you left? You cannot make him happy, whatever you do, whatever you buy him. You never could and you never will be able to."

Petunia paled, swaying on the spot and Snape went for the last stab, standing right behind her

"Its because you're a freak too, Tuney. You have the same blood."

At that Petunia fainted. Snape looked mildly surprised, he hadn't expected such a reaction but he was darkly pleased by it. He caught her and dragged her over to the couch, laying her on it so she might believe it was all a dream.

He had slytherined Harry out of his living arrangements with the Dursleys without much drama. Harry didn't need the public attention, so they did everything to keep the change quiet. Dumbledore as the person who was guardian in name now, was the one dealing with the Dursleys directly and Snape had only had the satisfaction of nudging his contact to investigate Dudley's situation. As expected the combination of one child being spoiled and the other neglected did the trick and Dudley was taken from his parents.

But that alone was not satisfying for Snape. He was an Ex-Death Eater, he needed a darker kind of revenge. But he knew, as soon as he used magic on these vile creatures there'd be half the ministry standing in the living room. He wouldn't mind that if it wasn't for Azkaban and having to leave Harry over it. And they would obliviate the couple, vanishing all his hard efforts. No, this kind of revenge, sewing the right thoughts into Petunias mind, this was slytherin enough to satisfy him. 'For a while', he decided with an evil grin as he left the house. He'd be visiting Vernon at a later time too. If he had judged them correctly they wouldn't be talking to each other about these very abnormal conversations with their "conscience".

Harry woke up with a wide smile on his face. It was the first time that he would look forward to his birthday. He got up and contemplated how he could be this happy. Snape had taken Harry in after Ron and Hermione had forced him to love Harry through a complicated spell. The spell had worn off but the affection had remained. As such Snape could not let Harry remain with his abusive relatives and had taken him to his own home. Harry had secretly wished to see Snapes encounter with them when he finalized the guardianship but Snape had made him stay with the Weasleys for the day. But judging from his smug, self satisfied expression when he returned, the Dursleys had gotten what they had been deserving for a long time now. Harry didn't revel too long in his dark thoughts of revenge as life had taken such a good turn for him.

Life with Snape at Spinners End was very different to what Privet Drive had offered him. He was well taken care of, Snape gave him shelter, food and didn't expect more from him than to give him a hand here and there and keep his room and belongings tidied up. Harry had finished his assignments at the beginning of the summer break while he had been waiting for the charm to wear off. Now was free to do whatever he wished. Most days Snape spent brewing with him and working on his research. Even if Harry usually didn't bring in ground breaking developments, he asked questions that made Snape rethink his process. That alone had helped him out immensely, even if he didn't tell Harry that.

Spinners End had been secured by both Snape and Dumbledore to extremes that were only rivalled by the Fidelius Charm. Harry had had to add his blood, saliva and sweat to the property to include him and even then the adults had been tense until a blue light shortly lit up all rooms. They had smiled at each other triumphantly at that and Harry had curiously recognized a blush creeping up Snapes face and the knowing look Dumbledore sent him. Harry had shrugged and asked when they would eat, breaking the obviously embarrassing moment. Since then Snape and Harry had lived in silent harmony at Spinners End.

Today Harry would go to the Weasleys to have his first real birthday party. He had asked Snape to join but he had refused, not being a people person. At Harrys dejected look, Snape had told him they'd have a little private party when he got home.

"Harry!", he heard him calling now "What are you doing up there?"

"Coming, Severus."

He grinned, he had taken his time with washing up as he had been contemplating the changes in his life. Grinning made toothpaste run down his face so he spit it out and moved to get down to breakfast. Harry had started calling his professor by his first name, because now he was officially more than a teacher to him. Even if the paperwork stated Dumbledore as his guardian, in reality it would be Snape who took care of him. Snape had readily agreed to the first name terms, which had surprised Harry a bit. Now Harry took every chance to use his professors first name.

"Finally!", Snape grumbled when he entered, but Harry wasn't bothered by it as he saw waffles steaming on the table

"My favourite!", Harry exclaimed and plopped down enthusiastically. Too engrossed in topping his waffles he didn't see Snapes soft smile at that.

"Now, don't overdo it young man.", he admonished and put a hand on Harrys as he reached for a sugary spread "Top it with fruit, Molly will fill you up with enough sugar to deal with as it is."

Harry grinned up at him and took the strawberries. Snape sat down with a cup of coffee and watched Harry stuff himself. Snape shook his head at himself, he was being indulgent with the boy to the point of spoiling him. But at least today he couldn't help himself. When he had encountered the Dursleys he had used the opportunity to gather their memories of Harrys treatment. Every day in the evening after saying good night to him, he had watched a few of them. Yesterday he had picked the ones of his previous birthdays and felt so saddened by them that he would probably have a hard time not to go shopping for additional presents.

"I'll pick you up at seven, is that alright?" Harry nodded at the question "I trust you will be able to floo yourself?"

Harry looked up from his glass of milk with a white moustache and offered "Yes, I could floo back too."

"I know.", Snape said, trying hard not to grin at the ridiculous moustache "But I want to take you somewhere for dinner."

Harry grinned "Really? Thanks Severus!"

Snapes eyes softened the way they always did these days when Harry looked at him with such enthusiasm. He kept watching Harry eat and handed him the floo powder as a way of saying good-bye later in the living room. Harry took it, seeming uncertain

"Do you want me to accompany you?", Snape offered, seeing him stopping short of taking the powder, Harry resolutely shook his head, smiled shyly at him and entered the fireplace shouting with a firm voice "The Burrow!"

Snape stared at the dying green flames with a frown and then turned to prepare Harrys birthday surprises.

"Happy birthday!", the Weasleys shouted the moment Harry stepped out, Harrys face lit up with happiness, he was immediately hugged and congratulated and then the Twins took him out on their pitch to play while Mrs Weasley started preparing lunch. Hermione joined them a little later and together they played and laughed and talked. Ginny was an unusually good player and Hermione was quite content to let her play and referee instead. After playing a few games and Percy getting knocked off the broom the one time he joined, the three friends went up to Rons room.

"Hey Harry, I think mum made those little custard tarts for you. I'll sneak some up.", Ron said and went back into the kitchen. Hermione sat on one of the beds in the Chudley Cannon orange room while Harry choose the desk chair. Hermione looked around the room, especially interested in anything magical, while Harry looked at the scattered parchments on Rons desk. There was a half finished charms essay ending in the middle of a sentence and the essay for McGonagall where Ron had only managed to scribble the title on. Harry grinned at that and idly looked around the desk when he spotted a different hand writing. His eyebrows rose up to his hairline when he realized whose spidery handwriting it was. Without thinking he snatched up the parchment and began to read.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,

I write to you today not in the capacity of your childrens potions master but in regards to my own charge. As Professor Dumbledore informed you and all other former members of the Order he has taken custody of Harry Potter. But this guardianship will be effective only in name and I will be the one in charge of the boy. You will perhaps be astonished by this development and as your son has had a vital role in bringing it about, I will enlighten you to how it came about.

At the beginning of the previous school year Ronald Weasley performed an illegal spell, aided by one Miss Hermione Granger. You may be familiar with the Paternus Charm. In the case that you do not know what it does, I'll give you a brief overview. It is performed by someone who wishes to give their child a paternal figure, normally it is performed by the mother. The spell then binds one male figure in the house to the child. This man will develop paternal feelings for the child that will last up to 9 months. At this point he may have developed natural feelings or he may not, the charm will loose its effect.

You can imagine why this charm was banned long ago, as it forces a man into submission. For 9 months there is no escape, no cure to what he feels. At the end of that time those feelings will evaporate, probably leaving nothing in their wake – a situation that can be quite damaging for the child. You will, I am certain, see that even though your sons intentions were good he could have hurt Harry deeply. Harry has already lost his parents, Ronald could have forced him to loose another person he began to regard in this light too. The psychological impact of a potential abandonment could have been catastrophic, it is quite possible that Harry would have even become suicidal as he began to regard me as his only way out of the abusive household of his relatives.

Yes, I was the one who was targeted by the spell and began to bond with the child. To Harrys enormous luck I decided to take up the responsibility and not abandon him.

You will see that Rons actions, however well intended, cannot go unpunished. I have refrained of punishing him through the official means, which would have resulted in his expulsion as he was already on warning due to his and Harrys flight into the school at the beginning of the year. I expect you to take action in a way that will teach him to think before he acts. I myself have devised a list of punishments I deem acceptable in this case and would be delighted to help you arrange them as soon as you have chosen.

Prof. Severus Snape"

Attached was a list of different social works, mostly in orphanages. Harry stared at the letter, stunned.

"Harry!", he heard Ron scream and turned around in the chair. Hermione jumped as well and turned from looking at one of Rons books. Harry looked from the letter to Ron.

"He wrote to you parents?", he asked numbly "What did they make you do?"

Ron turned scarlet "They screamed at me for an hour then decided that working for the next orphanage and no flying all summer would be enough. Today I was allowed to join you guys because I had been on good behavior all week. I have already painted their fence, dusted out their carpets and helped out in the kitchen – everything muggle style, because its a muggle orphanage."

"And you?", Harry asked, Hermione had pink cheeks as well

"Got the same letter, my parents were so disappointed. I had to clean in their dental surgery all summer."

Harry put the letter back on the desk and stared at it, avoiding his friends' eyes. He tried hard not to grin. Snape had punished them and he had done it in a fair way, because they were Harrys friends and he didn't want Harry to loose them. He took out the list of punishments and skimmed it, they all had some educational value to teach them both what they had done. Ron with his large family and Hermione as an only child could not imagine what it felt like to be an unwanted orphan. Harry felt a warm gratitude towards Severus and smiled softly. He turned around to his friends and then said happily "Who wants to play Exploding Snap?"

Lunch was a noisy affair and Harry enjoyed it very much, it was so different from the quiet meals with his guardian. The grin on his face seemed to be plastered on and he felt right at home with his friends. He cut the big cake in Snitch form and blushed a bit when everyone sang Happy Birthday to him again. With he pang he realized that he missed Severus, he would've been happy just to see him sitting amongst the others, arms crossed and a frown on his face. Just like always. But Harry shrugged the feeling away as he was too happy to finally have a birthday party with a bunch of people who liked him.

He felt full and content when five minutes before seven the flames turned green and then spit out Professor Snape. Hermione and Ron, who were slumped on the sofa beside him until then, straightened up immediately. Harry grinned at Snape at that and the teacher only raised an eyebrow. All three of them had been snacking on the rest of the cake after playing cards and chess.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger. I trust you had an enjoyable day with my charge?"

"Yes sir.", they chorused, more well behaved than ever before

"I'll just greet the Weasleys, we can leave after.", he informed Harry and went into the kitchen

"He's been okay then?", Ron asked uncertainly

"He's been brilliant.", Harry answered, also sitting up straight, Hermione smiled

"I'm so glad it worked out. And Harry... Really, I'm so sorry..."

Harry held up a hand "All forgiven, Hermione."

She beamed at him and even Ron looked relived. Harry realized that he hadn't said it out loud like this before, even if he had already forgiven them a long time ago for intervening.

"Lets go then, Harry.", Snape said entering and then gave him a hand to help him stand up. Snape regarded him a while, then said "We'll apparate, follow me."

They left the Burrow after Harrys warm good-byes to his friends and Rons family. He waved again and Snape lead him out of sight. He then turned to him and opened his arms. Harry, glad for an excuse to hug the man on his birthday, stepped forward and felt Severus arms come around him in a soft embrace. It took a moment but then he felt the familiar apparating sensation

"Ugh... not good...", Harry said when they arrived and held his guardian tightly, struggling against his nausea. He felt the man rub his shoulder with his thumb.

"Better?", Snape asked after a while and released him, Harry nodded, feeling embarrassed by this reaction

Snape led him to a little comfortable restaurant where they had dinner together. Harry at first thought the highlight was when he got to sip wine for the first time, but it came in the form of a heavy Gentlemans cake, topped with dark chocolate ganache.

"Wow!", Harry said with round green eyes

"One of my favorites", Snape said cutting into it and biting into the first piece. He actually hummed in appreciation, Harry grinned at that and took his own bite. It was a small piece of cake but it was so heavy that Harry felt filled up to the brim when he finished.

"It was really good, thanks a lot, Severus.", Harry said when they left the restaurant, Snape nodded at him and then drew out a vial

"Take this, it will help settle your stomach for the apparation."

Harry took it, nodding in appreciation of the forethought. When they entered Spinners End Harry felt drowsy and content. His eyes were already drooping shut but Snape firmly steered him into the living room.

"Your birthday still goes on for a few hours, so here.", he said shoving a wrapped present at him, Harry smiled weekly and ripped the paper off. A brown package came into view and when Harry opened it, he saw a set of potion related items, he looked up questioningly

"A golden cauldron for advanced potions, rare ingredients and a notebook.", Snape counted without looking in "Who do you think would need something like that?"

"A Potions Master?", Harry guessed

"Correct, or one in the making.", Snape said and then smiled as Harry realized what that meant

"You're taking me on as an apprentice?"

"Correct, Mr. Potter."

Harry actually squealed in delight, jumping up and down, his drowsiness forgotten "Thank you! Thanks so much... it..."

"Means a lot?", Snape teased him with his half hearted words from a year ago, his eyes softening again. He could count on his fingers how often he had shown affection for the child outside of the influence of the charm. But he felt embarrassed and unsure about showing affection. He should probably hug Harry but he couldn't bring himself to. Harry smiled up at him, his cheeks slightly reddened and eyes glimmering in excitement. Snape sighed in mock suffering "Someone will need hot chocolate to settle down again."

Harry laughed a little, his eyes drooping shut again. This was how he could show affection, through consideration, Snape contemplated. Harry dropped back on the sofa and leaned into it. Already falling asleep, he murmured "You make the best hot chocolate in the world, dad."

Snape had been going into the kitchen but stopped short at those words, his heart jumped at the last "What did you say?"

Harry blinked up at him tiredly "You make the best hot chocolate."

Snape was on the verge of saying something about the title but decided it was a sleepy slip up and nothing else "Stay awake, I'll bring you some."

Harry wondered about how affectionate Snape became after the hot chocolate, ruffling his hair and even tucking him in. He had blushed at the last part but enjoyed it anyway. He had never had anyone do that before. He shrugged mentally and thought it must be about his birthday, the man probably felt bad about leaving him with the Weasleys for half the day or something. He fell asleep to happy dreams.

Snape in the bedroom down the hall settled into bed wide awake. Dad. He had felt like lightening had struck at that word. He shouldn't feel like that, he thought, the child had slipped up in that moment. Severus was the first person to be a real father figure to him and had given him affection and care freely for the first time. It was natural for Harry to be a bit confused and his tiredness, the apparation and being filled up to the point of explosion did the rest. As he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep he tried to convince himself: It was a slip up, something the child would never voluntarily say to him. Uncle, he might someday settle for the title of uncle and should be very glad for it. He opened his eyes again. He might have been able to convince himself it would be enough for him before today. But since he had heard that word from Harrys lips he could not let go of the wish to hear it again – to never be called anything else by the child. Well maybe he could sometimes settel for "Papa", which also had been missing out of Harrys vocabulary since he came to Spinners End. Secretely Snape had hoped to hear it again, but he would never demand it and so he had agreed to the first name terms. He shook his head, he was being ridiculous and sentimental.

Sometimes he thought the effect of the charm hadn't worn off. But that was impossible as Madam Pomfrey and Flittwick had assured him that he was rid of it. He had felt it lift himself! Snape crossed his arms, still laying in his bed. Uncle. That had to be enough. At that moment an unwelcome thought entered his mind. He would have to share that title with Lupin.

Dumbledore and Minerva had talked him into letting Lupin visit and being a part of Harrys life – before they officially met as student and professor at Hogwarts. He didn't like the thought. He had imagined it was because the man was dangerous and had a weak character. He would be a bad influence on the boy. But his analytical mind provided him with the true reason: Snape was possessive and jealous, he didn't want to share the child and dreaded being liked less than the wolf, maybe even replaced. He sighed. He had lost Lily to his self-consciousness, he wouldn't allow the same to happen with Harry. He would allow the wolf access to Harry – under strict supervision.

The man that emerged from the green flames of the floo, looked tired and worn out. Harry didn't think less of him for his tattered clothes, his own were brand new and before that he had only worn Dudleys cast offs. He knew how poverty felt like and smiled an encouraging smile. Mr. Lupin beamed back at him with such warmth that Harry immediately forgot about his poor looks.

"Harry! So glad to see you again, well and happy on top of all.", Lupin said with feeling and knelt down in front of him, putting his hands on top of his shoulders. Harry shrugged to break the contact but Lupin remained "Last time I saw you, you sat in my lap grinning a toothless smile."

Harry gave him a shy smile at that "Well I have two whole rows now."

Lupin laughed a quiet, soft laugh at Harrys little joke and stood up again. He reached for Snape and shook his hand, ignoring the distaste in the other man's expression. "I am deeply gratefull to you, Severus, for allowing me to see Harry. I was always brushed off by Dumbledore until now, he didn't elaborate on Harrys living situation and at one point I stopped asking."

Snape narrowed his eyes but nodded curtly "You may have the living room to your disposal during your visit."

Snape turned to Harry and his expression lost all coldness "If you need anything, call for me. The door to my study will be open."

With that pronouncement he headed up the stairs. Harry felt like Snape had wanted to assure him he wasn't leaving Harry alone with a wild animal. He turned to Lupin and offered him a place to sit and something to drink, Lupin declined, smiling at Harrys good manners. Harry dreaded being asked how he came to live with Snape, so he started his own line of conversation.

"Look, Severus gave me Ophion at Christmas.", he rolled up his sleeve to show his sleepy pet snake "And last year he helped me defeat Slytherins monster."

Of course Lupin wanted to hear everything about that adventure and they spent a good time discussing it in every detail. But Lupin had come this day with a very specific goal in mind. So as soon as he thought advisable he turned the conversation to the questions that burned in his heart

"Harry, Severus presented you with Ophion at Christmas. But as I understand he was still only your professor at that time. Why would he do that?"

"Oh, that was because he was tutoring me then and I think he wanted me to understand that parseltongue wasn't a bad thing. Other people were... you know they didn't understand about it and I felt left out and... you know..."

Lupin nodded with a sad bitter smile "I do know."

Harry looked up at the empathic exclamation but didn't ask about it "He was being real good about it."

Lupin smiled "I'm glad you had someone with sense to talk to, I really am. Harry when you were little, your parents wished me to be your godfather but because of legalities they were prevented to do so."

Harry nodded and said "Severus told me that werewolfs are discriminated against in wizarding society when we brewed Wolfsbane the first time."

Lupin stopped short and didn't ask the question of how Harry knew that he was a werewolf, it was obvious Severus had told him "Yes, that was the reason. But I still feel responsible for you, can you understand that?"

Harry nodded

"So I am curious as to why you are now living with Severus instead of your aunt and uncle."

Harry went quiet and then repeated the rehearsed answer he had made up for his dorm mates for the coming year. Not that he would tell them who his new guardian was "My relatives were unfit to take care of me, so I was brought to someone who could."

"Unfit?", Lupin asked quietly, taking Harrys hand. Harry stood up, breaking the contact and said

"You should ask Severus about that, I'll get him."

He practically fled up the stairs. He didn't know why he was being a baby about the topic, he just knew he didn't want to talk about it with Lupin. He barely knew the man, why should he tell him something this personal? He knocked on the slightly open door to Snapes study. Snape jumped up in a way that made Harry certain he had been trying to listen in to their conversation.

"Do you want me to..." 'throw the wolf out' "...tell Lupin to come another day?"

Harry smiled "That would be nice, but I think he wants to talk to you."

Snape nodded and walked into the hallway "You can wait in your room, I'm sure he'd like to say good-bye to you later."

Harry smiled, but the expression seemed wrong so Snape put his hand between Harrys shoulders for a bit, leading him to his room. He let go when they reached it and descended the stairs, leaving Harry to stare after him.

"Lupin, you wished to talk to me?", Snape said and Lupin turned around from looking out the dingy window.

"Yes, you could say so.", Lupin said, clearly in a bad mood "I asked Harry why he lived with you now and he ran to get you."

Snape nodded "I believe he is uncomfortable with sharing the information with a stranger."

Lupin grimaced at the last word "I still want to know."

Snape sat down, crossing his arms and nodding for Lupin to take a seat.

"He lived with his aunt and uncle.", Lupin initiated when Snape gave no sign of starting.

"Oh yes, his lovely relatives. Did you know Petunia?"

"No, I never met her. She didn't come to the wedding under some pretense, it broke Lilys heart. But I think they stayed in contact through letters."

"I knew her.", Snape said "She was a vindictive, jealous little..."

Snape stopped himself at that and took a deep breath before ending "She and her husband were unfit to care for Harry."

Lupin bristled at those words "Excuse me, Severus, but a married couple with a child were unfit to care for him and you are the better alternative? They are his blood and you are a... bachelor."

Snape raised an eyebrow at that "I've been called worse... But really Lupin, use your head. If there was no reason how could they have taken him out of their custody?"

"That's it exactly!", Lupin said, throwing his arms up in annoyance "You're not giving me a reason."

"And why should I do that?", Snape asked, his tone becoming gradually dark

"Because I was their friend. Harry was their son. I was supposed to be his godfather, if life had been fair" Snape snorted at that "I played with him when he was a toddler, I changed his nappies and celebrated his first birthday with him. I should have him!"

"Yet for some reason the moment your precious friend died you didn't care about him enough to see how he's doing."

"I had a severe depression! I lost everybody and everything in that war!", Lupin jumped up almost spitting in his anger "The moment I came out of it I went to Dumbledore and asked him about Harry. He assured me he was alright. I asked several times, I sent him a gift every birthday..."

Snape vowed to ask Dumbledore about these gifts but stood up as well and faced Lupin.

"Oh really? How very touching, wolf. But you didn't care enough to take one look at him, did you?"

"Oh, so that's it!", Lupin spat "You don't want to tell me because I'm a werewolf, because of what happened back then. You are so petty, Severus..."

Snape couldn't take this, not in his own home "You want to know, wolf? He was kept in a cupboard, presumably because they had no cellar to lock him in. He was fed his relatives leftovers and worked like a house elf. They hated him and left no chance unused they could to verbally abuse him. Is that enough?"

Lupin had paled and sat back down "What?"

Snape looked at Lupin with distaste but also with sympathy. He knew how this felt and Lupin had no way to sooth his heart through comforting Harry. But Snape shook away his sympathy, Lupin did not deserve it even though Snape knew exactly how heavy his heart must be right now.

It took a moment but then Lupin looked up "And you took him? Just like that?"

"No, not just like that.", Snape sat back down and then stared at Lupin for a while. He'd learn about it eventually so Snape would tell him on his own terms. He launched into the story of how he began to care about Harry and ended with how he had managed to strip the Dursleys of Harry's and Dudley's guardianship.

"And that's it? You didn't do anything else to them?", Lupin asked "That cannot be it."

"I may have started my own vendetta against them", Snape said, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers, Lupin gave a dry laugh

"Can I help?"

"Certainly.", Snape allowed "You can take care of Harry while I'm on my little mission and you can keep your mouth shut about it."

Lupin nodded and then sighed deeply "I wish..."

"Stop right there Lupin.", Snape interrupted harshly "Its of no use. Do your best now, that's all you can do."

Lupin nodded and then said "Can I say good-bey to him?"

Snape nodded and went to retrieve Harry. When the boy entered the room Lupin came up to him and said "I'm going, but I'll be back soon to visit. We can share more stories then."

Harry smiled at that and nodded eagerly

"Can I hug you?", Lupin asked quietly, instinctively Harry crossed his arms over his chest and then looked at Severus, uncertain of how to respond.

"Whatever you decide, I believe your godfather will not mind.", Snape reassured him, startled by Harry. He hadn't expected him to ask for permission like this. Harry smiled at that and even Lupin joined.

"Er... if you don't mind, I'd rather not.", Harry said shyly

"That's alright.", Lupin said, his smile faltering "We'll have enough time to get to know each other."

With that he nodded at both of them and vanished through the flames.

"Was that alright?", Harry asked uncertianly "I shouldn't have pushed him away like that..."

"Its ok, Harry.", Snape said, steering Harry into the kitchen to help prepare dinner "He understands"

Lupin did understand, but it was mainly the jealousy in his heart that was appeased by Harrys rejection of the wolf.

"Anything else we can do for you, Minister?", one of the guards asked Cornelius Fudge, who flinched yet again and then said

"Oh... yes well, only one remaining... I'd like to see Sirius Black."

The guard nodded and led the minister down an eerily empty hallway. Not that there was any hallway in Azkaban that wasn't deserted and eery. Fudge was only happy there was no one admitted into the prison in the recent past or he would have to listen to the screams too.

"Here, minister.", the guard said and opened a cell. Sirius Black was sitting on his bed, legs crossed, looking out the tiny barred window. He turned to Fudge when he entered.

"Good evening, minister."

"Mr. Black.", Fudge said nervously "How do you feel?"

Black tipped his head sideways, revealing for a second the lost handsome face he once had "Bored, actually."

Fudge blinked, surprised by this admission and gave a shaky laugh "Oh? Well, I wish I could help."

Black raised his eyebrows "You could." he pointed at Fudges backpocket "The newspaper would be a welcome distraction."

"Certainly.", Fudge said, handing it over "But I dare say it doesn't report the most interesting events."

"Oh?". Black asked, putting the paper beside him and looking interested

"Yes, yes.", Fudge said, nodding "We were able to keep a most interesting development quiet from those hawks."

"Dear Minister, I don't believe the prophet can print anything without your permission.", Black flattered, giving a soft knowing smile

"Oh, well, of course.", Fudge said, grinning "But if they had gotten wind of this, no body could have stopped them. Tragic of course, but those pen slaves never care about emotions, do they?"

"Certainly not in my time.", Sirius said "You can tell me, minister. I assure you I don't get many visits by the press"

Fudge laughed more freely "No, no I don't believe so. Well, its about Harry Potter. He was abused and neglected by his mothers sister and her family. Nasty business. He was emancipated by Dumbledore then taken under the headmasters guardianship. Why he didn't take the child in the first place is anyones guess..."

Blacks gray eyes flashed but he reared them under control "How very... interesting."

"Yes, but I don't understand how he does it. He's in the ministry half the time, Mugwump and all that... I suppose his teachers help out. But I wouldn't let my child near some of those..."

"Really minister? You disagree with Dumbledores appointments?"

"Disagree? Ha! Every year has a new defense teacher, there's no proper guidance, they don't adhere to ministry standards, disastrous, I tell you! And then there's teachers like Binns, Trelawney and Snape!"

Blacks head shot up "Snape? Severus Snape?"

"Yes, that man!", Fudge said energetically, having talked himself into a temper "Horribly impolite how he refused the Ministry savety standards for potions, accused of being a death eater... And earlier this week a witch at the ministry receives an application for apprenticeship from him. And would you guess for whom this application was filled out – none other than Harry Potter himself! As if the child hasn't suffered enough. I really don't understand the headmaster!"

Black clenched his fists and shut his jaw but composed himself soon after "What an interesting development minister, I must thank you a lot, you gave me food for thought."

The minister smiled "Well I'll be going now, good-bey."

The minister had already stepped out of the cell when he heard a reply that sent shivers down his spine

"See you soon, minister."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> Sorry for the little delay but i hope you like the first chapter. I've finished chapter 2 already and am working on chapter three. I have a general idea where the story will go but no strict plan the way I had with 'love is a charm'.
> 
> I have set out almost all the pieces I want to explore in this story in this first chapter. Main concern will of course be Harry's and Severus' relationship development. Lupin will be added for some spice in there ;) Sirius and Peter will be the "antagonists" for the plot line mainly, I still don't know how to end with Sirius, guess I'll surprise myself as much as you guys ;) Also I want to feature Ron, the Weasleys, Hermione and Harrys pets more than I did in the previous story. And of course more Tobias as well ;)
> 
> So, how did you like the introductory chapter? Please give me your much appreciated feedback.
> 
> Tata
> 
> Atia


	2. Chapter 2

"Harry? Have you packed everything?", Severus asked, coming up the stairs. After receiving visits from Lupin almost every day, Harry had felt comfortable enough to agree and spend a weekend with his godfather. Lupin had told him he lived near a lake and would to teach him swimming and fishing if he wanted to. Harry had giving Severus such a blast of the puppy dog eyes that he just couldn't refuse. And he remembered from the memories of Vernon, the jealous look Harry had given Dudley on these occasions when Durlsey came home with him after such a father-son trip. It did irk Snape that it wasn't himself who would be teaching Harry, but he didn't mind too much as he wasn't proficient in both practices. And Lupin had given him such a gratefull smile that Severus believed him to be in his dept.

"Huh? Oh yeah" Harry answered hastily, shoving socks into his duffel bag. Snape frowned.

"Maybe I should have asked 'have you left anything?'", he said, glancing at the almost empty drawers in Harry's room, he saw the boy blush "I know I said 'pack for the school year', but Harry, you can leave things here."

He went and opened Harry's cupboard only to find Dudleys old cast offs there. Snape had offered to burn them when Harry had received his new clothes, but the boy had only silently shook his head. He turned to face Harry who was staring at the floor.

"Open your trunk for me, Harry.", Severus asked quietly

Harry complied and the trunk virtually jumped open, it was so filled up. Inside were all of Harry's new purchases: clothes, toys, even his clock, owl treats, Ophion's box, basically everything he valued. Snape sat down on the bed, unable to say anything.

"Sorry", Harry mumbled, his shoulders drooping "I'm just used to packing everything. I was afraid they'd..."

'burn it', Snape completed in his mind and closed his eyes to hide his rage from the child.

"I know you did it unconsciously, I don't take offense.", he offered and Harry looked up hopefully "I know it must be hard to understand, but this is your home, you are coming back here."

Snape gestured towards Dudley's elephant skin and said "and I'm not taking away your new things, you can dispose of that."

Harry looked uncomfortable with the idea. Even though he never wore them and had always hated them, he felt a certain security connected with those clothes. Besides his broom and Hedwig they were the only things that belonged to him and were not given by Snape. On the other hand, if Snape decided in a fit of insanity to destroy Harry's belongings while he was gone, he wouldn't mind loosing these. He felt ashamed of not being able to trust in Snape more after all he had done for him, but he couldn't change the way he felt.

Snape decided this was enough soul searching for one day and waved his wand. Some of the things flew out of the trunk and reclaimed their place in the room. Others arranged themselves neatly in the trunk. When he was satisfied with the results, Snape waved his wand at the duffel bag, which also lightened its load, including a silvery cloak.

"Harry...", Snape scolded while the cloak folded itself and flew into a shelf "What did I say about the cloak?"

"I know!", Harry answered, pouting "But I wanted to show Uncle Remus."

Severus felt a pang at hearing the loving title bestowed on the wolf, but ignored it "I dare say he's familiar with it."

Harry gave a sheepish grin but refrained from arguing.

"Come here, I wanted to give you something", Snape said and Harry came to stand in front of his knees, Severus took out a thin silver chain out of his pocket and showed it to Harry "This is a safety pendant, it alerts me if you're in danger. I'm going to be honest with you, it is normally only used for toddlers" Harry frowned at the green pendant hanging from the silver chain "but as you are prone to... stumble into danger, I'd like you to wear it at all times."

Snape conveniently forgot to mention that it would also give Harry a sense of security and a memento from his guardian, especially while he was having heaps of fun at _Uncle_ Remus' place.

Harry nodded and took it, but didn't look too happy about it "Better keep it hidden from the other boys, though."

Snape grinned at that

"Ugh? Anyone home?" Lupin's voice drifted up towards them

"He's coming down in a moment.", Snape shouted and then turned back to Harry "Listen to Lupin while he's taking care of you, I don't want to hear any complaints. If you need anything, owl or floo me. Lupin will help you with that..."

"I know!", Harry interrupted, grinning "you sound so... Mrs. Weasley-ish!"

Snape cuffed the laughing boy lightly "Cheeky"

Harry threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and went to the door but stopped there. He then turned around, a determined expression on his face. Snape didn't know how to react when Harry simply wrapped his arms around his neck and naturally said "Goodbye, Papa"

It was only a moment, the next Harry had turned away again and was loudly jumping down the stairs. Snape sat stunned at Harry's daring, hugging him goodbye as if they had always done that. Calling him Papa as if he had never stopped saying it. He heard Lupin and the child floo away and one thought kept repeating itself in his mind 'I didn't even hug him back'. He still grinned smugly into the empty room when another thought hit him: Take that, _Uncle_ Remus.

* * *

 

It had only been a few days that the evil little monster had left and Spinners End already felt dreary and sad again. Snape scowled into his morning tea, the boy and his godfather had happily announced that after the weekend they would like to spend more time together before he and Severus would leave for Hogwarts. Seeing Harry grin happily and his eyes twinkle to match Dumbledore's prevented him from ordering him back immediately. He allowed the child to stay with the wolf a little while longer...

He had plans today, he should concentrate on that. He had a full agenda planned for the Dursley's and that thought made his face break into an evil grin.

Just after Harry had left with Lupin, Snape had checked through Harry's things to see if he had missed packing something he needed. While he was tutting over a bag of dungbombs, one of them fell from his hand and rolled under the bed. A simple charm made it roll out again, but it wasn't alone. Along with it came a little box that Snape remembered he had bought for Harry. It was about the only thing Harry had asked for himself, when they went shopping and even though he was curious about it, he didn't pester the child, afraid he wouldn't ask for anything else. He picked it up and realized there was something in it. Had Harry put something inside and hidden the box under his bed? Snape frowned and shook his head. He really shouldn't look inside, it wasn't right. This was like looking into a diary. He placed the box back under the bed and kept arranging Harry's things.

The whole day he tried to distract himself from it and up until this very morning, several days later, he had been successful. But today he had broken and opened the little red box to be brought back to reality with a snap. Inside were a couple of old cookies, a muffin and a slice of stale nut bread. Snape stared at the items. Harry was hoarding food. He closed the box again and put it back under the bed, but kept kneeling on the floor instead of standing up.

Harry was still so insecure that he stacked food up in case Snape started to lock him up and starve him as well. He packed all his things in case Snape suddenly realized all of this was a bad plan and he'd rather abandon the boy. One of his hands reached up to cover his mouth. But dealing with the dread of the task of teaching Harry the meaning of family or accepting the fact of just how much this child had been damaged by his relatives – all of this was too much, so he settled for what he could do best: Rage, anger, hatred and the sweetest of them all: revenge.

That was what he was preparing himself to do today, so his mood was finally starting to lift when he opened the paper and stared at a picture of Sirius Orion Black. Snape blinked and tried to let the message sink in that anyone – let alone that idiot – could flee from Azkaban. Snape let the paper fall down on the table and practically sprung up.

"Fishers lodge", he screamed, throwing in the green powder and vanishing in flames. The effect of his arrival was destroyed by the fact that he lacked his dramatic robes and was standing in the middle of an empty living room in nothing but his pajamas "Harry?"

He heard chairs scraping from an adjoining room and soon both residents stuck their head into the living room. Lupin looked worried instantly

"What happened Severus?"

"Take your things, Harry, we're leaving."

"But what...?"

"Now!", Snape snapped and Harry flinched before running out of the room obediently

"What's going on?", Lupin asked again

"Haven't you read the papers, Lupin? Black escaped!"

Lupin paled at those words and looked speechless

"The wards around my home are stronger.", Snape explained and added in his mind 'And I don't trust you'

Harry was back in the room, his duffel bag over his shoulder, Snape beckoned him closer

"I'll be closing the floo connection to Spinners End, so say goodbye to your godfather. You'll see him again in school."

Harry dropped the bag and looked between both adults. He looked ready to argue but then just went to hug Lupin which surprised both men.

"You're always welcome in my office, whenever you need anything.", Lupin said softly, petting Harry's hair before letting go. Harry simply nodded before turning back to Snape with a sullen expression.

"Go through, I'll take your things.", Snape ordered and watched Harry wave to Lupin before vanishing in the flames. He turned to his colleague and he hesitated a moment "I'm sorry I had to interrupt like this."

"Don't worry.", Lupin said easily "I'll just live off that hug until I see him again."

Snape turned to see Lupin struggling to hold in his smile, Snape raised an eyebrow at that and smoothly said "Challenge accepted."

Back in his own living room Harry was nowhere to be seen "Harry?"

Snape went up and opened the door to Harry's room to find him sulking on the bed. He dropped the bag by the door and went to sit at the edge of the bed.

"Don't you want to know what this was about?"

Harry shrugged. Snape hated it when he did that.

"There's a prisoner that escaped from Azkaban."

"Don't care.", Harry mumbled into his cushion. Snape was getting irritated with this attitude real fast.

"Harry, face me.", when Harry didn't react, Snape roughly turned Harry on his back and tipped his chin up until he got a glare. At least they were making eye contact

"I didn't bring you here to ruin your time with Lupin. I brought you here for you own safety."

Harry huffed angrily "What do I care about any stupid prisoner from Azaban?"

"Azkaban.", Snape corrected automatically "You should care about him, he ran away for you."

At this a little interest peaked in those green eyes

"Sirius Black was connected to your parents death in a similar way that I was.", Snape explained and seeing he finally had Harry's full attention, began further back in the story "He was your fathers best friend, he was your parents' best man and was later named your sole godfather because Lupin couldn't take the honors for both occasions."

"Anti Werewolf laws.", Harry nodded

"Exactly. When I went and told Dumbledore about the Dark Lords plan to hunt your family he protected them in the safest possible way. He put a Fidelius Charm on your home. This charm works through binding a secret with someones soul. They bound the location of the Potters home to Sirius Blacks soul and he went and betrayed it to the Dark Lord the moment he had a chance."

Harry gasped a that, his eyes wide with shock "Why?"

Snape shook his head "He is the only one who could answer this. He ran when the Dark Lord fell that night, but was cornered by the last one of your fathers little gang of friends: Peter Pettigrew. Little Peter confronted Sirius but he was never anything in comparison to Black and he blew him up. Peter died together with twelve Muggles that day. Black's been at Azkaban, the wizard prison, ever since."

Harry sat on the bed, pale and shivering, staring into his lap. "What a bastard."

"Harry!", Snape scolded lightly, taking a blanket and draping it over the boys legs. Harry looked up, eyes shining with held back tears

"If it wasn't for him, they'd be alive.", he said with a heavy voice, Snape stared at those eyes, the last remaining connection to Lily. And then he realized: it wasn't just the eyes, it was the way he wrote his 'g', or his mischievous grin, that surprisingly had nothing in common with James' evil visage. It was the way the boy silently and deeply cared about the people around him. The way he showed in small gestures, that he was more Lily's son than James', at least to Severus. The way he put the right amount of sugar into Severus tea without asking, just like Lily had done in school every day. The way he lost in Scrabble every time and argued about every point or the way he felt fascinated with the untouched set of gobstones that his mother had once presented Severus with. It was these things, these little reminders of his very best friend, his first love, that made him jump his shadow and consolingly put a hand on Harry's shoulder

"I know."

"I wish he was dead. I wish I could kill him!", Harry ground out angrily rubbing at his stubborn eyes that wouldn't stop prickling.

"The best thing to honor your parents' sacrifice is to stay save, that's what they would want you to do. The ministry will find Black and put him back where he belongs."

Harry still had his jaw put in a way that made him look very stubborn but Snape let it go. He roughly ruffled up his hair and stood up "Come down and help me with dinner when you're ready, child."

"Yes, Papa.", Harry mumbled and even though he sounded dejected, Snape couldn't help but feel better at the last word. Harry was alive and safe. He was with him and he still liked him more than Lupin. And a darker side of him was satisfied that the anger Harry should feel at the role he had played in his parents death fell completely to Sirius. That felt a lot like poetic justice, he grinned to himself.

* * *

Harry didn't know what was happening outside of Spinners End because Snape had effectively locked them in. His broom never looked so sad, the sky never so cloudless and blue than in those days. He even begged Severus to go shopping, just to breath some fresh air.

"Alright you little pest!", Snape finally snapped after an hour of Harry's relentless nagging "We'll leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. You can break your neck on the Quidditch Pitch for all I care!"

Harry grinned "Oh, thanks, Da-, I mean Papa."

Snape looked at the child, who dutifully acted as if he hadn't almost slipped up, and decided again to ignore it. The kid was excited, nothing more, nothing less. And why did he even care? Papa or Dad – where was difference, really? Exactly, there was none. He should be glad, this was at least better than uncle, wasn't it?

"Well tidy up your dump upstairs.", he gruffly said "And I mean Hegwig's cage and Ophion's terrarium as well, young man!"

"Kay!", Harry screamed and ran up the stairs taking two at once. Snape shook his head at him and went to the telephone. He dialed the assisted living quarters' number, when someone finally picked up, he said

"Yes, I'd like to speak to Mr. Snape please."

"Oh, Severus, right? Its me, Sharon.", one of the nurses said

"Yes, hello Sharon.", Snape answered impatiently "Could I speak to my father?"

"Err... This is not a good time, Severus.", she said with what was obviously supposed to be a calming tone

"Is everything alright? I wanted to talk to him before I leave for work. I won't be able to call until the Christmas holidays..."

"Ah, yes, you work at that prestige school as a chemistry teacher, right? Tobias is so proud of you, he never talks about anything else. Except your cute son, of course. Never knew you had a child..."

"Sharon...", he interrupted "My father, please?"

"Oh... I would love to... its just...", she dropped her voice "Its one of his bad days."

Snape swallowed thickly, understanding in a moment what that meant, he stiffened "Oh... well... How has he been recently?"

Sharon hesitated again "I'm sorry, Severus, but he hasn't been doing so well, lately."

Snape felt taken aback by this. Every time he had talked to his father over the summer, he had sounded just dandy. That was why he decided to spent more quality time with Harry instead of bringing Tobias home, like always.

"Is it...", he cleared his thought "He wasn't disappointed, was he?"

"For not staying with you?", Sharon asked "No, he didn't take it too hard. He was rather excited about the pictures you gave him. He kept showing everyone his grandson."

Snape didn't know why, but he felt incredibly guilty at that.

"Severus.", Sharon said "I deal with old people all day and there are a lot of them who just wait for death around here. No one cares, no one visits in months. You keep in contact, he reads every one of your letters so often and after a call from you, he just beams all day. You are doing your best, so don't dare feel guilty. He'll come through, he always does."

Snape nodded to himself and took a deep breath "Thanks, Sharon, I appreciate it, really."

"Don't mention it.", she said brightly and they hung up after that

"Who's Sharon?", Harry asked, emerging from the stairs with a bag of something in his hand.

"My girlfriend.", Snape said with a completely straight face and Harry actually dropped the bag, which contained the disgusting inside of Hedwig's cage. Severus kept the smile from his face while vanishing the mess "She works where Tobias lives. That's how we met."

"You're having me on.", Harry decided, not completely convinced

"If you say so.", Snape said, turning his back "Be a good boy and check if Ophion's box is ready as well."

Harry stared after Snape unsure if he should laugh or feel mortified.

* * *

 

The next day Harry had released Hedwig into the sky, her cage and the terrarium had been sent on via floo into Snape's office – Snape looking tense until the connection was closed again – and they were now standing in the back garden with Harry's duffel bag and broom as company. Snape checked the clock again and then said

"Ready to go?"

Harry nodded vigorously "Can we walk through Hogsmeade?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at the last minute request "Are you scared I'll ban you from Hogsmeade visits?"

Harry shrugged noncommittally

"Come here."

Harry stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Snape's middle and enjoying the hug he received for the apparition. They materialized in the forest and walked a bit until they entered Hogsmeade. Harry looked around with big green eyes and pointed everything out, that Snape had seen a million times already. He did snort at the comment about the "Haunted house", but didn't explain.

"Oh can we go into Derwish and Banges?"

"Not while I have a say in this.", Snape declined "I'd rather go into Honeydukes than..."

"OK.", Harry said, interpreting Snape's hypothetical words in his own best interest. Snape let it slide, because he couldn't help but feel a bit proud of the child. That was probably the reason he bought him a jar of feast cookies, that taste of different Hogwarts feasts, like Christmas or Halloween. Harry was fascinated by them but Snape mainly thought about the little box under the boys bed that was now traveling in his duffel bag. If he was hoarding, he should at least put in things that couldn't go bad. And the box of chocolate frogs he had purchased alongside the dark chocolate for himself was only meant as a reward if the child behaved. He wasn't spoiling him, not him...

They walked up to the castle in a rather good mood, Harry munching on a welcoming feast cookie.

"Harry, I'd like it if you would write to Tobias now and again.", Snape finally said "I think he would enjoy it immensely."

Harry smiled up at him "Of course!"

Snape smiled down and wanted to thank him when cold wrapped himself around him and he heard his mothers last long drawn breaths on her death bed.

"Take care of him.", she rasped "Take care of your father, Sevvy."

He snapped out of it immediately and conjured a Patronus that took the form of a deer, as it chased away the cloaked figures of darkness. As his vision cleared again, he saw Harry lying on the ground and when his senses came back, he could feel his own safety pendant glowing warmly on his chest.

"Harry, wake up, Harry.", he knelt beside him and shook him

"Mum?", Harry murmured quietly and then his eyes fluttered and he came back to himself in a panic "What happened? Where am I?"

"Shh.", Snape soothed "Its alright, you're okay. Lets go, we need to get inside the castle wards."

Snape helped Harry on his feet and gave him a chocolate frog. He then steered him up the walk firmly, half dragging him in his hurry to get into safety. Before they even reached the entry to the grounds he waved his wand in an arch and it opened wide. He shoved Harry through and then turned to face it, putting several charm on to lock it. He imagined he saw a pair of yellow eyes watching him, but ignored it. There were a lot of creatures in the forest that didn't only come out after dark. He turned back to his charge who had finished the chocolate frog but was sitting in a heap on the grass.

"Is everything alright?", Snape asked, offering a hand to help Harry up. The child looked up, his eyes looking suspiciously wet

"I heard her. My mum. I heard her pleading with him for my life."

Snape felt shivers running down his spine, he took Harry by his arms and hoisted him up, leaning the child against his side

"You're shivering, you were exposed to the dementor for a rather long time. Shall I conjure a stretcher?"

Harry shook his head "I can walk."

"You cannot.", Snape decided after a few shaky steps and unceremoniously picked Harry up princess style. Harry was too weak to even protest and only laid his head on Snape's shoulder, secretly glad to be held. Snape felt alarmed by this reaction to a degree that made him jog to the castle. His pendant had stopped heating but he couldn't be sure if the child was really alright. Did the pendant cover the after effects of dementor attacks? He'd need to check.

Harry in his dazed state realized too late were his guardian was headed. Before he could protest they were already through the infirmary doors

"Dear god, what is it now?", Pomfrey snapped annoyed, when she saw them "The school year hasn't even started yet!"

"We ran into a dementor", Snape explained in between Harry's protestations of "I'm alright, I feel a lot better!"

Snape deposited the child onto a bed, where he sat with pink cheeks.

"Chocolate?", Pomfrey asked shortly

"Already had some.", Snape answered, while she buzzed around Harry

"He really does seem alright now, a bit off color but he'll recover soon. I guess he just needed a bit of snuggling..."

"I did not!", Harry said indignantly at the same time as Snape said "I carried him, woman. I wasn't _snuggling_."

"I am sure.", Madam Pomfrey said dryly, hardly hiding her smirk and turning her back to them.

"Insufferable woman.", Snape grumbled as Harry huffed "Snuggling - as if!"

But then Snape turned to Harry "You take this as a challenge, don't you?"

"Huh?", Harry asked lamely, color returning to his face slowly

"This whole guardianship, you take the 'guardian' part as a challenge – every chance you get, you put yourself in danger.", Snape raised an eyebrow to underline the statement. Harry first wanted to protest and argue, but then decided on a different route and grinned

"Well, you haven't even broken a sweat, so I guess I'll have to try harder."

He laughed when Severus tried to pinch his side in response.

* * *

Harry was soaring through the air on his broomstick trying hard to imitate a quidditch move he had seen in Flying with the Cannons. In their better days the Cannons keeper George Owell had been one of the best in Great Britain and had one signature move. He was a bulky sort of guy that wouldn't have looked amiss in a body builder competition, except for his orange Cannons uniform. His stare alone was said to be so awe inspiring that his opponents often just dropped the Quaffel in fear – or so Julius Dehoffe wrote. Harry found his collision move to be a good idea to adapt to seeking. Owell had sometimes just flown right at the Chasers who got nervous and made a mistake. Once or twice he even rammed into them.

Being a rather thin thirteen year old Harry didn't plan to ram into the opposing seeker, but he could see himself distracting him by flying right at him, for example if the Snitch was behind him. The key was to put on a poker face and lock eyes with the other player. As Harry couldn't train that part until his team mates were there, he tried flying as close to one of the goal posts as possible and then swerve to the side at the last moment. If he had the move down, he could practice the psychological trick later.

Thus he was flying at a goal post, when he saw something black in the corner of his eye, he swerved left and saw a great black dog sitting in the stands, watching him intently. It barked loudly when he looked at it. Harry felt like this dog was weirdly intelligent the way it kept his gaze locked with him and sat absolutely still. A chill went down his spine, when it gave a little snort. Feeling like he was being ridiculous he decided to leave the pitch and flew for Hagrid's cabin, where he was tending to his back Garden.

He landed and received a warm welcome from the ground keeper and Fang

"Say Hagrid, did you see a big black dog around here?", Harry asked casually, Hagrid thought about it and shook his head

"Not since 'bout one'a two decade's ago."

Harry drew his brows together and asked "Then do you know any magical creature that looks like a dog and lives in the forest?"

"Never seen 'em in the forest, but the Grimm's supposed to look like a black dog..."

"Harry?", Severus interrupted from a few yards away "do you want to see the crucial steps?"

Harry remembered that Severus had been brewing Veritaserum and hastily followed him back into the dungeons. Excited to finally see the brewing steps that made Veritaserum the most effective truth potion, he discarded his Nimbus rather coldly, which made Snape smile a little. He helped Harry up onto the work space and felt in perfect harmony again, with the child watching him brew.

When he finished, Harry gave an involuntary wide yawn.

"You can't stay awake during brewing Veritaserum, can you?", Snape joked and Harry rubbed his eye tiredly

"No, I just flew all day...", Harry protested

Snape helped him down and led him into the living room

"Papa...", Harry asked slowly "What's the Grimm?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at that and then said derisively "One of the reasons you are not taking divination this year."

Harry just looked questioningly at him

"Its a mythical creature that is said to be the darkest of omens. One who sees it is expected to drop dead.", Snape said it in such a careless, bored tone, that Harry just had to feel amused by it rather than worried "And it is total Humbug. Why, did you see a black dog?"

"Yes, I actually did. It was standing in the stands and looking at me...", Harry didn't want to sound paranoid, so he didn't tell Snape about the weird sensation of being watched and how threatened he had felt from the dog

"How did you hear about the Grimm?", Snape asked, bringing tea things

"I asked Hagrid about it, because I had never seen any other dog on the grounds than Fang."

"Hmm", Snape poured tea for them both, then gave Harry his cup "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah?", Harry asked, unconcerned, now that his fear of the Grimm had been appeased. It was only a shaggy big dog, nothing to be afraid of.

"Your room here, don't you want to decorate it?"

Harry blinked up at Snape. Decorate? What did he mean? Put flowers in or something? When Harry didn't answer, Snape elaborated "I can't believe I'm actually suggesting it, but you could put up some Gryffindor banners, pictures of your friends, posters of your Quidditch team..."

"Oh!", Harry said, expression clearing up on understanding what Snape expected "I didn't think I could... actually I never even thought about it."

"I imagined as much.", Snape sighed "Well, think about it."

Harry shrugged "It doesn't matter anyways, I'm staying in Gryffindor tower."

"For most of the time."

"Huh?", Harry looked up alarmed and Snape raised an eyebrow at him

"During holidays we will go back to Spinners End.", he explained and was relieved to see Harry smile at that "And if you're grounded, you'll stay here during the weekends."

"So I'm supposed to decorate the room for when I'm grounded...?", Harry asked without much enthusiasm

"No.", Snape immediately answered, then looked hard pressed to find any other reason "I expect you'll stay here when we brew together and it gets late... or if there is another reason."

"Like...?"

"We'll see.", Snape talked himself out of the question and shoved some biscuits at Harry. For some reason the biscuits seemed to remind Snape of something and he gave them a glare. Coming to a decision, he looked up with the guarded expression, Harry had learned to feel weary about. It usually meant the Dursley's were going to come up. He was kind of right "I noticed something in your room."

Harry didn't answer, he just waited for the bomb to explode. He took a biscuit in his hand, so he could bite it at a strategical time to avoid answering awkward questions.

"An elf contacted me when he found... food in one of your drawers."

Harry choked on the biscuit he had bit into, Snape conjured a glass of water and gave it to him, ignoring the still hot tea in front of Harry.

"You put them there?"

Duh. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"To have something to snack on.", Harry lied smoothly. Snape stared at him and then said

"Do you often snack on stale bread?"

Harry blinked and then felt his cheeks redden in anger "That was not in my drawer! That was in the box under my bed – what did you do? Search my room? Do you routinely go through my underwear? What do you think, that I steal from you?"

Snape didn't seem to be fazed at all by Harry's raised voice, he calmly answered "You may remember that you did indeed steal from me once." That sobered Harry up quite a bit "But no, that was not why I looked inside. You are an abused and neglected child. Even though I value your privacy, I value your safety more."

"What did you think was in there, poison?", Harry asked venomously

"No, but you live with a Potions Master, it is not unheard of that certain ingredients can be used as drugs." This had not been the reason behind Snape's looking into the box, he knew. But it had occurred to him later and this was how he had justified it to himself

"Great.", Harry spat "I think you'd realize if I stole stuff from your cupboard and smoked it in my room or something."

"Probably.", Snape admitted "It could just as well have been a knife or razor blades or..."

"You think I cut myself?", Harry said, horrified

"It would not be... Harry, listen. Healing from abuse and neglect is difficult and it can spiral out of control. You could be releasing frustration that way, how would I know if I didn't check?"

Harry didn't know why, but he felt incredibly betrayed and tears sprang to his eyes that he furiously tried to suppress "You think I'm that mental?"

"No, I don't. But I have to make sure."

"Well I'm not!", Harry screamed, frustrated with the situation and feeling hurt by Snape's assumptions more than he imagined possible. He was doing well, he was happy – why would Snape think he would do those things?

"Hoarding food because deep down you still feel so unsure about yourself and our relationship that you cannot even trust me to feed you at all times – what do you call that?"

Harry felt his nose block up from holding back tears and bit his lip in anger. He glared at Snape trying to get a hold of himself. He didn't know when it had happened, but he had sprung up and was breathing rather hard. Snape slowly stood up too, his movements deliberate.

"Harry, I know you're doing well, extremely well for the circumstances, but I fear for you..."

"You think I might snap at some point and start cutting myself and smoking gillyweed or some other crap.", Harry said coldly, challenging Snape with his gaze

"Language, Harry."

"Fuck the fucking language!", Harry screamed suddenly "And do you know why I don't trust you? Why I don't decorate my room, why I take all my stuff when I leave, why I can't throw away Dudley's clothes or hide food in my room? Because you were a bastard to me for a year. A whole year you treated me like crap, like the Dursleys! And then suddenly you turn nice and then I trusted that, I trusted you. I trusted you enough to tell you about them. And then what? I realize it was all just a dream, a charm that forced you.", Harry was crying by now, irritatedly wiping at his face and stepping away from Snape "And then you come back and take me away. And this is supposed to be all? Everything is alright now between us, just like that? Well no, it doesn't work like this. I don't trust you. Of course I don't."

Snape just stood there, entirely lost and hurt by those words. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He just stared at Harry and then sat back down, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. Harry stood there, waiting for the storm, waiting for screaming, maybe even hitting. But nothing came. Snape just sat there, stunned and paralyzed. Fed up with it all, Harry turned to his room and slammed the door shut. He threw himself on his bed and brooded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that happened ;)
> 
> So, what do you guys think about Harrys outburst? Other than that, how do feel about Harrys and Lupins relationship developing? How did you like the phone call about Tobias? Did you think Harrys reaction to Sirius Black's story was realistic? And oh yeah: Harrys hording food! One of the reviewers wanted to have this included and I had already written it, so I was really glad about that request ;) There will be other things as well that show Harrys insecurity.
> 
> And before you comment on it: I realize that Snape sometimes reacts badly - this is intentional. He is not perfect, he makes mistakes and he does have a dark side. The man was a death eater, remember? ;)
> 
> And next chapter, guys I'm so excited about the next two chapters and your reaction to it!  
> For chapter three: First there'll be the confrontation after the fight of course and during that we will all learn a lot more about Snape's past. Harry will have an encounter with Sirius (yes, so soon!). We will have a key scene that will be part of the setup for Harrys insecurities in the course of the story. And the school year starts again - with a few changes for Harrys schedule.  
> I've finished chapter four of the story and will start working on chapter five soon. I feel really good about this story, it flows easily, even without the strict plans I had for "love is a charm". I'm really proud of the following two chapters and hope you'll enjoy them too.


	3. Chapter 3

At some point Snape snapped out of his stupor and realized that he had ignored the child for quite some time. Horrified by his own vulnerability and stupidity he opened the door to Harry's room with a madly beating heart. Harry was there, lying haphazardly on top of his sheets, fast asleep. Snape gave a sigh of relieve. He hadn't left, done something stupid, put himself in danger or run away. His heart still racing from his moment of worry, he quietly came up to the boy. Severus carefully took away his glasses, took off his shoes and slowly extracted the sheets from underneath him. Snape stopped now and again, when Harry rolled over, or even just crinkled his nose, like every new parent does, who is unsure about what could wake their child. But Harry was exhausted from flying all day, concentrating on the potion and fighting with his guardian. He slept like the dead.

Finally having put Harry to bed properly, Snape sat down at his side. Harry had rolled onto his stomach, the way he liked to sleep. Snape had realized it after living with the child for a few weeks and stopped trying to roll him onto his back. He couldn't imagine, sleeping like this could be comfortable but Harry clearly disagreed. Without hesitating he laid a hand on Harrys shoulder. With Harry deeply asleep he could allow himself to show a bit of affection, especially after feeling so estranged from Harry during the fight. It still felt like the boy would reject him come tomorrow and the fear of that sat coldly in his stomach. He wanted to touch him, if it was the last night he would sleep here. Snape furrowed his brow in worry. He did not want to loose the child, but it felt like he was slipping away fast. At that moment Harry murmured contently in his sleep

"Papa."

And just like that his worries seemed ungrounded. He stared at the child. He had recognized him, even in his sleep. Harry was his child, whatever anybody said. It wasn't a charm, it wasn't duty or a promise. He cared for this child and sitting in the darkness of this room, he could openly admit it to himself: He loved Harry as fiercely and warmly as he would have if he had been his own blood. He wanted to kiss Harry's marked forehead but shook his head and left the room.

Breakfast was going to be weird. That was the first thought that entered Harry's mind when he woke up. He had never had a fight like this with Severus before. He blushed when he thought back to what he had screamed at the top of his lungs. Oh god. He rubbed at his eyes and then decided that he shouldn't drag out the confrontation. He quietly made his way to the bathroom and then came up to the dining table in Snape's kitchen.

Snape was already nursing a cup of coffee, glaring at the newspaper - "Sirius Back seen in Hogsmeade" it read.

"Er... Hi.", Harry said uncertainly, Snape looked up and then said

"Good morning, sit down and have breakfast."

'That's all?' Harry thought confused and hesitantly sat down. He quickly ate and kept glancing at Snape. Finally Snape looked up at him and said with a heavy voice "I am not going to explode at you, so will you please relax?"

Harry blinked and then shrugged. Snape let got of his cup and leaned back in his chair, regarding Harry. He came to a decision

"I want to tell you about my childhood.", he began, pausing a moment "My parents married because they were deeply in love. My mother had turned away from her magical family after a row and decided to live as a muggle. She didn't tell my father what she was until she got pregnant. Her own magic she could hide, but mine would finally tip him off. While pregnant, she told him she was a witch. My father had grown up in a strict catholic household. Even if he wasn't religious, he believed in god and the scripture. He was horrified and blamed her for tricking him into it. Even before my birth they were estranged.

In those times, especially in the magical society and the catholic background of my father, divorce was a seldom broken taboo. They stayed together because of that and me. I grew up alongside their growing resentment for each other. They both had affairs, which didn't lead to anything because they were not ready to divorce and take my parents from me. I actually wish they had.

Tobias was violent. He hit my mother and me. He screamed every day. That was how I grew up."

Snape finally looked up at Harry, who was listening intently and slightly disbelieving "That is why I don't raise my voice in class or my hand to you. That is why I don't drink, because it would make everything worse with him. When my mother died I left the house, as you know. My father fell ill after that. When I returned home, his condition had worsened. I still remember the day.

I came back and he didn't recognize me, demanded who I was and what I wanted. I thought he was being deliberately hurtful and screamed at him. He realized who I was and started crying. I had never seen him cry before and was shocked. I understood what was happening to him before he did and did everything to help him out. But caring for him, day in and day out, was more than I could do. I felt bad for it but brought him to the assisted living quarters. I visited often those first few months, because of my bad conscience.

I realized that he had changed. His personality had changed. I don't know if it was the illness, my mothers death or me leaving. Maybe it was all of it. But he had changed and then I vowed to myself that... I would not become him. I would not scream, I would not hit women or children and I would not drink excessively. And more than anything, it would not take death, abandonment and illness for me to change myself."

Harry looked down at his lap, while Snape continued

"I was hit and verbally abused, I know how it feels and I know how hard it is to overcome. I said yesterday it isn't unheard of for those children to develop an addiction. I refrained from alcohol but..."

Harry looked up at that and asked "You were addicted?"

"Yes. Euphoria Elixir and when that became too expensive, Alihotsy leaves.", Snape admitted with a sigh and rubbed his face "Of course at that point, being a Death Eater unable to quit, I had more than just my childhood I wanted to run away from. I told you I was ready to end my life – it was when I realized how out of control it was."

Harry sat stunned from all of this and slightly ashamed of his reaction yesterday.

"Sir... I am so sorry, I was so rude..."

Snape held up a hand and said "Forget about it, really Harry. I just want you to understand."

Harry nodded, feeling thoroughly miserable

"So you won't leave?"

Harry looked up, surprised at this question and for the first time looked at Snape. Really looked at him. He had bags under his eyes and looked exhausted, as if he hadn't found sleep that night.

"I... no, of course not.", Harry said and felt dreadful at Snape's sigh of relieve. He felt horrible for having caused Severus so much worry, when he had given him so much. He didn't know how to make up for his atrocious behaviour and blurted out the first thing that came to mind "Can I... can I hug you?"

Snape looked up surprised at that and stood up to pull Harry on his feet and wrap his arms around him. This felt so good, it felt like forgiveness. Harry closed his eyes and tightened his grip. He had thought that maybe it wasn't so important to hug someone. He didn't remember more than a hand full of people who he had ever hugged. Snape had been rather affectionate during the time he was under the charm. But just as it fell of, he had become unsure and distant. He still cared about Harry – Harry remembered with a warm feeling that he had actually said, he still loved him – but he just wasn't the demonstrative type. Still, a hug like this was like finalizing that they were okay now. He blushed a bit when he remembered what Pomfrey had said about snuggling and let go, embarrassed.

But Snape held his arm and cupped his cheek with the other hand "Harry, you don't have to ask if you want to... hug me."

He let go and stepped away awkwardly. Harry rubbed his neck shyly, looking anywhere but at Snape. So many revelations from Severus today and then he gave him permission to hug him whenever he wanted. Even though Harry would probably not do it often, he was thirteen after all... It still felt good to be allowed to, without feeling unsure about it.

And Snape had been addicted because he was abused as well. It felt like they had come closer just for knowing this about each other. But something else nagged at Harry now.

"I kinda don't wanna write Tobias anymore...", Harry mumbled and Snape looked up from his newspaper

"Harry... You don't have to..."

"No, no I know I don't...", Harry interrupted "But if he was so mean to you... It reminds me of Uncle Vernon and... I wouldn't want you to have friendly contact with him."

Snape contemplated that for a moment "Yes, but there is a difference. Tobias regretted his actions, he changed and he still tries hard to make up for it. Vernon never did and probably never will."

Harry gulped at that "But still... Tobias..."

"Say 'grandfather'.", Snape said quietly and Harry looked surprised

"You say 'Tobias'"

"Yes, I do. He hit me. I haven't completely forgiven him for it. But he was never anything but kind to you. It is unfair for you to be punishing him as well."

"Can I stop calling Vernon 'uncle' then?", Harry asked as quietly and Snape sighed

"Yes. Actually I would prefer you call him and your aunt by their given names. They don't deserve to be called the same as for example Lupin, who actually cares for you."

Harry nodded and then said "If I say 'grandfather' to Tobias, will you call him 'father' as well?"

Snape pressed his lips together

"You say 'father' to his face.", Harry added

"Yes, because I don't want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily.", Snape explained and then relented "You are right, of course. I'll call him 'father'. But please don't stop writing to him. He enjoys your correspondence immensely."

Harry nodded and sat down heavily. Snape looked at him for a while and said

"It was a long time ago and time does heal, even though it is hard to believe in the beginning.", he said warmly to Harry, leaning forwards "And we had good times as well, it wasn't all bad. He doesn't deserve to be reminded of his past failures during his last days."

"Last days? Is he dying?" Harry asked, his eyes widened

"Harry, he has a serious illness, you know that.", Snape reminded him "Alzheimer is fatal."

Harry looked at him with such a forlorn expression that he was forcibly reminded of his first discussion with the doctor about his father's illness. He had felt exactly like that, as if he had been rammed in the stomach by a sledge hammer. It felt surreal.

"I know it's hard to take."

"But he looked so well.", Harry said with the voice of a much younger person and Snape smiled sadly

"Do you remember how you tried to teach him chess?" Harry nodded "He was the one who taught me how to play."

Harry opened his mouth in disbelieve "But he couldn't even remember the moves for each piece!"

"Harry, he couldn't even remember he ever knew how to play.", Snape reached out and took Harry's hand "He has been ill for quite a few years now, he has lived longer than the normal life expectancy of someone with Alzheimer. He made up with his only son. He saw me adopt you."

Harry cast his eyes down at those words. The words 'you haven't adopted me' sprang to his mind, but he held them back. He knew what Severus meant, but the expression hurt nonetheless. Severus wasn't even his rightful guardian. Snape misunderstood his reaction and softly continued "I know, it is hard to believe and even harder to accept. But he has fulfilled all his desires and I believe he is ready to go."

Severus felt his heart fill with worry and dread at his own words but continued anyway "We will see him again at Christmas if he can."

"What do you mean?", Harry asked, his voice shaking with fear and Snape squeezed his fingers

"The woman I called before we left, Sharon, she does work at the assisted living quarters. She told me that he is not doing so well.", Snape stopped there for a moment, unsure of how to say what he wanted to express "She said that she believes he'll pull through but... I don't want you to have false hope. It is possible that he won't make it."

Snape took a deep breath after saying it out loud and to is surprise Harry squeezed his fingers back in reassurance "It is also possible that he won't be able to come to Spinners End and we will have to visit him there. But it is very clear to me that I will take every possible chance to see him before Christmas and after... Just in case."

Harry felt like he'd been dunked into ice water. Here Severus was, hiding his worry for his father and there he was, shouting at him because of a stupid biscuit tin. He ground his jaw. He was so stupid and selfish!

"I'm so sorry, Papa...", he said and stopped when he heard how thick his voice was, Snape looked at him and said

"Forget about it Harry, you didn't know.", he said

"Can I come when you go see him?", Harry asked, avoiding his eyes

"That would be very welcome. Tobias... I mean, father would be glad to see you again. Knowing I have you, gives him great pleasure."

Harry nodded and felt horribly inadequate.

* * *

 

"Ah my sweet boy, training so hard?", Dumbledore beamed, when he saw Harry trudging back his way up to the castle. Harry stopped and waited for Dumbledore to reach him, so they could walk up together "I believe Severus does enjoy a good challenge."

"Challenge, sir?", Harry asked

"Your next game against Slytherin will be much anticipated by him and Professor McGonagall.", Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling madly, he then waved his wand and vanished all the mud off Harry's clothes "And Mr. Filch will be glad not to have to clean up your traces."

"Oh, thanks", Harry said, looking down at himself "Do you think, Papa- err, I mean Professor Snape... will he mind if I win?"

"You can certainly call him 'Papa' in the right company, I encourage you to do so.", Dumbledore said warmly "Of course, not in front of any... untrustworthy person."

'Malfoy', Harry thought and nodded

"As for Severus, I believe he doesn't mind too much when you win. That is of course if you keep all your bones in place..."

They entered the Entrance Hall and then the Great Hall still talking about Quidditch

"Ah, my dear Minerva, you're back as well?", Dumbledore said, when he saw their addition to the dining table "You will be pleased to hear that your seeker is working extra hard."

McGonagall gave Harry a thin approving smile "Very good, Mr. Potter, that's the spirit."

Then she turned to Snape and said with a raised eyebrow "I hope your seeker is training as hard. We do want to have opponents and not mere victims."

Snape raised an eyebrow as well and said "We will see, Minerva. We will see."

Minerva smiled and raised a fork in mock threat "You are not sabotaging my seeker, are you?"

Snape looked scandalized "The muscle relaxant I mix into his pumpkin juice is purely health related, I assure you."

Minerva laughed at that and even Snape gave a small smile. Harry sat down grinning and gave Dumbledore a questioning look, Dumbledore smiled while filling his cup of tea

"These two... you wouldn't believe what goes on in the staff room before and after games, be it Hogwarts, regional or international."

Harry snickered, imagining the war between both teachers

"Well, she does support the Holeyhead Harpys.", Snape said derisively, as if it was an explanation for their behavior

"Says the Cannon Supporter.", Minerva snorted

"You support the Chudley Cannons?", Harry asked excitedly "Its Ron's team, too."

"Good boy.", Snape praised "Its only loyal fans who keep to a team no matter what."

"And there are a lot of reasons to stop supporting that team.", Minerva mumbled quite audibly, which made Flittwick snort

"Ah, there they go again.", Dumbledore said to Harry out of the corner of his mouth, when Snape started arguing with McGonagall about the Cannons "Please make them stop."

Even though Harry knew Dumbledore had said it jokingly, he intervened in his teacher's squabble

"I tried a move from Owell in training.", he said

"Owell? But he was a keeper.", Snape said confused

"Yeah, but I adapted it to seeking.", Harry said proudly "I will just..."

"Stop right there, young man!", Minerva interrupted "Don't discuss tactics with the enemy."

Snape huffed at that and Harry laughed "I wasn't going to tell him exactly..."

"Which move?", Snape asked, earnestly interested

"Its the one where he flies directly at you, you know, to intimidate his opponent."

"How have you been practicing that without a partner?", Flittwick asked

"Oh, I just fly at a goal post and avoid it at the last...", at this point Harry looked at Snape, who gave him an incredulous look, that turned murderous quickly. Harry ended quietly "...minute."

"The joys of raising a Gryffindor.", Minerva whispered to Snape, grinning. Snape merely glanced at her and then conveyed with only one look that he'd be having a conversation with the young Quidditch player after lunch. Harry started playing with his food in response.

Harry still couldn't believe that Snape had cut his training time in half so as to be able to stay with him during the whole time. Harry had complained endlessly about it but knew Snape wouldn't budge. Secretly he was glad that Snape was there. The creepy dog kept appearing when he trained and it did distract him immensely. With Severus there he felt a lot saver. Still, he wouldn't be able to use Owell's move with Snape sitting right there.

"If you are here anyway, could you throw these at me?", Harry asked, pointing at a heap of soft black and red balls the size of bludgers.

"I don't need an invitation to throw something at you.", Snape said easily, already picking up some of them. Harry grinned and jumped onto his broom, rising into the air gracefully. Snape started throwing them mercilessly, clearly enjoying the game of "Hit Harry". He was really good too...

"OK, OK! Time out!", Harry screamed after a while and Snape threw one last ball straight at his head "Papa!"

"What?", Snape asked innocently throwing a ball up in the air and catching it, while Harry came closer,

"Take a broom too, then you can attack me from different angles. I'll release the training Snitch, so you can surprise me while I'm searching for it."

Snape seemed to be less thrilled by the idea, but took one of the old school broom anyway. Harry realized immediately why Snape liked to stay afoot rather than airborne. He didn't know if he had just gotten a bad broom, but he was swaying on it as if he was drunk. The broom quivered and Harry had the reflex to catch Severus but refrained from coming closer when he received a glare. So it wasn't the broom, Harry decided and a warm feeling spread through him when he realized: Snape had flown without a word of protest, even though he must know how much he sucked compared to Harry.

"Those school brooms are crap. I only flew them once or twice and nearly landed on my butt.", he said, exaggerating shamelessly. But Snape caught on

"Now I know why Rolanda whines about them every year at the staff meeting.", he grumbled and finally steadied himself. He used one of the broom baskets to load the squishy black and red balls and then nodded for Harry to start. Harry released the little training Snitch, which was the same as a normal Snitch but could be called back by whistling a certain tune. Snape began throwing the balls at him, summoning them back, when he had emptied his basket. Harry realized that one doesn't have to be an expert flyer to knock a Quidditch player off his broom.

"Hey! I nearly fell!", he screamed at Snape

"And now imagine it would have been a real bludger.", Snape screamed back, Harry huffed and didn't point out that beaters normally didn't concentrate on one player alone. Then he saw the Snitch and sped at it – being hit right in the face by one ball – and nearly slid off the broom, when he jerked to stop suddenly. He rounded on his broom, staring at the black dog in the stands. Snape came flying to him directly, even though it was not a perfectly straight line he flew, and asked "What happened?"

"I thought... did you see that?"

"What? The dog?", Snape stared at the dog as well, who stared right back

"He... looked like a man, for a moment.", Harry said, hearing how insane that sounded. Snape glanced at him and then said

"He probably stood on his hind legs.", Snape explained "You were flying pretty fast and your eye sight is not the best as well..."

"Yeah, that's probably it.", Harry mumbled unsure and kept staring at the black dog, who didn't let Snape out of his eyes. Snape ruffled his windswept hair and resumed his Beater position.

"You lost the Snitch over it.", he called and playfully threw a ball at Harry, who grinned and threw it back, before resuming his search.

Harry caught the Snitch a few times, but his heart wasn't in it. They stopped training soon after. Snape sensed his uneasiness and tried to cheer him

"After a shower we can brew the Eagle Eye Serum."

That made Harry grin "Really? Can we go up to the Astronomy Tower then?"

"I believe we could take a swig for Aurora as well.", he said, smiling at his success, he put a hand on Harry's back, guiding him into the changing rooms and looked back at the stands. The black dog had left and Snape scowled. He would have to talk to Hagrid about it.

* * *

 

That night Harry followed Severus up the stairs and witnessed why he was Head of Slytherin House.

"Good Evening, Aurora.", he said with a warm, silky voice that made Harry start and stare at him.

Professor Sinistra, who was checking the students telescopes, looked up and nodded in acknowledgment

"Severus and young Mr. Potter.", the beautiful witch greeted. She had dark skin, black hair and brown eyes. Somehow Harry had always thought that's how Cleopatra must have looked like.

"How can I help you?"

"We would like to gaze at the stars tonight, if you don't mind.", with the same smooth voice, Harry tried not to look too surprised

Aurora raised an eyebrow, clearly not affected by Snape's voice "I'm sorry, but I'm adjusting the telescopes today, you cannot use them."

"Ah, but we don't need them.", he said silkily, pointing at his eyes "We brewed Eagle Eye Serum today and are testing it. By the way, the red in your hair looks radiant."

Aurora blinked and automatically reached up to her solid black hair. Harry squinted and then saw that there were very faint red strands of hair in between. Radiant was a blatant exaggeration, as he thought no one without the Serum would even be able to see it.

"Ah, well thank you. I thought the charm didn't work...", she blinked, slightly confused "If you are quiet you can certainly peruse the sky."

Snape gave a little bow and led Harry away from her. They gazed up into the sky, naming the constellations and pointing out irregularities. They even saw a shooting star. Then they looked into the forbidden forest, playing 'I can something you cannot'

When they left, Snape presented Aurora with a little flask of the Serum "So you can connect with the stars directly."

She smiled for the first time that evening and offered "You can come up whenever you like."

Harry didn't think about that until he caught Snape grinning smugly on the way back down

"What?", he asked

"'You can come up whenever you like'", Snape repeated, grin widening "Not 'whenever you want to look into the sky' or 'whenever you need anything'"

Harry blinked, then laughed nervously "But, Papa, what about Sharon?"

Snape raised an eyebrow "Do you see a ring on my hand?"

This time Harry laughed freely "What kind of example are you setting for me?"

Snape put up a worried face "You're right of course. Forget I said anything. I am faithful to dear Sharon."

Harry chuckled but then turned serious "You aren't in a relationship, though, are you?"

"I told you about Sharon."

"Seriously, Da-, Papa!", Harry whined, Snape glanced at him and then turned serious, too

"No, I am not in a relationship or dating, nor will I enter into any commitment soon."

"That's not because of me, is it?", Harry asked quietly, Snape raised an eyebrow at that

"Of course, before you came along I had one woman in after the other.", Snape said ironically.

Harry pouted at being made fun of like that.

"No, Harry, it is not because of you. It is only that I have certain responsibilities I will have to face as soon as the Second War starts. Those responsibilities do not go well together with serious relationships and commitment. And I am the kind of person that does not care for easy relationships without meaning."

Harry, with his thirteen year old mind, could not possibly understand all the meanings of this, but he nodded solemnly anyway. Thinking about what Snape had said, he realized something else: 'not ready for a serious commitment' did apply to more than the relationship to a woman. It applied to their relationship as well. Harry started, biting his lip as he contemplated that.

What did that mean? That Harry could only stay with Severus as long as the Second War didn't start? Did it mean this whole guardianship was a temporary solution because Snape kind of liked him and pitied him? But he had said he loved him... Still, Snape was not his guardian in name, it was Dumbledore. Any time he wanted, Snape could throw him out. And even though he never said anything about being called "Papa" and called their guardianship an 'adoption' more than once – he had never referred to Harry as his child or son, nor had he actually adopted him. He was free to go whenever he wanted and to take back everything he had given Harry – possessions as well as feelings and rights.

Harry gulped audibly, which made Snape turn to look at him. Harry looked so visibly troubled and the hallways were still empty of any living soul other than them, that he put his arm around Harry's shoulders, squeezing him to his side.

"Don't worry about it, Harry.", Snape said easily "As soon as the Dark Lord vanishes for good, I'll date. I will probably take you along, so they can see what an amazing, warm and good-hearted person I am."

Harry grinned at that and leaned into the half-embrace even though he said "Good plan, otherwise they would never know."

"Cheeky brat!", Snape said and pinched Harry, who laughed even as he protested half-heartedly "Ow!"

* * *

 

It was the weekend before the start of term, when Severus turned to Harry and asked

"The Weasleys must be back from Egypt, are they not?"

"Yeah", Harry answered "They went there after my birthday and came back on Wednesday, I think. Hermione's there too."

"Would you like to spend a few days with them?", Snape asked, trying to sound casual

"Why...?", Harry asked suspiciously

"We didn't buy your third year equipment.", Snape explained

"Oh!", Harry remembered "Of course, yeah... The Weasleys will not have had time either..."

"You can spend time with them and buy your things. Then you all take the train together."

"You don't want to go shopping in a packed up street full of last minute shoppers.", Harry said, smiling knowingly, Snape grunted "Well, I would like to see them. Can Hegwig stay here?"

"Yes, Ophion as well, if you like."

"No, I want to take him.", Harry said, stroking the sleepy creatures head.

"I don't hear you talking to him.", Snape commented watching Harry with the little snake around his wrist

"Well, he sleeps a lot. Is that normal?"

"He's a snake and I believe he is quite comfortable near a source of heat." Harry looked up questioningly "You."

"Ah.", Harry said, understanding. He glanced at the paper, that Snape had disregarded "Anything new about Black?"

"Seen in the village.", Snape answered "Another reason you should spend some time away from here."

"You're trying to lure him out?", Harry asked, Snape scowled

"No, I am not using you as human bait. I meant, it would be good for you to spend some time away from the proximity of a madman who's after your blood."

"Hmm...", Harry hummed, still busy with his pet "What will you do, when I'm gone?"

"I have finished all my pre school year obligations. I will spend some time with Tobias- my father."

"Oh!", Harry said, disappointed "I wanted to go, too."

"I will give your regards."

Harry pouted at that

"We can go on a weekend during the year."

Harry's pout lessened but he still felt like this was a tad unfair. It wasn't his responsibility to remember buying school stuff anymore, so why should he be the one punished for it...

"How much money will you need for your books?", Snape said and Harry realized he had gotten up from the desk to retrieve a pouch with money

"Don't know", Harry shrugged "But a lot less than last year, all those Lockart books were expensive."

"Didn't he present you with them?", Snape asked offhandedly

"I gave Ginny those, I didn't want to have a present from a total stranger."

Snape gave him an approving smile and laid quite a hand full of Galleons on the table

"I don't think I need quite that much...", Harry said, looking up, feeling extremely uncomfortable with receiving money like that.

"How honorable my Gryffindor charge is", Snape said, with a little smile "Buy your things and then take out the Weasley children and Miss Granger for an ice cream. The Weasleys will never take money from you or me for playing host to you these next days. This way we can pay them back a little."

"Yeah, but I think I'm the youngest, expect Ginny. Don't know if they'll let me..."

"Say I ordered you.", Snape interrupted, then grinned "But if you're too honorable to lie: I hereby order you..."

Harry threw a cushion at him and then vanished into his room to pack his duffel bag again.

~~~

"The Weasleys are waiting for you, floo through whenever you're ready.", Snape said, looking in on Harry. He stopped when he saw the teenager sitting on the floor quietly "Harry?"

Harry turned around and gave him a shy smile. This way Snape could see that he had something on his lap

"I was looking through my album. Everyone I care about is in there... everyone but you."

Snape walked into the room and sat down beside him. Harry had the album open on the last page that had pictures on it. It was a shot of the three friends together at the end of last year. Hermione had her arms around Ron and Harry at her sides, all three were grinning. Harry was the smallest from them all, Ron the tallest. Snape hoped Harry would grow taller than Hermione, now that he ate properly. Snape put a hand on Harry's head and lightly ruffled his hair, but kept his hand there even afterwards.

With his other hand he idly flipped through the pages until he came to a wedding photograph with Lily, James and the rest of the marauders. He stared at them.

James, whose carbon copy Harry was, at least in looks and Lily, who had given so much of her character to the boy along with the startlingly beautiful green eyes. Then there was Peter, struggling to even make it into the picture. Lupin who looked tired but glad, as if it was an unbelievable honor to be there. Severus looked at him a little longer. He had had slightly longer hair back then, tied back and with less gray in it. His scars still gave him a disgruntled look, even though he was wearing a first class suit, the same as the other two unmarried men in the picture. His honey brown eyes still held the same warmth but lacked the occasional haunted look and a few wrinkles around them. Snape felt a sudden kinship to Lupin he had never experienced before.

Startled he looked away and at the last person. Sirius Black had his arm firmly around James' shoulder and held an identical grin on his face. He looked so handsome, Lily was the only one to outshine him in this picture, even though James radiated more happiness and pride. Black had long hair as well, but where Lupin's was light brown and slightly frayed, his was thick, black and sleek. A strand fell handsomely into his eyes that, even though they were laughing, gave the impression that he knew exactly how good looking he was. One of his arms was loosely held around Lily in a way that suggested he had been pushing the bride and groom closer together. Snape felt such a hot anger flare up in him at that handsome, young face he wanted to rip him out of the picture. He used Occlumency to calm his thoughts before turning the page and looking down at a toddler Harry busily chewing a toy dragon. Harry suddenly shut the album and looked up at him in a beseeching way. He remembered that the child wanted a picture of him and any lasting resentment towards Black vanished.

"I will arrange something. Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"Oh.", Harry said and smiled again "Its stupid."

Snape raised an eyebrow

"At the Dursleys I had this loose floorboard where I hid all the stuff I really cared about. And somehow I did the same thing here, its just that I put it under the bed."

'The box', Snape thought immediately and nodded "You realize, you can use a shelf for the album, I won't take it away, and your cloak is on a shelf at Spinners End."

"Yeah, that's because you put it there.", Harry grinned "I know... I was being silly."

Harry got up and put the album in a shelf, while he did that, Snape glanced at the packed bag and saw the box peaking out. The sighed quietly and got up from the floor.

"I'm ready.", Harry said and they both left for the living room, where Snape put his bag beside the fireplace.

"Be good for the Weasleys and don't forget the ice cream invitation.", Snape said and saw Harry reach out for the floo powder tentatively. 'Not like that', Snape thought, frowning slightly 'I am not going to loose to Lupin!'

As such he pulled the boy into a gruff one armed hug and ruffled his hair again. Letting him go, he cleared his throat awkwardly, Harry grinned up at him and left with a cheery "Bye, Papa!"

Snape looked at the green flames until every last spark died down, then grinned briefly

'2:1, Lupin. I like this ratio.'

* * *

"Harry!", Ron shouted and pulled Harry into the room "Finally. I have to tell you all about Egypt."

Harry grinned at him and let himself be hugged warmly and firmly by Mrs. Weasley and Hermione. It felt good, but it didn't compare to the gruff, awkward half-hug that Snape had given him. Probably nothing ever would

"Oh Harry, you have to tell us about Professor Lupin, what's he like?", Hermione asked and the three went outside to discuss their holidays so far. When dinner time rolled around they had already told each other almost everything.

"Been practicing?", Fred asked over the dinner table

"Yeah, I flew around while I was at Hogwarts and Severus even trained with me."

The weirdness of him saying 'Severus' instead of 'Snape' had worn off by now but this news was surprising enough in itself

"Wait, wait, wait!", George said "The Head of Slytherin House trained the Gryffindor seeker? What did you do to him Harry?"

"I'd like to know if he did anything to you.", Fred asked as wide eyed as his brother, Harry laughed

"No, I was trying out this move from Owell and it was kind of dangerous. He heard about it and cut my flying time so he could oversee. Then I told him since he was there, he could help and he played Beater with those squishy balls. I think he really enjoyed himself because he had an excuse to throw things at me."

That made the table laugh and Mrs. Weasley said warmly "I'm so glad."

As Harry was sure she wasn't glad about him being hit with balls repeatedly, he blushed and smiled at her. They spent a few enjoyable days together until it was time for their trip to Diagon Alley and Hermione purchased Crookshanks, to Ron's disgust – "You bought that orange beast?"

Soon it was time to board the train and the three chose the compartment with Lupin, who was sleeping peacefully.

"You just stay away with that monster.", Ron said, keeping his pocket closed with his hand and glaring at Hermione, who huffed

"Harry and Ophion don't mind!", she said

Harry turned to his little friend and hissed "Do you mind the cat?"

"Not as long as it stays away." Harry grinned at that "But keep me away from the rat."

"Why?", Harry asked astounded

"It smells strange."

Harry laughed at that

"What did he say?", Hermione asked

"That Scabbers smells weird and he doesn't mind Crookshanks as long as he's at a distance."

"Well, he probably smells scared and who would blame him!", Ron said and Hermione rolled her eyes, but still kept a firm grip on Crookshanks. They enjoyed a few treats from the trolley before Lupin woke up. Harry offered him a pumpkin pastry before he said he'd make a round in the train to see if everybody was behaving. He had only been gone a few minutes when the train stopped and the atmosphere turned icy.

"What is that?", Ron asked shakily and their question was answered when the compartment door slid open to reveal a cloaked figure. It affected Harry worse, who collapsed in a dead faint before Lupin could rush in and drive it away.

"Harry, are you quite alright?", he handed him a chocolate bar before he proceeded to explain about dementors "They were not supposed to enter the train."

After these words he left to talk with the other adults on the train and soon after they reached their destination. While they were transported to the castle, his friends were quiet and shot him anxious looks. But Harry was surprised to see them look relived, when Snape emerged in the Entrance Hall and ordered him to come down to the dungeons. As soon as the door to their quarters shut, blocking the rest of the world out, Snape turned to him "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Uncle Remus gave me chocolate and.. Wha-?!"

Harry had been swept into a fierce embrace and stood there, unsure of how to react "Papa?"

"I just remembered what Poppy said about snuggling after a dementor attack."

Harry had freed himself from the hug before Snape even finished the sentence and glared at him with a red face. Snape grinned as if he had just managed a hilarious joke.

"But seriously, you are uninjured?"

"I am fine, thanks.", Harry snapped at him "You know, instead of laughing at me you could help me."

Snape smiled and said "Don't be so sensitive. What can I help you with?"

"Well, teach me how you made the dementor go away, so I can do it too."

"It is quite advanced magic, there are even some adults who can't master it."

"Yeah, I realize you're amazing.", Harry snapped, still annoyed, which made Snape's grin even broader "But even if I cannot do it properly, I can at least hold them off until help arrives."

Snape considered this seriously and then said "Yes, we could try at least."

"And now I'll be the last to enter the hall.", Harry murmured in a bad mood, Snape put a hand between his shoulder blades discreetly and steered him into the corridor. The warm hand did feel good and seemed to melt a bit of Harry's annoyance.

"No, you won't.", Snape said, pointing at Hermione and McGonagall who waited outside the hall for them to join up. The four of them entered together and dispersed at the Gryffindor table. Both students sat down while the teachers claimed their spaces at the staff table quietly.

"Is Harry alright?", Poppy whispered to Snape and he nodded

"I made sure he received both remedies.", he said with a straight face and Poppy looked confused for a moment, before she grinned too and looked at the Gryffindor they were discussing. Harry chose that moment to look in their direction and went scarlet again as he saw Pomfrey grin

"I see, is that the reason he is blushing right now?"

"At least he has color in his cheeks again.", Snape said easily, trying hard not to grin, Pomfrey snorted

"Indeed."

* * *

 

The next morning McGonagall came and discussed their choice for additional subjects, she turned to Harry and said

"You guardian requested only that you not be allowed to take divination.", McGonagall began "Usually I wouldn't agree with restrictions like these, but in this case..."

Harry blinked surprised, McGonagall had never shown dislike for a colleague before, even Lockart. But the look on her face made it clear why she didn't disagree with Snapes restriction.

"And as you are now an apprentice, Professor Snape will give you official private lessons, which count as one additional subject. That means you only have to choose one other."

"OK, I'd like to take Care of Magical Creatures.", Harry said "What about you Ron?"

"Aww, I wanted to take Divination with you.", Ron said "OK, we can go to Care together."

They both received their schedules and looked them over. At the times that Harry would have had Divination, he now had to report to Snapes office for additional brewing. He already knew that he would follow a difference curriculum than the rest of potions class.

"Additionally.", Harry looked up, surprised to still see Professor McGonagall there "You will have to hand in a paper on a special subject in Potions instead of the end of year exams."

"What? Why?"

"As an apprentice it is supposed that your knowledge surpasses that of a normal third year student. As such you cannot sit the same exams and the examiner for Potions in the ministry has requested to receive this paper from you instead."

Harry looked so lost with this, that McGonagall gave him a thin smile "Don't worry, Professor Snape will assist."

* * *

After his eventfull first Care of Magical Creatures Class, Harry went to his Private Advanced Potions Application with Snape. Snape seemed to be rather looking forward to it, as he was humming while setting out a large number of ingredients.

"Hello, Professor.", Harry said to draw his attention and Snape looked up, with a flick of his wand the door closed behind Harry and Snape said

"Good day, Harry. You can relax."

Harry took this as an invitation to take off his robe and trudged to Snape asking "McGonagall said I have to prepare a paper instead of the exam."

"Professor McGonagall.", Snape corrected in an offhand way "That is exactly what I am preparing right now. I looked through my old ideas for new developments and found this little note."

Snape took out the note, waving it without showing it to Harry "Are you familiar with what a molotov cocktail is?"

Harry raised his eyebrows so high they disappeared into his hairline "Isn't it that bottle people throw that explodes?"

"Correct.", Snape said, still in a ridiculously good mood "We will develop a magical variant. Vials that you can throw at a target to achive a certain effect."

"You don't want to blow things up, do you?", Harry asked carefully, feeling excitement growing in him as well

"I wouldn't mind that.", Snape said failing at hiding his smile "But there are other things as well. You could fill it with a topical sleeping draught for example..."

"ThatIsSoCool!", Harry said breathlessly, ideas bombarding his mind "You could throw a vial that has a Boil Potion in it and the person would have boils all over or an invisibility draught. What about that Potion that makes you fall into a Coma?"

"The Draught of Living Death?"

"Yeah, that one!", he grinned at Snape, his eyes sparkling with excitement, all fear about being graded from a Ministry official forgotten. Snapes eyes softened at that look and he said

"I believe you will enjoy this research."

Harry grinned at him and rolled up his sleeves like Snape had done, noting that Snape had put the glamour over his Dark Mark again, unlike during the holidays when he didn't hide it infront of Harry any more.

When Harry told Ron and Hermione about his project during lunch they chorused jealously "You are so lucky!" for two entirely different reasons.

"You can explore so many Potions and ingredients and change them up to fit the method. You will learn so much.", Hermione said without even trying to hide her jealousy as before.

"You can blow things up for a school project and even get a good grade for it!", Ron complained "Sometimes I hate you, Harry."

Harry grinned and said "I bet I can get Sev-" Harry stopped himself and said "Snape to let you two help. Maybe he'll even give you extra credit for it."

"Oh, can you please ask him, please!", Hermione pleaded "It was worse enough that you could brew Felix already."

"Yeah.", Ron added without caring a bit about Felix Felicis "It would be so cool, I'd do it without extra credit."

Harry grinned at both of them and felt a warm contentment in his stomach. He had a dad and he did cool stuff with him. It was so cool that his friends were jealous and wanted to join. He had what he had always wanted. This feeling made him quite generous and he didn't mind sharing his dad for a little while with them. Smiling he looked up at the staff table and realized that Uncle Remus was whispering something into Severus ear, that made him scowl pretty badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo!
> 
> I hid a little easter egg in this chapter. And the reviewer who finds it, I will dedicate the next chapter to. ( wiki/Easter_egg_%28media%29)
> 
> And regurlar updates will be scheduled for Fridays and Tuesdays.
> 
> This chapter: I introduced Tobias' illness again. I'm super excited about this part of the story as death plays such a vital role in the HP series. Next chapter will be even better than this one, in my humble opinion.
> 
> Chapter four: Sev and Harry visit Tobias, there's a lot of emotion in this one, get your hanky ready ;) And then there are several people who have a discussion with Sev, trying to help him deal with his fathers illness and possibly soon demise. And there's a little Sirius in there as well.


	4. Chapter 4

"So how will this work?", Harry asked curiously and looked at Severus. It was the first weekend after classes had started and he was going to visit Tobias with Severus.

"Take this.", Severus said, giving him the invisibility cloak "We'll apparate."

Harry nodded, hiding underneath the cloak and joining Severus on the stroll over the grounds. They entered the forest and walked a while until Severus stopped and whispered

"See the stone with the red marking?"

Harry looked at a small stone that had a red stain on it and whispered "Yes."

"That's the apparation boundary.", Snape said, spreading one arm away from himself to invite Harry to his side. Harry immediately wrapped his arms around his middle and leaned in. Snapes arm came around his shoulders and squeezed him a little to his side. Harry smiled before feeling the familiar sensation of vanishing and reappearing in the neighborhood of Spinners End.

Snape let go of him and requested he take off the cloak and took it from him. They walked out of the alley and had to leave a few streets behind, before they saw the assisted living quarters.

It was a rather modern set of buildings, one part of it looked like a small hospital and another like a retirement home. The other part was like an apartment building with rows of rows of small one or two bedroom apartments. Some of them had flowers at the windows and Harry smiled looking at them. But Severus was walking towards the area that looked more like a hospital and indeed, that was where they went. When they had walked straight past the welcome desk – Severus nodding at the young lady sitting there – they walked up a few flight of stairs and entered an area that smelled strongly of desinfectant. Hary crinkled his nose and looked around, Severus went straight for the nurses station and said "Sharon?"

A young woman, Harry guessed she must be around 20 to 23 years old, turned around and gave them a broad smile.

"Severus! How lovely to see you again so soon.", she said warmly before spotting Harry, her smile widened "And young Harry, the chemistry genius."

Harry blushed and smiled before shaking her hand. He stared when she and the other nurses hugged Severus or clapped him on the shoulder in welcome. Sharon took them to Tobias' room and entered after knocking.

"Look, lovey, who I brought you today?", she said brightly and let them in. Harrys smile fell off his face when he saw Tobias, lying in the hospital bed, connected to several machines. Tobias smiled weakly and his eyes twinkled in excitement

"You are an angel, Sharon, my dear.", he said and sounded a lot older than he was. Sharon gave them all a last wide smile before leaving. Severus went up to Tobias and sat down on the chair beside his bed taking his fathers hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful, dear boy. Now I feel wonderful.", Tobias looked at Harry "You brought my child, come here, Harold."

Harry walked up to him, unsure of how to act and Tobias took his arm to pull him closer

"I missed your voice, dear lad.", Tobias said "Missed you reading to me."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, father.", Severus said, giving Harry a newspaper from the bedstand. Harry saw that a few pictures of himself adorned the bedstand. Harry was even wearing his Quidditch robes in one of them and he asked himself how Tobias explained the strange attire to the other muggles. Between those pictures he even spotted one of Severus, kneeling in the back garden of Spinners End in between his herbs. He had his hair tied at the nape of his neck and was in the process of cutting leaves. Harry took the newspaper but Tobias was shaking his head

"I read that already. No, I want Harold to read me...", he looked through his drawer and pulled out an old battered bible "...this."

Harry took the holy book, looking uncertainly at Severus, who nodded stiffly.

"Yes, Grandfather.", that made Tobias smile and taking hold of Severus hand again and laying back contently, he said

"There is a marking, read that part, my dear lad."

Harry began to read calmly, becoming more worried the longer he read

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me." Tobias squeezed Severus hand and he looked up to his fathers calm, relaxed face "In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?" Again he squeezed his son's hand, but this time Severus saw him swallow hard too "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." At this Severus felt Tobias' hand tremble in his and covered it with his other. His heart was beating frantically and when he looked at Tobias, he saw tears on his lashes "And you know the way to where I am going."

Harry looked up when Severus thickly said "Father?"

"Harold, my dear lad, read the other marked places and then begin again, will you?", Tobias voice faded a little at the end and Harry began to read out loud again.

"I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."

Again Tobias squeezed his son's hands and opened his eyes to look at him sadly, unable to say what he wished, but trying to express it anyway. Severus shook his head and pressed his lips together. No, he did not even want to understand.

"Now the overseer is to be above reproach,", when Harry began to read this, Tobias eyes filled with tears and he pulled Severus' hands up to his chest"faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle,", he kissed his son's hands, crying silently at the same time and had Harry looked up, he would have seen tears in Severus eyes, as well as the bitter set of his jaw"not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect."

"My dear, dear boy.", Tobias whispered, kissing Severus hand again, full of regret. Severus did not pull away, it was all he could do.

Harry stopped and took a deep breath before reading the next part.

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

"I'm so sorry, Severus.", Tobias whispered, his eyes closed in fear of his son's judgement, but Severus had his head bent and eyes closed himself, his arms still stretched out on his fathers chest.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil"  
Harry saw that this edition had quotes in the appendix and that Tobias had marked them also. He read from Williams Penn

"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies."

This quote made Harry stop and he looked up at Severus holding his fathers hand, his head bend over their hands. Apparently Severus had pulled his hands back with Tobias hand still clutched between them. Tobias was looking at him with such gratitude and love that Harry just had to look back down, it felt so personal. His voice was thick when he read the last quote, this one from C.S. Lewis

"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind."

This made Tobias sigh in a way that had both Severus and Harry look up. There was such longing in that sigh that Severus squeezed his hand rather hard and looked like a petulant, stubborn child when he demanded

"No! You cannot."

Tobias smiled at him and then asked Harry "Read it all again, my dear, dear lad."

And Harry did, he read it again and again until Tobias stopped him and said "There is a passage I picked for you, Harold."

Harry looked up and saw Tobias smile at him warmly, he requested Harry read James 1:27 and it took Harry a while to find it but then he read it:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans..."

Harry looked up at a smiling Tobias who turned to Severus and said "My boy, I never was religious enough to teach you, but you still fulfilled the scripture by taking the lad. May the Lord bless you two."

Harry felt awkward with Tobias talking about religion and faith, but strangely comforted that he accepted him for Severus with such determination. Harry looked at Severus, unsure of his reaction. His jaw and lips were still set in a stubborn and bitter line but when he spoke he said

"I did not take him for the Lord and I... I only ever craved your acceptance."

Tobias nodded and then patted his sons hand "You have it my boy, you have it now."

Harry was sure that Severus was thinking it was pretty late now, but he did not say a thing. Harry hadn't realized how late it was until Sharon peeked in and announced that it would soon be time for Tobias' evening routine. This seemed to be some sort of code, for Severus nodded at her and soon after prepared to leave.

"I will be back soon, father and if I can I'll bring Harry.", he promised mildly, Tobias nodded and then waved Harry to himself to hug him tightly to his chest.

"Be a good boy and wait for your Papa outside.", he whispered to him before releasing him. Severus wondered about Harry leaving and closing the door behind himself until Tobias waved him to himself. He received a tight hug as well and Tobias kissed his forehead.

"I love you, Severus, my child."

"Father...", Severus said uncomfortably

"I wanted you to know.", Tobias interrupted "I am proud of you. I don't care about your mistakes. You realized what you did wrong and took the right turn in the end. You took the boy."

Severus took a deep breath but looking at his father he knew that was not all, finally Tobias said seriously "Make him your son, Severus."

"He is, father, in all that counts."

"I know you feel that way.", Tobias said quietly, glancing at the door "But if you don't say things and don't make them real... In the end that's what counts, my child. Do not end up like me, on your death bed, trying to convey in the end what I failed to tell you all my life. Make it real now, do not have any regrets, do not make my mistakes."

Tobias practically begged in the end, his eyes desperate.

"Father... I...", Severus did not know how to explain what held him back from formally adopting Harry, or even just taking custody. But more than the complex situation it was his heart that held him back. All of it seemed like empty excuses when it came to the child he considered his son. It was unfair to Harry, he knew "I will, father, I will make him my son one day, I promise."

Tobias seemed to want to argue about the vague time frame but just nodded in the end and they said goodbey to each other.

Severus was quiet the way back and Harry did not have the desire to break the silence. Nor did he know how he would do so acceptably. So he kept quiet when they reached the alley and Severus hugged him again, rather tightly this time. But after they apparated, Severus didn't let go of him, so Harry felt obligated to ask "Papa? Are you alright?"

"I love you, Harry.", Severus whispered back, his voice so thick that Harry felt sure he was crying, while holding fast to the child in his arms.

"Papa?", Harry asked, unsure of how to act and horrified how panicky his voice sounded. But when he felt Severus shoulders tremble, he tightened his arms around Severus' middle and knew there was really only one thing he could say, the only thing that made any sense right now "I love you, too, Papa."

It did seem awkward and he felt unsure about it, but he knew that it had done what he desired when his Papa took a deep breath and let go of him, composing himself. Harry couldn't feel happy right at this moment, that Severus had said he loved him. It felt so desperate and out of the vulnerability to have seen Tobias so near death. Harry supposed Severus must feel cut open right now, his emotions on the forefront and bare. Harry excused him in his mind for saying that because he just wanted to have no regrets, he didn't want to end up like his father. He didn't really mean it. Harry fought hard not to feel disappointed at that.

Severus was standing at the door to Harrys room, looking in on the sleeping child. Harry was lying on his stomach, arms and legs thrown over all sides of the bed, half of his appendages dangling off the edge. Severus tutted at that and arranged the child properly on the bed, leaving him to sleep on his stomach. He tucked his blanket in on all the boy's sides and frowned at the crazy mess of his hair. Harry was drooling open mouthed as well and Severus amused himself imagining what Harry was dreaming about. Probably he was remembering one of the many Hogwarts feasts. But he had his feast cookies to taste them whenever he liked...

The cookies brought back the thought of the box that still resided under Harrys bed. It had felt incredibly good to hear Harry say he loved him. He felt ashamed for needing the reassurance, he was a grown man after all, but his childhood had left him craving and under-confident. Severus carefully sat down on the bed, Harry closing his mouth in reaction to his proximity. Severus looked Harrys face over carefully, imagining how Harry would look with his features instead of James'. Would he love him more if he had the Snape's hooked nose or their "tones", as Tobias had but it. Would he feel surer about himself if Harry had a problem with oily hair the way he had or shallow skin? He slowly put his hand on the messy hair and smiled about his thoughts. They were idiotic, really. Of course none of that would change anything about his feelings.

But knowing he was the fruit of his and Lily's love – would that change it? He contemplated that seriously. He would think of that when he saw him, every time. But even though Harry was not his biological son with Lily, he thought about her whenever Harry showed some sign of relation with her. Snape sighed. Where were all if these thoughts coming from?

The truth was he would probably think of Harry far more possessively and be smug about fathering a child with Lily. He would be far more likely to act as Tobias had done towards him, it was in his blood. The distance that came with having no blood relation to Harry meant that he was more guarded with him. He wasn't likely to show affection, as much as he wasn't likely to hit or abuse him in any way. He swallowed thickly. If he ever lay a hand on this child he would never forgive himself. Especially not after all he knew Harry had been through and how unsure he was of himself still. The box was a steady reminder of that. He vowed he would make that box disappear or turn it into something he would like to see. He stroked Harry hair out of his eyes and cupped his cheek. Harry was breathing deeply, his eyes darting behind his closed lids, he was dreaming. Snape leaned down and whispered into his ear.

"Nice dreams, Harry."

His lips were so close to Harrys face, it would be no effort at all to kiss his cheek but he straightened up and left the room.

Harry really enjoyed his first proper Defense against Dark Arts lessons. Especially after the idiot Lockhart, Remus was like a revelation! Harry felt secretely proud of his Uncle to the point of giddyness, it was starting to annoy his two best friends. Their lesson on boggarts was the one that brought him back down from cloud nine.

"Harry, will you help me pack up?", Lupin asked after and Harry received some weird looks, which he constituted to being about the only one who hadn't faced the boggart. He helped lock the cupboard firmly and turned to the professor. Obviously he hadn't needed the help, so it was clear he wanted to talk to Harry. And sure enough he put a hand on Harrys shoulder.

"I'm sorry I couldn't let you face the dementor."

"But Uncle, why?"

"I believed it would take Voldemorts form or the Basilisk...", Remus answered, looking worried "I didn't want the other kids to face that." Harry felt a burst of anger at this, he had had to face the real thing! "But it turned into a dementor, how very poetic... Fear of fear itself."

Harry cleared his throat, shaking Remus out of his contemplation

"Yeah... I hear mum in her last moments when they come."

Remus lost all colour in his face and looked so lost, that Harry felt bad for saying it. He had known his parents, it must be horrible to hear something like that. Out of guilt and sympathy, Harry hugged him. Remus patted him on the back and they both jumped apart, when they heard the door opening.

"Oh.", it was Lavender Brown "Ron and Hermione told me to bring you, I forgot my bag so I came back..."

She looked curiously at them until Harry had hastily packed his bag and left the room with her.

Remus sat down at one of the desks and sighed. He didn't look up when the door opened again but when the person sat down next to him. It was Severus, looking mildly interested

"Two times, Severus.", he said cheerily, even though he didn't feel cheerful

"Oh, really?", Severus said acting as if he was impressed "I believe we're at four."

"Four?", Remus said "Wow, not bad. But I'll catch you up..."

Severus snorted amused and conjured two glasses with a high dark bottle of something

"Alcohol in the middle of the day, really Severus?", Remus asked

"Just a shot.", Severus said, pouring one shot for each of them and vanishing the bottle. He raised his glas and then said "Lets play a game. Its a one shot game called 'confessions'. You make one confession and then drink."

Remus raised an eyebrow and hadn't even replied when Severus rushed

"My father is dying and I am actually surprised to feel so beat up about it." He drank the glass down immediately, shuddering. Remus thought it was a pretty stupid game, but at the same time felt obligated to answer after such a personal confession. He wondered why Severus had come to him... Maybe it was because he had lost his parents too or because they were the same age or maybe he was just so confused that he was talking to the first person at hand. Remus stared and then closed his eyes, before saying

"Harry just told me he hears his mother dying, when he comes close to a dementor and I just bragged about the hug I received in comfort from him. Comfort I should be giving him." He downed his glas, eyes closed in pain over the truth of this statement.

"We failed him, didn't we?", Severus whispered

"Me more than you. I was still friends with them when they died..."

Severus flashed his eyes angrily "Just because I wasn't friends with her that moment doesn't excuse me practically being at fault for her death and then not even caring about her son, who I orphaned!"

"You did not.", Lupin said, staring at the desk between them "It doesn't matter, its not a contest of who is allowed to feel more miserable about himself... We both failed..."

Severus pressed his lips together and rolled the glas in his fingers

"I'm sorry, Severus.", Snape looked up at him "You are going through a hard time and I am heaping guilt on you."

Severus shook his head "Don't flatter yourself, I'm perfectly capable of feeling thoroughly miserable about any choice subject without your help."

Lupin gave a dry laugh and leaned back in his chair "My parents died when I was still in school. You feel horribly lost without them, as if you have nowhere to go now."

Snape snorted "My father has been dependant on me for more than a decade. And before that I could never count on him, what do you think why I joined Him?"

Remus hummed a bit and then asked "Do you love your father?"

Snape shrugged, looking longingly into his glass "I care if he lives or dies – but I wouldn't want you to die either and that doesn't mean I love you."

"Now you flatter me.", Lupin grinned and then turned serious "Do you think you can love Harry if you don't even love your father?"

Snape wanted to snap at him but thought about the question, he turned the glass in his hand and answered "I do not love my father, I don't think so. There is too much history. But I do not hate him anymore either, I think I have forgiven him. And if you believe in God or Karma or anything like that, you could say that it was me caring for him, even though I did not love him, that led to me being able to take Harry. I understand how Harry feels, I know how broken he is, because I've been there. But I do not carry that anger or resentment any more, I've moved past it. It shows Harry a way to deal with all of it in a healthy way. I hate the Dursleys, I hate what they did to him and I will continue to punish them. But I do not want Harry to live in the past."

Lupin stared at him and then gave a bitter smile "I wish, Severus, I wish we could have been friends earlier."

Snape stared right back and then said "Who said we are friends now? I'd rather call it an alliance."

Remus smiled and shook his head "Call it what you will, you have gained my friendship and I am a loyal friend."

Remus raised his empty glass to him and then left the room, leaving Snape to think why this last statement made him feel more uncomfortable than proud.

Sirius had been spying on the inhabitants of the castle for a while now and he finally decided to put his plan into action. He trotted slowly and with a limp up to Hagrids hut and whimpered. Hagrid turned to look at him and he reacted the way Sirius had expected

"Hey, you poor creature, what's your problem? Hurt your paw, have ya? Come here, come here."

And soon he was playing outside with Fang, who remembered his scent and didn't mind having his old friend back. It took another few weeks until he finally saw his target trudging back to the castle all alone. He whimpered again and the boy spun around, his broomstick over his shoulder.

"You again!", Harry said in recognition and when the scrawny dog came sniffing and started to beg, even Harry felt bad for him "Poor guy, are you hungry?"

The Dog barked and looked up with large puppy dog eyes.

"Oh well, I can bring you something from dinner if you wait here. Alright?"

The dog barked again and let Harry pet him on the head. Harry went to dinner and packed his plate full, hungry after the Quidditch practice. He told Ron and Hermione about the dog and all three of them went to feed it. The black dog happily jumped on Ron, licking his face. It made all three of them laugh.

"He's so cute.", Hermione said petting him "Do you think he's Hagrids?"

Harry, who now felt stupid for ever having been scared of the dog, answered "No, I already asked."

"Poor thing, he seems to be all alone."

"We could take him.", Ron said "Bring him food and play with him. It'd be fun."

Harry and Hermione nodded "What do we call him?"

"Blacky?", Ron suggested and they both rolled their eyes "What? I never get to name pets."

"I wonder why.", Hermione mumbled

"If we do this, he should at least be 'Black' and not 'Blacky'", Harry said

"Alright, I can live with 'Black'", Ron agreed and Hermione just shrugged "I'll train him to chase Crookshanks."

"You won't! That's so mean!", Hermione whined and Harry had to intervene again to stop an argument before it erupted.

Harry was sitting on the sofa, quietly talking to Ophion, when the flames in Snapes quarters turned green

"Good evening, Harry.", the Deputy Headmistress greeted, Harry nodded and said

"Good evening, Professor. Papa is in his lab, finishing up his potion."

Minerva smiled at him and knocked on the lab door, a moment later the door was thrown open

"What?", Snape asked in a bad mood, scowling

"Is that how you react when poor Harry needs something?", Minerva scolded

"'Poor Harry' knows better than to disturb me while I'm brewing.", Snape countered "What do you need, make it quick."

"Freeze your potion or somehing, I need you."

Snape scowled and ignored Harrys giggles "You mean, put a stasis charm on them?"

"Whatever."

"This better be important, Deputy.", Snape scowled and turned to put the charms on the ingredients and cauldrons "You'll be alright, Harry?"

"Yes, Sir.", Harry said obediently and stroked Ophions lazy head "Even though Ophions no good company tonight."

"You'll manage, I'm sure.", Snape said unconcerned and let Minerva floo back to her office first. He followed soon after and asked immediately "So? What do you need so urgently?"

"Tea.", Minerva said pointing to a service on her table "We haven't had any in a while."

"I should have known.", Snape said and turned back to the fire place

"Come on, you're here now! Stay and have a chat with an old colleague."

Snape snorted but sat down

"So, how are you dealing with our new addition to staff?"

"Lupin? We're alright. He gives Harry another person to look for advice. I guess that's good."

"Indeed, it is.", Minerva smiled, serving Severus favorite biscuits – double dark chocolate "He hasn't changed much since your school days."

"Do you think so? I feel like he's changed a lot. It seems like he has a lot more character and back bone than then."

"Really?", Minerva said calmly, sipping her tea "No, I just think you may see him in a more favorable light because this time he's on your team. Or rather Harry's team." Snape raised a sceptical eyebrow "You know, that's every parents weak spot: their precious little fiend."

Snape cleared his throat "Harry is not my child, he is my ward."

"Keep telling yourself that.", Minerva said, raising an eyebrow herself. They stared at each other a moment, before Snape relented

"I... I think I need your advice, Minerva."

At this Minerva raised both her eyebrows in astonishment

"My father said it too... He feels I should adopt Harry, make it formal. Do you think that's necessary?"

Minerva cocked her head and said "Normally I'd say its first and foremost a question if you feel like its time. But I think you two have grown so close to each other, you could already be called father and son" Snape flushed red at that and sipped his tea again "With Harry of course, everything is more complicated. Its not only your precarious situation with the Death Eaters but also the way in which his parents died – by His hand. Being adopted by a Death Eater, even one who is only a spy, might be problematic for his psyche. And his parents sacrificed themselves for his survival, it will be hard for him to place you as his father. He will feel like he's betraying James."

"I think he already does.", Severus says "He has often slipped up, trying to call me 'Dad', but always prefers 'Papa' to it. I never realized it was James' competition that made me dislike being called anything but 'Dad'... But I think Lupin might help with that. Harry'll feel more connected to James through him and Lupin can assure him he's doing him no dishonor in choosing me as a parental figure."

Minerva hummed in confirmation "Do you feel like he needs reassurance of your relationship? An adoption might be a good way to give him just that."

Snape gave a heart felt sigh "You have no idea!"

Minerva smiled "Seems like I hit a soure spot."

Snape launched into a tale of Harrys insecurities and ended with "I feel so helpless, I don't know how to deal with all of that."

Minerva nodded sadly "We are not trained for that, I am afraid... Have you thought about professional help?"

"A shrink?", Snape sounded rather put off "He's already accused me of thinking him 'mental'"

Minerva pressed her lips together "It would be good for you as well." when Snape wanted to protest she talked over him "Remember all you have had to deal with your father. And now he's in such a state and it must all be coming back to you. And you would be setting a good example for Harry. A shrink would help you to deal with the loss of your father and any lingering resentment you have towards him. And it'd show Harry that you don't have to be a basket case to go seek help."

Snape snorted at the 'basket case' comment but nodded "I'll think about it."

"While you do, you can tell me about it. How was your last visit with Tobias?"

"Harry went with me...", Snape struggled to continue but Minervas reassuring smile kept him going "He's such a wonder, that boy. You should have heard him. He read to father from the scripture. It sounded so innocent... Tobias had picked a few sections, mostly about his own regrets and death. It was hard to listen to..."

Minerva reached over the table and squeezed his hand in understanding

"I don't love him, but I don't want to loose him... He's always been there and I can't imagine life without his annoying presence...", Snape sighed warming his hands on the cup "But Harry... he was wonderful. Like a little angel, sent from heaven for me to cleanse me from my sins."

Minerva sighed as well "It is rather ironic... Her child to be your saint?"

He laughed bitterly at that and said "Poetic justice. Lily would have laughed at that."

"Lily would have loved to see you two together.", Minerva amended softly "She loved both of you and it would have warmed her heart to see you united."

Snape didn't know what to reply to that.

When he returned that night he found Harry curled up on the sofa, snoring, glasses askew. Severus tutted and tried to wake him but he didn't react to any of it. Snape stared at him for a moment, before carefully picking him up. He saw Ophion raise a lazy head at him but he seemed to consider Snape as safe and laid back down. Severus laid Harry on his bed and carefuly detangled Ophion from his wrist. The snake hissed angrily at being woken and separated from his best heat source.

"Be quiet!" Snape ordered "Its for your own good."

The snake didn't seem to agree and tried to strike at him as he safely put it in its terrarium. Snape looked rather put out by the attack and turned his back on the angry little creature. He turned to Ophion's master who had curled up on himself. Snape carefully made him ready for bed and tucked him in.

"I do spoil you, don't I?", Snape said to the sleeping teen "But after what those horrid relatives of yours did, how could I not?"

And there it was, his decision was made up. He'd visit a shrink, if only for Harry's sake...

It was a few weeks hence after brewing that Snape took Harry into the living room with him and opened the discussion

"I've been seeing a shrink."

Harry blinked up at him and cautiosly asked "Why?"

Snape sat down and rubbed his face, he hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but how else did you say something like this?

"Well, Tobias... my father is dying and... after all the problems we had in my childhood... Minerva suggested I should visit one to help me deal with his death. Sharon gave me a few contacts and I double checked them with the ministry, there was one Squib and I went to her...", he realized he was rambling and closed his mouth. He hadn't anticipated how scared he would be about telling his ward about this. How much he was afraid of being judged and loosing the child's admiration. He rubbed his hands together nervously.

"Well... I think that's a good idea.", Harry said innocently "It must be hard for you with grandfather dying..."

So simple. He would have never thought how a few simple, childish words could free someone. He would have laughed if he didn't fear he'd scare Harry

"Yes... Well, Marty said she'd like to meet you."

"Marty?", Harry laughed "What kind of name is that?"

Severus smiled "Its a nickname, she doesn't want to tell me what her real first name is because its so embarrassing..."

"Have you guessed?"

"Oh yes.", Severus laughed, more about Harry not thinking badly of him than about Martys name "She won't say."

Harry grinned and then asked "Why would she want to see me?"

"Well, I obviously told her about you and a bit about your past. I had to explain how I came to care for you.", Severus explained. Now, this part of the plot was precarious, he didn't want to let Harry know the main reason for his going to the doctor was him "So after our first few sessions she said she'd like to meet you and talk a bit."

"Hmm.", Harry said, "Like a family session?"

Severus smiled at the spot on description "Yes, I believe so."

"OK.", Harry readily agreed, believing to be helping his Papa "Did it help so far?"

"Yes, surprisingly it helped a lot.", Severus admitted and leaned back in his armchair, stretching his legs out "I feel much lighter after talking to her. The good thing about her approach is, she tells you why you feel a certain way. She is very analytical and not so..."

"Mushy?", Harry suggested

"I would have preferred the term 'sentimental', but yes.", Severus laughed and thought back to their sessions.

It was true, talking to Marty had helped a lot. He realized now why he felt a certain way. She had even explained to him what he had never been able to explain to himself: Why he had taken care of his father, when he fell ill. Of course, every decent person would have done so, but he didn't consider himself a decent person. At least not then, when he had just turned his back to the Death Eaters and his father was a liability to his spying. She had explained that deep down he still felt responsible for his parents' failed marriage. If he hadn't been born maybe Tobias would have never realized Eileen was a witch. So when his dying mother asked him to take care of Tobias after she was gone, it was his own guilt that responded. Later when he saw Tobias helpless and in need of care, it awoke with the desire to repent. He was trying to pay his father back for destroying his life. Snape had shook his head at that but known in his heart that she was right. As sick as it was, he did feel responsible for destroying his parents happy life.

He sighed, knowing that had put a lot of his actions into perspective and he had asked Marty if she believed that he had taken Harry too, because he felt guilty about the role he played in his parents' death. Marty had given him a sad smile that said it all. He had felt horrible in that chair in front of his shrink, realizing that everything good he had done had come out of guilt. But she had told him something that soothed his conscience: It didn't matter why, as long as he was doing the right thing, it didn't matter what it had been born out of. When she said that he remembered Lily once saying that the most beautiful things are born out of the most disgusting source. Like Lilies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less action and more soul searching in this one - I am really proud of this chapter, I like the conversations but you tell me what you think!
> 
> Did you like Sev's and Remus' interaction?
> 
> What did you think about Tobias and the bible quotes? I have to tell you people, I'm no Christian, I included that because religion plays a big part in Tobias' story and it seemed logical to me that he would grasp at it in the last time. And I won't kill him to soon, don't worry.  
> Marty will be introduced in the next chapter, so be excited about that! :)


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is dedicated to The Lonely God With a Box because he found the Easter Egg in chapter three.  
It was that "Private Advanced Potions Application" abbreviates to "PAPA" ;)

"I loved the scene when he pulls off the mask and they have the last talk!", Harry said excitedly and Marty grinned  
"I must confess I wiped away a tear at the end."  
Severus leaned back, bored to death, listening to them talk about their favourite movies. He had expected something deeper, but he wasn't the specialist here, was he? He took the chance to look Marty over. She was a rather plump woman, with a round face that seemed to have the understanding etched into it. He had inwardly recoiled when he first met her. He couldn't stand so much goodness. But while he talked about his life her eyes had turned hard and analytical. She had looked at him the way he looked at some of his potions. Just one little tweak and he could set it right... That's when he knew she was the one – the one to heal him and his boy. But now he could really appreciate her kindness, for she showered it on Harry: laughing at his jokes, nodding in understanding at his explanation and smiling for no apparent reason at all. He still felt bored.  
"And I never understood how they couldn't both survive!", Harry whined "Aunt Petunia used to love that movie but I locked myself in the cupboard to escape it."  
Severus saw a glint in her eyes, that vanished instantly as she steered the conversation into other waters  
"So, no romance?" Harry laughed and she continued "And fantasy?"  
"I loved fantasy.", Harry said "But I couldn't watch anything with wizards in it because Dudley wasn't allowed to. No magic, that was the rule. I once brought back The Lord Of The Rings from the library and had to keep it out of the house because there is a wizard in it."  
Harry rolled his eyes at that and Severus saw how hard it was for Marty to just smile. She was kneading the little fluff animal she normally gave to her patients quite mercilessly. At that moment she glanced at the clock.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry Harry, but we need to stop here.", she said "But I'd love to see you again and talk some more."  
Harry smiled and stood up to shake hands  
"Will you wait outside? I still have a little conversation with your father."  
Harry blinked confused and then gave Severus an unsure look "Father?"  
Marty smiled warmly "He is your father in all but name, don't you agree?"  
Harry gave a non-committal noise and fled the room.  
"Was that necessary?", Severus asked, glancing at the door  
"Yes, it certainly was.", Marty said easily "You have a wonderful son, congratulations."  
"Don't even try it with me."  
Marty grinned "How do you ever want to feel up to being a father to that child if you cannot even use the proper terms?"  
Severus raised an eyebrow but refrained from commenting further  
"He does have a troubled past, poor boy.", Marty said, turning sober "But nothing too severe."  
"Nothing too severe?", Severus said disbelievingly but before he could start ranting, Marty said  
"I deal with this every day, Severus. You can't tell me you expected me to be surprised or even shocked at what happened to him. I know its horrible, but its hardly the worst case I ever worked on. It will be hard for you to deal with but if you pull yourself together you can do it. I will help you and this is the good news: he's not past the point of no return. He is young and he is incredibly strong. He will manage, just don't expect it all to happen over night."  
Severus nodded, appeased by the praise she gave Harry and feeling annoyed about it in the next instant. That woman was playing with him!  
"And another thing: I will not counsel him if you don't tell him the truth. You will tell him that he's here for himself and not for you. Is that clear?"  
Severus raised an eyebrow at her strict tone but said "Yes."  
"So, now to the young man at hand.", she pulled a writing pad from her lap that he hadn't even noticed her writing in the whole time "He has, of course, severe issues with father figures in his life. He will need a lot of support and different people to lean on. There are the typical insecurities that come from prolonged neglect and abuse. You will have to deal with emotional outbursts as he tries to adjust to the new situation. The more comfortable he feels the more likely he is to lash out, to test his boundaries. If he doesn't, if he plays the little angel, that's when you should feel worried..."  
"Wait, you picked all of this only from a conversation about movies and books?"  
"I know how to take a hint, Severus.", she teased "He – like many abused children – uses code to deliver their message. Those children will seek out help, the only problem is, they do it in code form. For example, a child that is sexually abused by someone will try to avoid being alone with that person, he will drop hints, make ridiculous excuses, trying to make the other person second guess him and investigate. He will try to keep other children, siblings for example, away from danger, even to the point of sacrificing himself."  
"I am supposed to read that code how?"  
"You're not.", Marty said "I am. You are supposed to make him talk openly, don't play the game with him. He should feel comfortable enough to confide in you, you told me he already did once. I will wheedle out the details and talk to him about it. I will encourage him to confide in you. If he needs a safe place to talk to you about it, he can do it here."  
"Or at Hogwarts or at home.", Snape added but Marty shook her head  
"He sees those places as a safe haven, Severus. He does not want to spoil them, remembering those horrid Muggles."  
Severus leaned back, feeling exhausted  
"Don't worry, it will all clear up. You did the right thing to ask for help, especially in these hard times. How is your father doing?"  
"Worse by day.", he answered shortly, not meeting her eyes  
"Don't you think he's waiting for something?"  
Severus raised his eyes at that, a guarded expression on his face. Suddenly he remembered one of the verses his father had Harry read every time they went to visit.  
"I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."  
He shuddered but shook his head before admitting quietly "I'm not ready yet."  
"I know.", Marty said with empathy, smiling sadly "But you will be."

"She's cool.", Harry said, when Severus joined him again "I like her."  
"Hmm...", Severus gave Harry his coat and took his own. While they were walking to the apparation point, he said "Would you like to talk to her on a regular basis?"  
Harry frowned but Severus jumped in with more explanation "It did help me a lot and I understand it must be hard for you to live with me suddenly and then have to deal with the death of another person."  
Harry blinked up at him but didn't say anything  
"You realize it does not mean you're crazy."  
"I know.", Harry said quietly and pursed his lips "Its just... Vernon always said shrinks are for weak and stupid people and that they're charlatans."  
"He would.", Severus said "It doesn't need a shrink to analyse him."  
Harry looked up questioningly and Severus reeled down "Father issues, definitely homophobic, probably because he has hidden homoerotic fantasies. He is a control freak who needs everything put in a neat row the way he orders it. He cannot deal with things out of order, anomalies. He needs the security that structure gives him desperately. He idealizes his wife and son because thus it reflects good back on himself."  
Harry stared at him open mouthed "I stopped listening after 'homoerotic fantasies'"  
Severus laughed at that and pulled him into a hug to apparate. When they landed in the forbidden forest, Severus finished his assessment "And he is a fat, abusive, dimwitted bas-"  
"Papa, language.", Harry grinned  
"Pardon me.", Severus said easily, turning his clothes back to robes and handing Harry his invisibility cloak "I loose my cool with those people."  
"They're not worth it.", Harry's voice came somewhere to his right and ended that conversation  
"How is your correspondence with Tobias?"  
"Oh, he tells me hilarious things!", Harry answered happily "He told me the one time you made the toilet bite him..."  
Severus snorted at the memory  
"How did you do that?"  
"Accidental Magic, I was angry at him.", Severus explained, trying to give Harry as much attention as he was giving their environment.  
"Hey, do you think Ophion needs a... mate?"  
Severus stopped in his tracks at that and asked incredulously "What is it with you and relationships?"  
He heard Harry shuffle his feet "I just thought... Well Hedwig meets her kind all the time while she's out flying. But I'm the only one who has a snake around here."  
"You are not getting another pet.", Severus decided firmly and then joked "You could always go down to the chamber."  
"That's morbid, Da- Papa!", Harry complained "If you feel lonely I don't drag you to a cemetery."  
Severus laughed a little at that but then said "I would offer to take you or have Hagrid take you to the Forbidden Forest to make more snake friends. But I fear that will not be possible while Black is at large."  
He could practically feel Harry pout at that  
"But its not that bad to visit the Chamber once... Make it a Potions Project, to harvest some ingredients..."  
"We could harvest ingredients in the forbidden forest as well."  
"But the chamber is free of raging mad men.", Snape said and opened the gate for them, glaring at the dementors in the distance "Those remind me, we still have Patronus lessons."  
"What lesson?"  
Severus closed the gate securely after himself and turned to where he supposed Harry was standing  
"Patronus. The charm that repels dementors."  
"Oh yeah!", Harry said suddenly and then suggested "Do you mind if I have those with Uncle Remus?"  
"Why?", Severus asked sharply  
"Well we'll see each other during Potions and Advanced Potions, visiting grandfather and... counseling.", Harry said "I'd like to have time for Uncle Remus as well..."  
Severus wanted to forbid it, it was on the tip of his tongue. But even though Harry was still invisible he could just imagine the disappointment spreading over his face. He had heard the uncertainty in his voice. Severus gave a short sigh and started walking towards the Entrance, trying to sound casual as he said "Sure, he'll be thrilled."  
"Yay!", Harry said and Severus saw the cloak lift of his feet as he gave a little jump "Thanks!"  
"Yes, yes. Off to your dormitory, little pest."  
He heard Harry's footsteps fade away in the distance and shook his head about himself.

* * *

"Minerva!", Severus shouted across the room after the teachers conference, McGonagall turned around, he came up to her and waited until they couldn't be overheard "How am I supposed to tell him?"  
Minerva gave a sympathetic smile "Shall I?"  
"No...", Severus said "I do see the sense in it, but he won't. He'll say he could take the invisibility cloak."  
"Offer him something equally interesting.", Minerva suggested while they both walked down the corridor  
"Like what?"  
"Any progress with your potions project? You might do something exciting for that?"  
"We could experiment, yes... I'd like to go down to the Chamber, but he's not excited about that...", Severus sighed when they reached McGonagall's office "He has been looking forward to this since he heard about Hogsmeade visits."  
Minerva sighed as well "I know, but his safety has top priority."  
Snape nodded, leaving her standing there. As soon as he reached the Entrance Hall, he saw the boy they were discussing talking to his friends after dinner and he barked "Potter, come here!"  
Harry flinched at the raised voice but complied and came trotting down the Hall towards the stairs  
"Yes, Sir."  
"Follow me.", Snape led him to his office and closed the door securely after him "Would you like to do the experiments this weekend?"  
Harry looked up with shining eyes "Oh! That'd be so cool, can we blow something up?"  
"I'll see what I can do.", Snape said with a small smile at Harry's boyish enthusiasm for explosions.  
"Ron and Hermione wanted to help, too. To polish up their grades, you know.", Harry grinned when Snape raised an eyebrow at that.  
"I... am not sure they will want to go on this weekend...", Snape began and Harry blinked before saying  
"Oh, its Hogsmeade! Of course, how could I forget? Can we do the experiment next week then?"  
"Harry, what I'm trying to say is... You can't go."  
Snape saw Harry's expression crumple into disappointed so fast, it was almost comical  
"But why?"  
"We just had a conference and all your teachers agree that you should stay within Hogwarts' wards... Sirius Black..."  
"I don't care about Black!", Harry shouted suddenly "He's already destroyed my life once, why should he be allowed to interfere now? And why didn't you say anything? What do I care about my teachers, you're my guardian!"  
Snape took a deep breath "I happen to agree with them."  
"What?", Harry said incredulously "Why?"  
"Your safety is more important than a visit to Hogsmeade..."  
"We go through the forest every time we visit grandpa."  
"Yes, but you accompany me, you're under the cloak!"  
"Exactly, why can't we do that again?", Harry asked, looking hopeful  
"Harry, you know why I can't claim you as my... ward in front of the whole world. I have a role to play. I cannot possibly take you to Hogsmeade."  
"Yes you could!", Harry whined "Like always, I'll wear the cloak and I promise I'll stay by your side."  
"Harry, you're thirteen. How much fun would you have at the places I frequent in Hogsmeade? I don't usually go to Honeydukes or Zonkos..."  
Harry pursed his lips "What about Uncle Remus? He could take me, no one would think twice about that."  
At this Severus had to try hard to not press his lips together "No, absolutely not."  
"Why?", Harry asked incredulously  
"Because... Your godfather was friends with Sirius Black back in the day. I do not trust him with your safety."  
"What?", Harry said completely shocked "But I stayed with him during the summer."  
"And I brought you back as soon as Black escaped."  
"Yes but...", Harry realized his argument wasn't going anywhere and tried a different route "What about McGonagall or any other teacher?"  
"Harry, do you honestly believe I would entrust anyone but myself or the headmaster with your life when a mass murderer is running around to get you?"  
Harry looked at him with a pained expression "Why do I have to suffer because of him? I didn't do anything and I'm being punished! Its so unfair."  
Severus ached to point out that life wasn't fair, but he thought that would go down like oil in fire.  
"I want to be like everybody else.", Harry begged and it cut deep into Severus heart to hear this sound from him "I just want to be normal."  
"Harry.", Severus began, completely unsure of how to proceed but he didn't have to, because Harry turned around and fled into his room, slamming the door shut. Severus stood there, arms wrapped protectively in front of his chest, staring at the door and once again feeling like nothing in this world could have ever prepared him for this.  
He actually agreed with Harry, it wasn't his fault and he shouldn't have to pay for it. But what was he supposed to do? Let the boy go and have fun, while risking his life? Severus felt cold dread at the very thought of what Black would do to him. And there was the matter of the other students who would be put to risk as well. The last time Black killed one of his adversaries 12 innocent people died.  
He let Harry have some space before he knocked softly at the door and entered. The room was empty. The naked fear that caught up with him at the look of the made up bed and cold stone floor, completely devoid of one Harry Potter, was something he had never experienced before.  
"Harry?", he chocked out, his eyes darting around the room. There wasn't enough space for Harry to fit under the bed and he couldn't have left, Snape knew. But the fear of what Black would do to him was still fresh in his mind, he turned to search the rest of his quarters when he heard a creak behind him. He turned around and stared at the wardrobe. Surely not...  
Surely yes – when he opened it, Harry was sitting there, knees drawn to his chest, chin resting atop of them. He looked up under his bangs with a "Something wrong?" expression.  
"Come out of there.", Snape said, sounding more irritated than he felt. He was relieved, really. But a big portion of how he felt right now was confused and afraid. Afraid of what would come to light now. He gave Harry a hand and pulled him onto his feet. Instead of letting go, Severus held on to the small, clammy hand and guided the teen to his bed. He folded back the covers automatically and didn't see the surprised look he received from Harry, who climbed in and let himself be tucked under the covers.  
Severus sat down beside him and asked  
"What were you doing in there?"  
Harry shrugged  
"Do you stay in there often?"  
Harry shook his head and when Snape's brow furrowed at his lack of verbal response he said "It was the first time."  
"How...", Severus had wanted to ask 'how did you get in there?', but that wasn't really what he wanted to know. His thoughts were jumbled up and it was hard to clear his head "Why did you go in there, what were you thinking?"  
Harry looked up at Severus and then down at his covers, he began chewing his lip but didn't answer  
"I am just curious, Harry.", Severus said quietly, his guarded expression and quiet voice belied what he had said. Still, Harry knew, every time he had confided in Severus, he had not let him down. He had believed in him and tried to help him. And this was no big deal.  
"I don't know... I kinda feel safe in there."  
Severus nodded, without really understanding "How did you know you would feel that way?"  
"It looked like my cupboard.", Harry whispered, realizing it himself in that moment and he shrugged again. Severus sat there, stunned by this.  
"Did I...", Snape stopped and swallowed "Did I make you feel... scared?"  
Harry blinked, surprised and then shook his head "No... I was angry and I... it just felt like... every time the Dursleys would just dump me at Mrs. Figgs, it felt like that. They would take Dudley somewhere fun and I'd stay back."  
"So you went back to the cupboard.", Severus sighed, more to himself than to Harry, feeling horrified at what he had involuntarily caused.  
"Its not that bad, really.", Harry tried, feeling uncomfortable "It was... yeah, I felt like that but... I just saw the cupboard and sat in there. It must be hard for you to understand, but the cupboard was always mine. It was where I was safe and where I could do whatever I wanted. I wasn't in anyone's way and no one looked at me funny."  
Harry shrugged again, not able to put words to the feeling,  
Severus hid his face in his hands. He had done that. He had made Harry feel unwanted, freakish and like a broom that was kept out of the way and out of sight.  
"Papa?", Harry asked, feeling overwhelmed with the whole situation "Its really not that bad. If you want, I'll never go in there again."  
"That is not the point Harry.", Severus said, forcing himself out of his own misery to face the boy "I don't want you to feel that way. You are not allowed to go out with your peers, yes. But not because they don't want you there or I don't want you to have fun or because you don't deserve it. Its only because it would be unsafe. The moment Black is caught, you'll be able to join them, I promise."  
Harry nodded, still looking disappointed  
"I know its unfair.", Snape continued "But all I want is for you to be safe, well and unharmed."  
Harry nodded, understanding that, when he compared it to the way he felt for his friends and Severus and Uncle Remus. Snape put a hand on top of his covers where his chest was.  
"And you have seen the village already, right?" Harry nodded "Now, for the cupboard."  
Harry raised his shoulders, trying to make himself vanish into the covers  
"I can understand, after your explanation, why confined spaces would make you feel safe. I want you to try and not use that cupboard. If you feel unwell, in any sense of the word, I want you to confront it and tell me. Alright?", Harry looked unsure, his expression extremely vulnerable and scared. But he was a Gryffindor, he nodded. "But if you really feel the need to hide, then you can stay there for a little while."  
Severus didn't know if it was the right thing to say. This whole cupboard deal sounded a lot like his own addiction and allowing Harry access sounded like an incredibly stupid idea. But at the same time he wanted for Harry to have at least one spot that gave him this comfort and safety he craved. Maybe some day it would extend to his room and then to their home. And if Harry really needed that to feel secure then he would at least like to know where to find the child...  
Harry stared at him and then he said, disbelieve clear in his voice "You would let me stay there?"  
"As long as you need.", Snape said and restrained himself from moving, doing anything else than saying "Of course I'd wish for you to call me rather than stay alone in the dark."  
"The dark isn't scary.", Harry whispered "Light is. It shows you everything."  
Snape closed his eyes and took a trembling breath. Those simple words were so true, he had felt this time and again. Whenever he had tried to hide the marks of his fathers rage, whenever he tried to make friends despite his shabby appearance. Whenever he felt like everybody could see right through him, see his weakness displayed for the whole world to see. Whenever he wished that his classmates would at least look away, if they wouldn't stop the bullies. Whenever he hid the Dark Mark or when he had to stand in front of Dumbledore, giving him a report after a Death Eater meeting and enduring his sympathy. Light made people see everything, the dark was like a warm blanket, hiding your faults and misgivings.  
But this child, of mere thirteen years should not know this. He closed his eyes, trying and failing to hide from all of this. He felt the warm small hand he had grabbed earlier on top of his and looked up right into Lily's gorgeous green eyes. He leaned down and connected their foreheads together. Close up he could see all the fine lines in the green eyes he had always loved so much. He was pressing his own forehead on top of the famous scar, hiding it away, pressing Harry's bangs between them. His own long hair had fallen around their faces, curtaining them.  
Harry smiled, Severus could see the little crinkles forming around his almond shaped eyes. Severus smiled back. He didn't know why they were smiling at each other. There was no good reason to smile, there was reason to cry. He leaned back and said  
"Good night, child."  
Harry cocked his head and answered "Good night, Papa."  
And that was all.

* * *

Harry had spent the first Hogsmeade weekend visit with Lupin. As all his classmates were gone, they could both work on the Patronus charm in peace. Severus had taken the opportunity to give Tobias a short visit before looking in on Privet Drive. He was quite pleased with the way that both Dursleys looked twitchy and anxious, trying to avoid each others eyes. He did not give them another dose of his little therapy session but enjoyed the fruit of his labour. While Petunia was cooking he came up to her and blew into her ear, which made her jump and drop the bowl she was holding. The crash had Vernon dashing into the kitchen to find his wife a nervous wreck alongside shards of china. Severus had mercilessly looked on as he tried to tend to her and get her to get up. He could not bring up the energy to feel any sympathy for the cruel woman, bleeding from small cuts on her palms. He looked down at her disdainfully. She did not deserve sympathy, care or mercy. She deserved to suffer for what she had done to his son. And he would make her suffer, again and again, until she lost her grip on her perfect little life and it slipped, fell and broke to pieces like the china at her feet.  
He turned away and apparated back into the forest, curious to feel no satisfaction at what he had done that day. Maybe it had just not been enough, he should have done something to Vernon as well, he thought with a bitter expression. As he entered the Hogwarts grounds, giving the dementors a cold look, he took a deep breath. When he looked up at the castle he automatically looked for the window of the Defense classroom. The light was still on. He still couldn't understand how Dumbledore trusted Lupin completely. Even though he had grown closer to the man, he still could not trust him like that. Because of that same spark of worry, he decided to pick Harry up from Lupin's classroom. He had had enough Patronus practice for one day. As he entered the castle he saw one of his colleagues going up the stairs.  
"Aurora!", he called and the astronomy teacher turned around to look down at him, he caught up with her and said "I'm going up to Lupin's, may I accompany you for a while?"  
She smiled and nodded "I don't remembered you and him being friends back in the day."  
Severus looked surprised "You remember me from Hogwarts?"  
She gave an amused smile "Oh yes, you were the Slytherin kid everyone told me to look out for."  
He raised an eyebrow "You were... in Ravenclaw I think?"  
She nodded "Two years below you."  
"You remember.", he remarked again, feeling surprised by this, she shrugged  
"The Serum was a very... thoughtful present."  
"I thought if we invade into your personal space like that, we should give you a peace offering."  
She laughed at that, which surprised him again. She had never seemed like the person to take any kid of interest in him, yet she had remembered him from back then. In all the years they had worked together, they had barely crossed paths and she still laughed at a joke from him, that frankly wasn't that good. They had reached the Defense classroom and heard Harry and Remus talking inside.  
"You take an interest in that boy's welfare.", she said quietly "That is quite... remarkable."  
"Do you think so? I think everyone with a living, beating heart should.", he said, rather more coldly than he wanted, she locked eyes with him and regarded him for a moment  
"But they seldom do, that's why its remarkable.", she said, not breaking eye contact "Its funny, how abused, battered children always find a way together, no matter how long it takes or how much they try to avoid it. There is always something that binds them to each other, they always find and recognize one another..."  
"What...?", he said, feeling confused, but at that moment Lupin opened the door and looked surprised to find two of his colleagues outside  
"Oh, err, hello.", Remus said looking between them, Aurora looked at him and shortly said  
"Excuse me, I was on my way to my tower, Severus, Remus, Mr. Potter.", nodding at each of them, she left them standing there and took the stairs up. All three men looked after her until Harry said  
"Hi, Papa."  
Severus snapped out of his reverie about Aurora's mysterious words and looked at Harry "Did you get some work done?"  
Harry beamed at him and confidently said "Expecto Patronum!"  
Silver mist protruded from the wand and hovered in front of them for a while, Severus looked impressed  
"Good for a first lesson, huh?", Remus said proudly, ruffling Harry's hair  
"Excellent, I would say.", Severus said, with a mild expression on his face "But no wonder, the boy is talented. Actually I doubt you had to do much."  
Remus smiled at Severus' teasing "Yeah? And I think our little genius here is going to surpass you soon as well."  
Harry grinned at that and Severus rolled his eyes "Come, Harry. Your hyperactive friends will want to stuff you with sweets."  
Harry didn't need to be asked twice and he practically jumped besides him all the way up to Gryffindor tower, babbling excitedly about his day and all the stories Uncle Remus had told him about his parents and the marauders.  
"Once they even glued a smurf hat onto Professor Flitwick's head. It took him a week to get it off.", Harry recounted happily, Snape remembered that incident and shook his head to hide his amusement. Lily had provided that hat and it had been innocent fun that even the Charms Professor had found funny.  
"I believe Filius rather liked the hat or he would have gotten it off sooner."  
"Really?", Harry laughed "I have to tip off Fred and George."  
Severus smiled at that, feeling just a little guilty. When they reached the Portrait Hole they were not alone.  
"Professor!", Percy shouted, the moment he saw him "Its the Fat Lady, someone ripped her Portrait!"  
Snape scowled at that pronouncement and ordered "Get the headmaster!" before he wet up to the slashed Portrait. He felt the students' eyes on him as he studied it. A flicks of his wand showed him what he had expected and soon Dumbledore reached them.  
"Severus? What happened?"  
"I don't know, all I can say is that it was damaged by non-magical means..."  
"It was that horrible person, your headmastership.", Peeves cackled, delighted with the students' frightened expressions "The man they are all searching for: Sirius Black."  
Some of the girls shrieked at that and Dumbledore immediately ordered "Prefects, get all students down to the Great Hall. Severus, bring your Slytherins."  
With that he whipped out his wand and three identical white birds appeared and flew off as soon as Dumbledore had given them his message "Sirius Black entered the castle, bring your house down to the Great Hall. Gryffindors and Slytherins are on their way. Minerva, inform the other teachers."  
Dumbledore accompanied them only until they reached the stairs, where he met with McGonagall who took the Gryffindors down to the Great Hall. They were met by Slytherins in the Entrance Hall, coming up the stairs and both their heads guided them inside hurriedly. After all students had assembled, the four heads of house provided sleeping bags and then left them with Professor Sinistra and Vektor to search the castle.

* * *

Harry laid there wide awake beside his two best friends, waiting anxiously for Uncle Remus or Severus to return. He couldn't really follow Ron and Hermione's conversation until they both entered alongside Dumbledore. Harry shushed his friends and frowned as he saw the set of Severus' jaw and Remus' burning gaze. They were hissing something at each other that sounded so venomous, Harry could have mistaken it for Parseltongue. Remus seemed to want to come to him, but Severus was continually saying something in a low tone, that didn't carry to the students. Dumbledore intervened at one point and sent Remus away, who looked disgusted. Severus then started paroling the Hall with the other heads.  
Dumbledore shot him a look before he followed Remus outside. On the grounds he called him back.  
"Remus, wait."  
The younger man stopped and turned, still fuming with anger  
"He is only worried about Harry, you have to understand that."  
"How can he accuse me of something like that? I would never hurt Harry, never!", Remus spat, his heart still racing from the anger he felt pulsating through his veins. A headache was rapidly forming and he rubbed his temple "If I saw Sirius even in his vicinity, I wouldn't stop to ask, I'd kill him on the spot!"  
"I know, Remus, try to relax."  
Lupin snorted angrily and looked into the distance "Harry is all I've got, I love him like a son. Does Snape really think he is the only one who cares for the boy? And if I was in on it with Black would I have kept him late in my office or just led him to him? That Harry was with me at the time probably saved his life. Has he stopped and thought about that?"  
"No, he hasn't, obviously he hasn't, Remus.", Dumbledore said softly "He is mad with worry, he is searching for someone to blame and you are the easiest target. I will talk with him tomorrow, try to put some sense into his thick head. But you have to understand why he jumped to that conclusion: He could never forgive himself if his growing friendship with you led to harm Harry in any way."  
"I would never..."  
"I know.", Dumbledore interrupted "But Severus doesn't. Give him time to clear his head. I know you would not harm Harry, I know you would do anything to make him safe again."  
Lupin turned around at that and took a deep breath. He stared into the forest and then looked back at Dumbledore uncertainly. Dumbledore sensed there was something he wanted to say but didn't push him any more "If you need to talk, my door is always open, my boy."  
With that Dumbledore turned around and left Lupin to his thoughts.

* * *

That weekend started with a match against Slytherin. Or so they thought.  
"Slytherin has found an excuse to avoid playing in this foul weather.", Wood announced, his jaw set and gaze grim "We'll be playing Hufflepuff."  
The other team members groaned and started to protest but Wood held up his glowed hand "I know, but there's nothing for it. Hufflepuff have a strong keeper, Chasers take care of that." they nodded before Wood turned to Harry "Their seeker is superb, beat his ass, Harry."  
Harry grinned at that and nodded too. They all filed out into the pouring rain to thunder and lightening. Harry looked hopelessly at Wood, as his vision was constantly hindered by the rain. Wood held off the beginning of the match looking desperate  
"Its hard enough to spot the snitch as it is, but like this...", Harry said, pointing to his already dripping glasses. At that moment Hermione burst onto the pitch, holding her robes above her head with one had and pointing her wand at Harry with the other "Impervius!"  
Harry blinked as all the water vanished from his sight and stayed away. Wood looked so relieved, Harry was surprised he didn't kiss Hermione on the spot "Brilliant!"  
As this problem was solved, the teams faced each other. Harry looked up to the other team's seeker, who already had his googles on and seemed to be frowning. The whistle sounded weakly and they were off into the air. Harry whipped around, frantically trying to find the snitch as soon as possible. He heard the scores but couldn't confirm it was Gryffindor. He saw a golden glint that turned out to be someone's watch and then his eyes fell on something else yellow. A pair of eyes, looking at him. Harry squinted and recognized the dog, Black, in the same moment as he felt the air freeze around him. He frantically reached into his pocket for his wand and screamed "Expecto Patronum!", but his effort was futile. After that first lesson Harry had not had another and all he produced was feeble white mist. He trembled and felt himself slipping away into unconsciousness as he listened to his mother's begging for his life.  
When Harry next opened his eyes, he felt something heavy on himself. He blinked tiredly and heard Pomfrey's agitated voice  
"He's sleeping! You can visit tomorrow. Off with you lot.", a moment later Harry heard muffled replies and then Pomfrey's firm voice "Now!"  
The weight on him shifted at that sharp command and Severus came into view.  
"Were you sleeping on me?", Harry asked tiredly and yawned  
"You are comfortable.", Severus said, massaging his neck "How do you feel?"  
"Tired, but alright. What happened?"  
"Dementors stormed the pitch, you fell off your broom..."  
"I know!", Harry interrupted "I meant, who won?"  
Snape raised an eyebrow and said "Get your priorities right, boy! Hufflepuff won the match. Diggory caught the Snitch before he realized you had fallen."  
Harry looked so dismayed that Severus felt obliged to add "Its not the end of the world. The way the points stand, you still have a chance at winning the cup. Relax."  
Harry pouted at that and folded his arms over his chest "If Slytherin hadn't chickened out..."  
"You would still have fallen off your broom", Severus continued, leaning back "There is something else..."  
Harry looked at him disinterestedly  
"Your broom.", at this Harry sat up "it was blown into the Womping Willow."  
"No!", Harry pronounced as he recognized Severus' pained expression "It was destroyed?"  
"Sadly, yes."  
Harry fell back into his pillows with an open mouth. His Nimbus was gone...  
"Don't worry, we'll get you a new one before the next match.", Severus said, ruffling his hair, he seemed to be rather sympathetic, so Harry tried to do what he had seen Dudley do countless times.  
"It was my first broom and it was a present from Professor McGonagall.", he said in a small voice, trying hard to sound younger than he was "Whatever broom I get it will never be like that one..."  
Severus sighed and looked troubled, he pursed his lips before he said "What kind of broom do you want?"  
Harry beamed at him immediately "A firebolt!"  
Severus looked as if he had a tooth ache "A firebolt?"  
"Hmm.", Harry said, nodding vigorously with shining eyes.  
"We'll see.", Snape said and then added "Don't believe for a second I didn't look through your little display, pest."  
Harry grinned  
"Don't ever try to outslytherin me, it won't work.", Snape said, getting up and ready for leaving. He acted as if he didn't hear Harry murmur  
"It did work this time."  
He was glad he had already turned his back on Harry, because he couldn't keep the grin off his face at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, how did you like Marty? Could you recognize the movie? How did you like Severus' assessment of Vernon's psyche?  
> And I'm so sorry I keep making Sev and Harry fight but I promise there's a sweet treat in the near future ;)  
> And I'll stop with Harrys insecurities now, the cupboard thing was the last, I promise... Or... No, no, I'll stop! :D  
> There will be no slash in this story, so no Lupin/Snape, don't think that'd be a good thing for their relationship with Harry. But You ca see Aurora is becoming a more prominent character - how do you like her?  
> What do you guys think about Sev's order for Lupin to stay clear of Harry? I don't want to mess with your perception, so I'm not going to add why I did it like that.  
> I'm looking forward to your comments!


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as the next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson rolled around, Harry tried to talk to Lupin. But his uncle only frowned and stiffly said "Your guardian does not want me to have any extra curricular lessons with you, nor does he want me to speak to you unless it is class related."

Harry opened his mouth in shock but Remus only slumped his shoulders and gave him a defeated look. This had quite a strong impression on Harry, as Lupin already looked half dead because it was shortly after the full moon.

"But that's so unfair!", Harry said shrilly and Lupin shook his head. He only said "Please Harry." and then turned away. Harry left the classroom with drooping shoulders and in his preoccupation ran into Parvati, who was standing outside. He just wanted to say sorry when she quickly said "Oh! Sorry.", sounding quite flustered and left as fast as she could. Harry didn't wonder about this for too long, he had better things to think about.

As soon as classes ended, Harry stormed down to the dungeons under the cloak and let himself into his Papa's living quarters. A moment later Snape looked in from his office, alerted that somebody had entered his rooms and when he didn't see anyone, said "I'll be back in a minute, take off the ridiculous cloak."

Harry did and sat down, waiting for Severus to re-enter his rooms.

"Is everything alright?", he asked as soon as he entered, worried because he had already seen Harry twice today and something must have happened for him to seek him out again.

"No!", Harry said and looked at him, his eyes blazing with anger "Why did you tell Uncle Remus he can't talk to me? And he can't give me any lessons either, am I supposed to fall off my broom again?"

"No.", Snape said, understanding spreading over his features as he sat down "I will tutor you in the Patronus charm as well, you will make fast progress I am sure."

"Stop that!", Harry said irritated, he knew Snape was only complimenting him to take his mind off the subject and lessen his anger "Why can't he talk to me?"

Snape leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs "Because, as I told you before, I do not trust him. Black entered the castle – how do you think he managed that? It can only have happened with inside help."

Harry opened his lips in disbelieve "You think Remus...? But..."

Snape saw his mistake, but it was too late. Remus was one of the few adults Harry had started to trust and Severus was taking this away from him.

"I cannot be sure, but I can't take chances either."

"That's a really good excuse, isn't it?", Harry spat and jumped up "I can't go to Hogsmeade, because of Black, I can't talk to Remus because of him and now I can't have Patronus lessons with anyone but you – because of Black! You know what I think? You are jealous of Uncle Remus and want to separate me from him."

"SitDown", Snape said dangerously, anger flaring up in his chest. At first Harry was unsure how to react – Snape had no right to order him around – but that wasn't Snape. That was Severus, his Papa and even though Harry was angry with him, he also respected him. He settled for sitting down and glaring at him "You will not speak to me in this manner. I admit that I sometimes feel jealous of your relationship with Lupin but that has nothing to do with this. As before, when Black is caught and Lupin is proven innocent, I will have no reserve against letting you two spend time together. Until then, he remains a danger."

"You can't be serious! If he wanted to sell me out, he would have done so a long time ago."

"You realize that other parents don't allow their children to spend time with a werewolf at all and I let you stay with him alone during the summer...", Snape stopped as he saw Harry's white face, he couldn't say what had caused it but something he said had made Harry look as if he was going to be sick "What?"

It took Harry a moment before he looked up and said "I am not your child and you are not my parent."

"I am as good as..."

"No, you're not!", Harry said loudly, then his voice dropped down again "You are not even my guardian. You are someone who has taken pity on an orphan, that's all."

"Harry, you know this isn't true... I..."

"You love me?", Harry asked, looking up challengingly "You care for me? Do you?"

"Of course, I told you.", Snape said, taken aback and staring into Harry's hard eyes

"Well I've been told a lot in my life.", Harry whispered

"You don't have to believe my words.", Snape said, his tone rather harder than he wanted, because he was hurt by Harry's words "But you can see it, can you not?"

"You have done a lot for me.", Harry admitted and then said, without looking up "But you're not my parent, you're not my guardian. Any time you want, you can turn away."

Snape thought about this; Minerva's, his father's and Marty's words coming back to him. Making this official, it would cement their relationship. It would make him Harry's father – a thought that filled him with longing and fear in the same amount – and give both of them security. What reason would he have to be jealous of Lupin, when Harry was his son?

And at that moment, looking into Harry's forlorn gaze, he realized that he was hurting this child. He was hurting his child. The same way that the Dursleys had hurt him and before them Voldemort and his Followers. He had been running away from Harry and disappointing his hopes, everyday, each day, Harry had been looking at him and hoping that he would take responsibility. And he had disappointed him each and every time.

"You are right.", Snape said and heard Harry sigh, because he could not look at him. "I wish you could trust me but I understand why you can't.", he sighed himself "I will take your custody."

Harry looked up surprised "You want to be my guardian?"

"Of course. You're a pest, but you are my pest.", Severus said fondly "Seriously, how can you doubt that I would want to take you?"

Harry shrugged and looked away again "But what about your job for... Him, when he returns?"

Snape took a deep breath and stared at Harry for a while "You are infinitely more important to me. Dumbledore will have to find someone else if it all comes to light."

"If?"

"Albus is very well connected. There is no reason anyone should doubt him being your guardian and no one would ever suspect it was me. It is possible that we could stay undetected and I could stay a..."

"What?", Harry asked when Snape stopped "What did you do for Professor Dumbledore?"

"I was a spy. Actually I was a double agent, giving information to both sides. But my true loyalties lay with the..." he stopped himself before saying 'Order' "with Dumbledore after your parents' death."

Harry nodded, too preoccupied with everything else happening to process this information as well "But I still can't talk to Remus?"

Severus pursed his lips "You... cannot be alone with him. Please try to understand that."

"What if Hermione and Ron where there with me? Can I talk to him then?"

Snape wanted dearly to refuse but didn't want to endanger the rapport they had developed "Yes, but please be careful, Harry."

Harry nodded, understanding how much it cost Snape to allow him as much. He felt he needed to do something to show Snape he appreciated it and his readiness to take him. He crossed the room to the man and gave him an awkward hug, while he was still sitting. "Thank you.", he said quietly and then quickly let go.

"I should go, still have a lot of homework.", he said, gathering up his cloak and leaving as fast as he could without looking back. Thus he missed a softly smiling Snape watching him escape.

* * *

"Not that I don't enjoy your company, Severus, but do tell what's on your mind.", Dumbledore said amiably after looking at his silent Potions Master for a few minutes.

"I would like to be Harry's guardian.", Severus answered, still in a bit of a daze

"You are."

"Yes... I mean officially.", Severus said, snapping out of his half dream state

"But why?", Dumbledore arranged his glasses on his nose "Are you unhappy with the way we dealt with the Dursleys?"

"No, no that's not it.", Severus assured "Its more... Harry has told me, and he is quite right, that the way things stand as of now I could abandon him any moment without looking back. There is no obligation I have towards him. There is no blood and no law that could stop me, other than morality and...", Snape gave a dry laugh "My morality is somewhat questionable."

"I very much doubt Harry said the last, but I do understand his worry. He has had no stable relationship to an adult he could count on and of course he wishes to have more security. It is quite relatable."

Severus remained silent

"You are... unhappy with the request?", Dumbledore probed carefully

"He does not trust me."

"Why should he, Severus?", Albus asked softly

"I have taken him out of the Dursleys' home, I gave him a new home with me. I have done everything to accommodate him, to make him happy. I... care for him. What else am I supposed to do?", Snape asked, finally giving in to his anger and disappointment

"You are doing everything in your power.", Dumbledore said with a nod "And I believe Harry is quite confused with this. He has never known love or care, or rather he does not remember it. He has only known how it is to be a burden, quite a parasite. He is confused as to what you provide and what he can ask for. And he limits himself as to the latter, because he feels insecure about your intentions. I believe he will feel bad about requesting the guardianship as well."

Snape stared at his hands, deep in thought.

"It is quite understandable that he'll need that security, of course. The question is how to proceed?", Dumbledore asked

"I thought... maybe you could arrange it so that I would be his legal guardian but it would stay undetected.", Severus said, looking at Dumbledore with a mixture of doubt and hope.

Dumbledore turned his head from side to side, thinking about a possibility and then concluded "I will try my best. But you will have to decide now if it is to be a guardianship or an adoption. We cannot keep doing this, those files are better kept untouched and in the dark as long as possible."

Snape's head snapped up at those words and he looked unsure "I don't... I feel inadequate."

Dumbledore smiled "A moment before you were stating all you have done for the child and now you feel inadequate? I believe you two have made quite some progress and he would benefit from this immensely. If I may suggest something: Please don't surprise him with this. Ask him what he prefers and tell him what you wish. Then give the decision up to him and let him decide. And do give him a few days to consider and bounce back the idea with his friends and confidantes..."

Severus thought of Remus and stiffened

"I believe he will want to ask his two best friends, who have been so instrumental in bringing this about. As well as, of course, the Weasleys."

"The Weasleys?", Snape asked surprised

"They have taken an interest in Harry's well being and accommodated him not only during the time the charm was still in effect but also the summer before. They are two adults, parents as well, Harry would want to ask. You may even give him the advice to do so."

"And Lupin.", Snape added, trying to keep emotion out of his voice

"And Remus, yes.", Dumbledore leaned forward "He may be angry with you – as you are with him – but he will give Harry the advice he thinks will benefit him most. He cares for the child deeply and keeping them apart will only damage your relationship with both." Seeing Severus cross his arms and look like he wouldn't listen to another word of this, made Dumbledore change course "The more choice you give Harry, the greater the respect and love you will earn from him."

Severus still looked put out but nodded "I will heed your advice and come to you with our decision."

"Very well, I wish the best for you and your son."

Snape cleared his throat embarrassed and then left quickly.

* * *

"Guys.", Harry said after dinner a few days later "Can I talk to you two?"

Ron and Hermione looked surprised but nodded

"We can go to the experiment room.", Harry said, leading the way. Snape had prepared a room where they could use different trial Molotov potions for his project. Harry had had a lot of fun throwing things at a screen and watching them shatter and burn. He had not yet found a lot of potions that worked, some of them did not have enough spreading others were to dangerous, burning too long and out of control. When they entered, Ron whistled impressed with the damage Harry had done to the screen.

"Wow, that looks cool.", Ron said, going up to the screen and touching the burned holes.

"Ron, concentrate.", Hermione said and turned to Harry "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah... well... Severus, he said that...", why was it so hard to just come out and say it? Harry gritted his teeth and then rushed "He wants to adopt me."

The response was quite unexpected as Ron's jaw dropped, before he grinned widely and Hermione gave girlish scream, throwing her arms around Harry. Flustered, Harry patted her back and let go quickly, looking at Ron

"So you think its a good idea?"

"Yeah mate, a blind man can see how good he is for you. You have proper things now and you can go to him whenever you need him.", Ron pointed at the screen "And he lets you throw and burn things. What are you waiting for?"

Harry laughed at that and turned to Hermione, who, to his horror, had tears in her eyes.

"This is so wonderful Harry. That's what I always wanted for you! Are we the first people you ask?"

"No.", Harry admitted quietly "I asked Hagrid first."

It was hard to understand, even for himself, but the first person he had gone to was the kind half giant. He felt like no one on the Hogwarts grounds – maybe the whole world – could understand him in this matter the way Hagrid could. And as expected he had not reacted exuberant to these news, but quite seriously considered them. His protectiveness towards Harry and himself being orphaned early in his life made him the right person to ask. He had gone quiet, asked Harry a few questions and then not only told him to go ahead but offered to always be there to talk to. Harry had felt as connected to him as he never had before and quite grateful to have Hagrid in his life.

"But after him you are the first.", Harry added, they both nodded in understanding, even though Ron looked a bit miffed. After their whole hearted affirmation of the situation he turned to write to the Weasleys as Severus had suggested. He was unsure of how to put his question but managed to draw up a letter after a few attempts, he went to Professor Lupin with it, a bit annoyed at having to have Hermione and Ron in the room.

"Uncle, can you read this through and tell me if that's alright? It's a letter to the Weasleys.", he wanted to combine having his uncle's opinion on the letter as well as his opinion with the matter.

Remus took it and then read it through, he stopped at the end and didn't look up for a moment. When he did, Harry could see his eyes were full of emotion but could not identify it.

"I... believe it is a very good letter.", he said and gave it back.

"Uncle... what do you think, about all of it?", Harry asked, shifting on his feet, Remus looked at him for a moment, then smiled softly

"You have taken on a few Slytherin traits, Harry.", he said in an obviously amused tone "If you hadn't had me read the letter I might still be biased, but this way, all I can say is: I believe this would make you happy and this is why I agree with it wholeheartedly."

Harry beamed at him, relief washing over him. He had been so afraid of Remus' reaction but now he felt surer about the whole thing. If Remus, even though he was angry at Severus, could still see how good this would be for him, there could not be much to speak against it. For some time, Harry had felt like Remus was the last advocate of James' wishes for his son and if he agreed, he felt like this would be the right thing to do.

* * *

"Severus.", Minerva said crisply and her colleague turned on his way down to the dungeons "There is a matter we need to discuss."

Severus raised an eyebrow but followed her up to her office, inside she turned around on her heels and said in a clearly disappointed tone "Why did you not tell me?"

"About what?"

"That you want to adopt Harry."

Severus raised his eyebrows "Who told you?"

"Harry."

"Harry?", he asked surprised

"Harry.", she said, nodding "He came to me, asking for my advice."

"Who else has he asked?", Severus muttered, surprised at Harry's daring to ask the formidable Gryffindor Head

"I was astonished that Harry would consult me but you wouldn't even inform me!", she said in a wounded tone and settled down

"I would have.", Severus said, putting his hand on the back of a visitor's chair "As soon as the matter was settled. There is no question in my mind as to what I want. He is... my child, with or without the adoption."

Minerva smiled fondly at this

"But he needs to be sure, so I allowed him to ask the advice of the people he considers... important and knowledgeable enough to give it."

Minerva's smile turned quite smug at this "And he came to me."

"Indeed.", Severus said and then teased "I am as surprised as you are."

"Oh, be quiet, you!", she snapped back and made him laugh

"What did you say?", he asked anxiously, sitting down and accepting a cup of tea

"What do you think?", Minerva answered and turned the discussion away from her obvious answer "He told me he consulted his two best friends, Remus, Rubeus and the Weasleys as well. I wanted to make sure the matter had not gone out of the Order."

Snape nodded, sipping his tea "What do you think they told him?"

"I do not believe any of them discouraged him.", she began and at his disbelieving expression added "Not even Remus. Harry came to me last and even though he seemed relieved at having my approval, he did not look troubled or very anxious about the matter."

"He was relaxed?", Severus asked curiously

"Quite.", Minerva answered, smiling into her tea "I congratulate you on the decision, it is as good as made up and I really think it will make you both a lot happier."

Severus leaned back, relaxing into the chair. He felt a lot better. He had been nervous since giving the child the choice, but now he felt content. Harry seemed made up on the decision and it was in his favour. He was relieved, glad and could finally have a relaxed conversation with Minerva about other, rather irrelevant topics.

"Chitchat in the staff room has it, there is romance in the air.", Minerva stated, trying hard to contain her grin

"Really?", Severus asked disinterestedly, choosing his favourite cookie and biting into it

"Indeed, there is a certain dark, brooding character and an equally dark beauty engaging in... ah... the dance of..."

"Nothing!", Snape interrupted angrily, red spots appearing on his cheeks "Dance of nothing. There is absolutely nothing..."

His sentence was drowned out by Minerva's laughter.

* * *

Arthur was reading the Daily Prophet with his morning coffee when he spotted a white dot in the distance, coming closer at high speed "Molly, isn't that Harry's owl?"

Molly looked up from the dishes and opened the window for the beautiful snowy owl, that landed gracefully on the kitchen table

"I hope everything is alright.", Molly said, worriedly wiping her hands on her apron and untying the letter. She opened it and sat down to read the writing she had never seen before now. Soon her eyes were quelling with tears and she had a hand over her mouth "Oh Arthur! How very... how... oh, there are no words, read it."

Alarmed and confused Arthur accepted the letter while his wife wiped her tears away. He smiled when he finished it and looked up "He is a good boy, Harry is."

"Oh, yes, he is such a good boy and he deserves this.", she smiled, having conjured up quill and parchment "Lets write him back with return owl and have him know how great we think this is. What a wonderful, wonderful child, what a beautiful thing to happen to him!"

Arthur smiled fondly at his wife, then he looked over the letter again and read it over for the second time.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,

I know you will be surprised to hear from me and first of all I want to thank you, for always being so kind to me. I really appreciate all you've done for me and I will never forget it. And I think, more than any other adults in my life, you know what it means to be a parent and you can judge who would be able to be a good one. Again, I feel very lucky that you gave me a glimpse of that. The thing is, even though I am nothing more than you're son's friend, I wanted to ask your advice in a matter that is very important to me. You know there are few adults in my life I trust and none other than you have children.

The thing is this: Professor Snape has offered to adopt me, but instead of accepting my answer right away, he asked me to take advice from people in my life I trust. I trust that you two will give me advice on what to do.

I lost my parents when I was very young and don't remember them any more. I have never known what it's like to have a parent, someone who cares for me. Not until I had Severus take that part. I don't think, if I would refuse, I will ever get the chance to have this ever again. But I don't want to choose this because I have no other choice. I really care for Severus and he cares back. That's the best thing that ever happened to me. But of course I'm scared as well. As I said, I never knew real parents, I only got a glimpse when I met your family. That is why I trust you to give me the advice I need: Is Severus a good parent? Will he be the right choice for me?

I believe I know the answers, but I cannot be sure.

Forever gratefully yours

Harry Potter."

"You write to him.", Arthur said, taking one parchment and quill for himself "I will write a short missive to Severus."

* * *

And this is how, at the same time, Severus and Harry opened letters from the Weasleys that made them smile. Harry immediately showed his to his two best friends, who were equally glad with the Weasleys' response. Severus folded his up and tucked it inside his pocket, sipping his coffee and looking quite content.

"That letter made you happy.", Minerva commented over her tea "Was that Arthur's writing?"

"Yes, it was.", Severus said, taking another sip.

"Well, what did he say?", Minerva asked

"Curious, are you not?", Severus teased, his lips twitching upwards, Minerva scowled "He wrote to inform me... ah... he is quite happy I offered... the child what he needs."

Minerva smiled at that and said "So they gave him a positive response as well."

They both looked at the Gryffindor table, where the three friends were whispering excitedly, smiles plastered on their faces.

* * *

This year when Professor McGonagall took the names of those who'd stay at the castle over Christmas, Harry felt quite happy not to volunteer. When Christmas rolled around, he would already be Severus' son and would spend it with his dad. Everything, the snow on the grounds and the decorations in the Great Hall looked ten times more beautiful, the chatter in the common room tons happier. To perfect his mood, Ravenclaw had beat Hufflepuff – some bad tongues said "beat to a pulp" – which heightened their chances for the cup considerably. Harry had been spending so much time with Severus, brewing and learning the Patronus Charm, that he felt his time was divided up only between him and the rest of the school. He didn't mind that at all, after the adoption offer. When he went down today he entered with a wide grin

"Are they there yet?", he asked, the way he had for a few days now

"Yes, you insufferable little beast, they have arrived.", Snape answered, less annoyed than he sounded, Harry's heart dropped to his knees nonetheless

"Can I see?", Harry asked quietly, dropping his bag and coming closer to the desk, which was littered with papers, Snape was filling out. Snape raised an eyebrow and then waved an inviting hand over the papers

"Be my guest. What would you like to read first? My financial status or my remaining relatives?", he held up two papers, first indicating the left then the right. Harry actually reached for the left before receiving a playful swat and laughing.

"What does a Hogwarts professor earn?", Harry asked curiously, sitting down in front of Severus

"Insolent brat.", Snape scolded, continuing to fill out the forms while he answered "Not much, as accommodation and provisions 9 months a year are included. Teaching at Hogwarts is a question of prestige as well, it is a high ranked position in our society and the world of science, as professors from Hogwarts have historically always provided science with valuable contributions. But do not worry your sweet little pumpkin head, I am well off."

Harry shuddered at the ironical title he had just received "How are you well off then...? Spinners End..."

"...doesn't look the epitome of wealth, I know. I got Spinners End from my father, he had received it from his. I don't need more than a house with a few rooms, as I don't live there for most of the year. But I inherited the Prince estate from my mother's side of the family. There was no other heir left and my grandparents died after my mother. I did not want a grand estate and expensive finery, when those people had left my mother with no support at all. They had even refused to come to her burial."

Snape looked bitter for a moment, staring at the parchment in disdain "I buried them alongside their pureblooded ancestors and sold the whole lot with the house."

Harry blinked, surprised at the venom in his Papa's voice, a man who had joined the Death Eaters and at one point must have thought well about pure blood as well. He did not point this out, however.

"And the money from that is in your Gringott's account?", Harry said "Then why do you work here?"

"For Dumbledore and my mission.", Severus answered, finishing one of the forms and taking up the next "You may already have guessed: I don't enjoy this job much."

Harry grinned at that, trying to steal a glance at the paper with the financial accounts. Severus casually turned it face down and continued with his forms. It took Harry a few minutes but then he relaxed enough to take out his homework and start working on it. When Snape hadn't finished after his second essay, Harry tried to distract himself by reading something for his Advanced Potions project. But he simply couldn't concentrate, so he settled for chatting with Ophion.

"Harry, can I go out?", the little snake asked, getting comfortable on his wrist. Ophion asked frequently, when he could go out.

"I'm sorry Ophion, but there are a lot of owls in area, I don't want you to be eaten.", Harry explained again

"Harry can come with me.", Ophion suggested, rubbing his face on Harry's wrist in a way that could best be described as 'snuggling', Harry smiled apologetically

"I'm sorry, friend, but I cannot go out.", Harry answered "There is a... predator after me."

Even though it felt ridiculous to call Black a "predator" he had no better translation for "murderer". Ophion stopped snuggling

"I will bite him."

Harry laughed at that and received a little bite from Ophion in response "Ow! Sorry, I didn't want to insult you."

"Harry!", he suddenly heard Snape's exasperated call "Stop hissing, I can't concentrate."

"Oops.", Harry said and retreated into his room, where he finished his conversation with his pet, then put him back in his terrarium. As Ophion was still a bit annoyed that his master had basically laughed at him, he was treated to a warm shower. Harry sprayed a bit of water onto the little snake and gave him a treat in the form of a Flubberworm. Harry had realized that Ophion loved the Potion ingredient and would eat a whole box if Harry let him. He looked into the terrarium for a while, watching his friend slither to his favorite spot, a little cave decked inside out with moss. Harry watched Ophion enter and settle down, possibly going to sleep and suddenly felt bad for him. The poor creature had no one for most of the time. Even though Ophion was quite often found sleeping peacefully, he missed his master most of the time. It was his highlight whenever Harry took him out for a conversation. Harry had a burst of bad conscience. He had trapped the little snake into a glass cage and cut him off of his own kind, just the way he had been cut off from the Wizarding world. He really wanted to take Ophion out and have him breathe fresh air and meet someone of his own kind... Maybe he'd even find a lady snake. Harry grinned at that thought and jumped a little when Severus called him back into the living room.

"I wanted you to read this.", Severus said, giving Harry the last page of the forms. Harry read

'I hereby accept the aforementioned child or children as mine. I will provide them with all necessities and include them in my inheritance. The child will henceforth be my charge and I will be responsible for all its needs and wants. I will guide him/her/them to the best of my ability and provide them with all the care I can give. If so desired the child will change its name as mentioned under paragraph...' Harry jumped over this, as he would stay a Potter and then stared at Snape's spidery handwriting.

He could not do anything but stare at the letters. They were closely connected, written with light pressure with rather small lettering and not slanted. He stared and stared at the words "Severus Tobias Snape", as if they told him everything he needed to know. He wondered briefly why Severus had written "Tobias" with what looked like a small "t", it looked wrong.

"Do you plan on becoming a graphologist?", Snape joked and Harry gave him a weak smile even though he didn't understand what that meant "They examine hand writing and try to tell you the personality of the person."

"Does it work?", Harry asked, putting the paper back carefully and avoiding Snape's eyes

"I don't trust it that much.", Snape answered casually leaning against his desk "Are you really that interested in graphology or are you avoiding to talk about this?"

Harry shrugged

"I know it must be scary.", Severus whispered reaching out his hand and taking Harry by the arm "I am scared too."

Harry looked up surprised

"I've tried my best thus far and I think I have managed... tolerably. But there is so much that can go wrong. When I think about my father's legacy..."

"You won't hurt me, I know.", Harry said, looking at him with honest trust "I... don't know how to be anyone's son so... I think I'll do stuff wrong and mess things up..."

"We both will.", Severus agreed, squeezing the arm in his hand reassuringly "But I promise you, I will never intentionally hurt you and I will try my best to be your father."

Harry gulped at that and then leaned forward, leaning his forehead on Snape's chest. Snape casually put his arms around Harry's shoulders and rested his chin on his head. Harry turned his head sideways so he could hear Severus' heartbeat, that was going at a frantic pace. Harry relaxed his muscles at that and hugged his Papa back. Severus was as scared as he was, his own heart was beating at high speed for his fear of failing. He didn't trust himself to speak, so he kept his mouth shut until they had relaxed from their fear and let go of each other.

"My father will be quite pleased.", Severus said, cupping Harry's cheek and the child smiled at him

* * *

The following weekend when all official channels had approved of the quiet adoption, Snape took Harry to the hospital, where Tobias had been transferred to. Harry hadn't gone for a while now and felt nervous to meet his grandfather again, now actually being his grandson. He knew Tobias would probably be happy, but he still couldn't stop fidgeting.

"Stop that!", Snape finally said, swatting his hand from the hem of his shirt "And put your shirt in your trousers before I do!"

Harry complied hastily before they got off the elevator. He followed his father to a single room at the end of the hall. Severus entered and was greeted enthusiastically

"My boy!", Tobias took him by the arm, making him sit on the bed beside him, facing him. He looked a lot weaker than the last time, Harry noticed worriedly "And who is this?"

Harry stopped in his tracks and saw his dad's back stiffen. Severus cleared his throat and reached for Harry, pulling him to his side

"This is Harry, my son.", he said softly "I adopted him a little while ago..."

"What?", Tobias snapped, his eyebrow drawing together "You adopted some kid off the street?"

"No, he is a student where I teach, an orphan.", Severus tried to explain again, keeping Harry firmly pressed against his side, trying to comfort him silently. Harry felt confused and hurt. He knew about Alzheimer, but to have Tobias, who had so readily welcomed him the first time he saw him and always been so kind, act like this... It felt horrible. "You remember Lily? Lily Evans?"

Tobias squinted at Harry, who silently stared back "He has her eyes."

"Yes.", Severus said, relieved "We got close during last year, he is talented in my subject and I found he wasn't being treated right by his family. So I took him."

Tobias grunted, still looking unforgiving and very much like the man Severus had described from his childhood. But the arm around Harry's shoulder had steadfastly stayed there, warming him.

"You... got to know him better during the summer and have been nagging me since then to make him my son.", Severus said and Harry felt how stiff and careful he was, when he said that. Harry soon realized why

"What?", Tobias growled, fixing his attention on his son "I never did that! Stop lying you ungrateful little wrench. What didn't I do for you? And now, instead of giving me a real grandchild, you take in some useless little creature. But of course, he is just as scrawny and meaningless as you were."

Harry felt cold and dreadful. It was like staring into Vernon's face again, angry, red and spitting. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. Before Severus could answer they heard steps coming closer fast. A nurse entered and assessed the situation quickly.

"What is going on here?"

"Throw them out!", Tobias shouted angrily "Out! I don't want to see them again."

"As you wish, Mr. Snape.", the nurse said, trying to sooth him and turned to Severus "Will you please come with me?"

But Severus had already stood up and was leading Harry out of the room. Harry felt horrible, he had made Tobias aggressive with his presence alone. But he didn't know what he could have done differently. And he felt so bad about hearing those words about his father. He was angry and wanted to confront Tobias, to ask him how he dared, after all he had done, to say something so hurtful to Severus. After they had walked a few steps into the hall, Harry realized that Severus hadn't let go of him yet. The nurse came out after them, closing the door quietly

"He is worse?", Severus asked immediately and Harry felt surprised at that. His father wasn't angry at all

"Yes, I am afraid so.", the nurse said, sympathetic "I have to tell you, his situation is worsening gradually."

Severus rubbed his face with his free hand in agitation and Harry looked helplessly at him.

"What was the source of his... anger?", the nurse asked, Severus glanced at Harry and answered

"He could not remember my son any more."

The nurse pursed her lips and nodded, understanding. "Try to go in again in a few minutes without him."

"Is it so bad?", Severus whispered, looking desperately into her eyes and she only nodded and turned away.

"What did you mean?", Harry asked, scared of the answer

"In a few minutes he may have already forgotten we were in there.", Severus answered "When I go in, shall I ask him if he remembers you and call you in, if he does?"

Harry shook his head "You are going to make him angry again. If he remembers he'll ask for me, won't he?"

"He did every time before.", Snape agreed and finally let go, he fondly ruffles Harry's hair and said "Don't take it too hard, you didn't do anything wrong."

After that he disappeared into the room and left Harry in the waiting area. A few minutes later the nurse gave him a cup of hot chocolate with a sad smile and only when he had already finished, did his Papa return. Severus looked worn and older than before they had entered the hospital. He seemed deep in thought, when he waved for Harry to follow him and the scowl didn't lift off his face all the way down to the exit. Harry was acutely aware of the fact that he hadn't come out and brought him back into the room. Tobias had forgotten about him.

"Was he better then?", Harry asked quietly

"A bit grumpy, but yes.", Severus answered and seemed to snap out of his thoughts, he studied Harry intently for a while and then said "Listen, it was not your fault, understood?" Harry nodded without believing him "Things like this have happened before. He wouldn't recognize nurses that had been with him for years."

"Did he ever forget you?", Harry asking, staring at the tips of his shoes

"No, not yet.", Severus answered "But it is quite random, don't take it personally."

"The way he was, in the end. Was he like this when you were a kid?"

Severus looked at Harry, the truth was that he had been worse "Similar, yes."

Harry pursed his lips "How could you forgive him?"

"I... I had to let go of my anger after I decided to help him. It was about being practical. I couldn't harbour him ill will and still care for him. The first thing in my mind was to make him as comfortable as possible, the way I had promised my mother. The anger fled when I realized how sorry he was and how much he had changed."

Harry hummed and then said "I can't forgive him for being mean to you."

"Yes, it is far easier to forgive crimes against oneself rather than crimes against people we love. It took me considerably more time to forgive him for the way he had treated my mother. I do not believe I will ever be able to forgive the Dursleys, even though I encourage you to leave it behind for your own sake."

They walked in silence for a while until they reached the apparition point, Snape took Harry by his arms "These are his last days. The kindness I have shown him, as grudgingly as it was provided, I believe it led me to you. Harry, please learn from this. Your past was overshadowed by the Dursleys, don't give them the power to control your future. Forgive them and go on, not for their sake, not because they deserve it, but for yourself."

Harry looked up at his father, infinitely glad he had chosen him as a parent. He stepped up and hugged him closely to apparate.

"Thanks Dad."

He felt arms come around him and Severus blow on his messy hair playfully, before they apparated away. Severus regretted deeply how this meeting had gone, but Harry had been lucky that Tobias had remembered him every time before today. It was no one's fault but he couldn't stop the bad conscience coming up in him. This was a day they had wanted to celebrate, for now Harry was officially his. But it had turned out to be a lesson in life. That things never turn out the way you expect them to. Severus had thought he had learned that lesson long before now – he had been wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG - yes, I did that :D They are now officially father and son, I told you there was a sweet treat waiting, didn't I? Normally I would have made quite a deal out of the adoption but with the way I have drawn them both it seemed ridiculous. They have both already accepted the way they feel for each other and this is only cementing it and making it official, nothing more. And I ended it on a sad note, I am horrible, I know. I was waiting for the exact right moment to have Tobias' illness show this particular symptom towards Harry and this seemed to be just perfect. That is just how life is: You feel awesome and then something terrible happens, so I think that part was quite realistic. But do tell me what you thought about Tobias' reaction. As I've said before I have no personal experience with this disease and I am trying to do the situation justice with what I could research from different sources. I hope I did not offend anyone, I know there are several reviewers who have had this illness in the family - I would much appreciate your opinion on the scene.


	7. Chapter 7

Just a week after their visit with Tobias the next Hogsmeade trip arrived. As it was the last one before Christmas, almost all students had left the school with quite a few more teachers than usually, including Lupin. Harry had asked Severus if he could have Ophion for the day and go outside with Hagrid. Severus had checked with Hagrid, swearing him to take care of Harry and in no case to enter the forbidden forest. Harry was now on the grounds, playing with a stray black dog, Hagrid had assured him, was quite had decided to see how to purchase a firebolt for his son. He was currently kneeling in his grate discussing this with a nervous clerk in Diagon Alley.  
"I am really sorry..."  
"No doubt you are!", Snape snapped "I want to buy the most expensive broom you own and you refuse!"  
"I did not refuse, sir. Just... the one we had here was bought just a few days ago and getting another will take time. And christmas is next week..."  
"Exactly! It was supposed to be a present for my...", he caught himself "...my nephew. There is no possible way you can make it until Christmas then?"  
"No and again, sir, I offer my sincerest..."  
"Shove it! What can you offer me?", Snape snapped angrily  
"A gift card, sir. We will expressedly state that it will be a firebolt the boy gets and he will receive it as soon as possible. Before the start of next term, I promise. And of course I will give you a discount because of the inconvinience..."  
Severus growled "Very well, then. Send it per owl post."  
"The child's name? What message should we include?"  
"Leave the sappy standard text out, I will write something myself.", Severus decided, too careful to even say "Harry" or "Harold"  
He crawled backwards and stood up, seeing the last remaining green fire die in his grate. He hated this kind of communication...

* * *

Harry was chasing Black around the grass and having quite a lot of fun with the wolfish dog. He was similar to Fang in that he looked forbidding but was good tempered. He seemed to like Harry a lot and always found a reason or other to lick his face.  
"Oi! Stop it, Black.", Harry laughed when the dog was again standing on his hind legs and licking Harry's cheek "Yuck! Stop!"  
The dog dropped back on all four and looked at him excitedly, wagging his tail. Harry just couldn't be mad at him for long, he picked up the stick again and threw it wide. Black ran after it at top speed, almost looking like horse in sprint.  
"Not too far 'arry.", Hagrid said, carving something with Fang resting by his feet  
"Don't worry.", Harry said easily and smiled at the half giant, at that moment he heard hissing and went down on one knee. As expected it was Ophion  
"The dog smells like the rat... it is confusing.", he hissed  
"Really?", Harry asked interestedly, why would a dog and a rat smell similar?  
"Disgusting creatures, dogs.", Ophion remarked lazily, and Harry looked up alarmed as he saw Black returning with thundering steps. He quickly picked up the small snake as the giant dog reappeared. He proudly presented the stick to Harry  
"Good boy!", Harry praised, throwing the stick again, this time a little further away. He put Ophion back on the ground "Better stay away from the dog, I'll call you when we leave, alright?"  
Ophion slithered away hastily.  
This time Black returned with a different stick and made Harry laugh by chasing his tail for a while. It was almost as if he was entertaining Harry. Harry played a little longer and then called Ophion back, they returned to the castle where he ran into the twins.  
"Where were you, Harry?", Fred asked  
"We wanted to give you an early Christmas gift.", George added.  
"Playing with Black outside.", Harry said and turned to show them, but the dog had already disappeared from sight, Harry shrugged "What present?"  
"Behold!", Fred said, taking out a blank parchment "The secret to our success."  
Harry looked unimpressed until George tapped and activated it "I solemly swear that I am up to no good."  
When Harry saw what it contained, he knew immediately what he would do with it. It did not take him long to bring his invisibility cloak and then slip away into the villiage.

* * *

He came up behind Ron and Hermione and poked them simultaniously into their sides. They both gave girlish cries and heard Harry laugh in response.  
"Harry!", they both said, Hermione in a disbelieving and Ron in a half impressed, half annoyed tone  
"Yep!", Harry said, feeling quite smug  
"You are not supposed to be here!", Hermione snapped and looked around nervously  
"How did you do it?"  
Harry told them about the marauders map and at Hermione's disapproving look added "How else am I supposed to get all your presents?"  
Hermione still looked unhappy but agreed that it would be difficult for him. So they set out to hunt for presents and Harry was in a good mood, when they were standing outside the fence to the Shrieking Shack. That changed when they heard a very hatefull voice  
"Hey Weasley, shopping for a new home? It would be an improvement.", Malfoy said, grinning and his companions laughed stupidly.  
"Shut up Malfoy!", Ron said, his ears going red but before Malfoy could continue taunting Ron, Harry had already scooped up some snow and thrown it right into his face. Malfoy spluttered and looked around wildly.  
"What? Who was that?"  
"Your conscience maybe.", Hermione sang "Oh, I forgot, you don't have one."  
At that Crabbe and Goyle got a face full of snow and shoved each other out of the way to leave as fast as possible. Malfoy was the only one who looked back and right in time to see Harry slip a little from laughing so hard, so that his face was uncovered. Hermione saw his triumphant look and turned sober immediately. She sent Harry away directly, dividing his presents between herself and Ron to bring into the castle.  
Harry left and succeeded into getting to the castle first. But he had to go up and put away the map and cloak before he could try and find an innocent occupation. He decided to go into the library but his plan was smashed by Professor Snape standing with crossed arms in front of the entrance.  
"Mr. Potter.", he said, in the same tone that he had exclusively used with Harry during the first year of his schooling "Follow me."  
Harry knew he was in for it, he just had to decide if he wanted to admit to everything or pretend he didn't know what happened. From the way Severus threw open doors he decided to go for the innocent look.  
"What were you thinking?", Snape screamed the moment the door to his quarters closed behind them.  
"What?", Harry asked, trying hard to look young and innocent.  
"Don't even try that!", Snape snapped "I know exactly where you went and what you did! How dare you? I trusted Hagrid with your safety and..."  
"It wasn't Hagrid!", Harry jumped to the half giant's defence immediately, regretting it the next moment  
"Then how did you get out undetected?", Snape asked, narrowing his eyes and resembling a panther ready to strike. Harry gulped  
"Well... I met the twins...", Harry saw Severus draw a deep breath for the coming rant and rushed his explanation "They gave me this map and I went under the cloak."  
That forestalled the storm some "Map? What map?"  
"Its a map of Hogwarts, it shows all the secret passageways.", Harry admitted in a defeated tone.  
Snape's mouth opened slightly in shock "Bring me the map and the cloak. And tell both Mr. Weasleys to come to my office after dinner."  
Harry opened his mouth to protest but decided against it when he received a glare "Now!"  
When Harry returned and gave him the map, he couldn't believe the boy's foolishness.  
"You received a map of Hogwarts that pinpoints everybody's location and you did not give it up to an adult immediately?", he asked incredulously "A murderer is on the loose! What do you think he'd do with it? You endangered everyone in this castle by your idiocy!"  
Harry looked down at his feet, pressing his lips together in an attempt to stop their quivering. It had been a long while since he had been screamed at and berated like that. He wasn't used to it any longer.  
"Of course, some of the fault lies with the twins as well, I'll be writing to their parents after having a little chat with them. I had expected better from you. And to leave the grounds when I expressedly told you to stay here – I cannot believe you!"  
"I wanted to buy presents."  
Snape actually hissed at that and pressed his fist to his forehead "Harry!"  
Harry flinched at the exasperated and angry cry of his name and hugged himself tightly. Snape seemed to come to his senses at that  
"You will be staying here for the rest of the day. Put Ophion back and keep to your room."  
Harry nodded dejectedly and then quietly closed the door behind him. He knew Severus was only trying to reign in his temper before he would talk to him again. Harry dreaded that conversation. He detangled Ophion from his wrist and put him back into his terrarium.  
"Harry's father is angry. He was saying nonsense.", Ophion commented and Harry looked at him confused  
"Nonsense?"  
"He talked Parsel."  
That made Harry snort, Ophion had tried to understand the hissing sound coming from the angry Snape. Harry put back the lid on top of the terrarium and sat on his bed with hunched shoulders. When Severus didn't enter after several minutes, he layed back. The fear from the punishment that was sure to come was rising gradually. He had been so stupid, he had broken a ton of rules and he had disobeyed Severus. To top it all of he had endangered himself and others. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. What kind of punishment would he receive for that? It was sure to be something dreadful. Maybe Snape would cancel Christmas. Harry's eyes snapped open at that... Oh no! He really hoped Severus wouldn't turn all Grinch on him. Then again, that didn't seem to be Snape's style. Before second year, Harry would have said tumbscrews would be his style, but that didn't shape up as well. Harry had never been in such a fix with Severus before. They usually got along just fine and Harry was normally one to follow rules. Mostly.  
They had never talked about punishments... Did Severus believe in smackings? He felt his face burning, that would be utterly humiliating! And painfull... Harry fidgeted on the bed. He really hoped that wouldn't happen. Would Severus use the same punishments he used as a teacher? Somehow Harry didn't think so... He was jerked from his thoughts when Severus silently opened the door and light from the living room flooded in. Harry sat up immediately and looked up at Severus, his heart beating in fear.  
Severus was standing, with the light behind his back, his shoulders hunched, his head bent. What was with this posture? Severus never looked like that. Was he drunk? Could someone get drunk that fast? Oh god! What would he do to him, if he was drunk?  
But Severus looked up and the devestated look he gave Harry let his stomach drop. This could not just be about his punishment and rule breaking. Harry felt a different kind of fear take hold of him. He sprang up and walked a few paces up to Severus  
"Dad? What happened?"  
Severus stretched his hand out and cupped his cheek. Harry could see his adams apple hopping when he swallowed hard. Only now did Harry realize that Severus was only wearing his shirt and trousers and no robes.  
"Tobias is dying.", Severus said with a thick voice "We are to go there as soon as possible. I wanted to ask if you would rather stay or come."  
Harry's mouth opened in utter shock, his brain froze. What? That was impossible. It couldn't be. He was searching Severus' features for a lie. Was this his punishment, to make him believe Tobias was dying? But in the back of his mind he knew that Severus would never be so cruel to him.  
"I wanna come.", Harry said, giving a hopeless look. Severus nodded and gave him the invisibility cloak, then led the way out of his quarters, the castle and grounds, up to the apparition point.  
He did not open his arms to let Harry hug him but kept taking deep breaths  
"Dad?"  
Severus shook his head "I need to concentrate or we will splinch."  
He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, he seemed to be back in control. It was eerie, how he could go from devestated and scared to calm and collected in a few seconds. That was something only Occlumency could achieve. He silently opened his arms and received Harry's hug. He gave a shaky turn and landed stumbling quite ungracefully, with Harry toppling over and falling.  
"Ow!", Harry said, picking himself up  
"Are you alright?", Snape muttered  
"I'm fine."  
They walked up to the hospital, were received and led to Tobias. When they entered the room the man's laboured breathing was filling it up. Snape immediately disregarded everything else and sat at his side, taking his hand. Tobias opened his eyes at that and smiled weakly.  
"Sev.", he said and his voice was barely more than a whisper "You came."  
"Of course, father.", Severus said, squeezing the hands.  
"Where's Harold?"  
"I'm here grandpa.", Harry said, stepping forward. Severus took him by the arm and pulled him to his side, letting go after that to grasp the old man's hands again firmly. Harry leaned on him, infinitely glad that Tobias remembered him.  
"I adopted him, father. He is truly my son now."  
Tobias smiled at that and looked fondly at Harry "My grandson."  
Harry smiled and nodded, never having felt so proud for anything in his life. Tobias tried to reach out to him, but his hand and arm were trembling so much, Severus had to aid him to put his hand on top of Harry's head for a while.  
Tobias went silent after that and Harry felt completely useless, just staring at the man in silence. Beside him Severus was caught up in a battle of mind and heart. Talking to Marty had cleared things up for him and made him realize what needed to be done before Tobias left. He had argued and battled with himself, with her even, if he should say it. Half of it, he was sure, was a lie, only said to sooth a dying man's wounded soul. But looking at his frail father and having Harry lean on him, made the decision. He would want Harry to forgive him for his past mistakes when he was dying: the death of the Potters, the way he had treated him in first year... How could he expect it if he never gave it?  
"Father.", Tobias opened his eyes lazyly "I wanted to say... I forgive you, for everything that went wrong between us. I forgive you for mum and all you couldn't do." Tears were welling in the dying man's eyes now and there was a last begging in them, Harry would never understand. Because Harry was too kind, too good, even if he had lacked care and love for more than 10 years. The first year of his life was filled with so much love and care and happiness, that it was not possible for him to understand these two jaded adults in this moment. He had never begged for forgivness nor love he did not deserve. But Severus did and he provided the last comfort he could give, even if half of it was a lie "I love you and I believe it is time to let you go."  
Tobias closed his eyes and took a long breath, crying silently and nodded. He mumbled something that Severus could barely make out as "Thank you". Harry stiffened and looked nervously between them. "Grandpa?"  
But grandpa wouldn't answer anymore. He was drawing his last breaths, waiting for death to claim him. Son and grandson looked on, silently waiting for him to slip away and at the same time anxious for it not to happen. When it did happen, it was just a moment, hard to even believe. From one to next he was gone and only the madly beeping machines gave any indication of the difference between now and then. A thought hit Harry at that moment, quite forcefully: had his parents gone the same way? One moment they were alive and fighting and the next a jet of green light stopped their heart, stole their life. Tears sprang to his eyes at this and he leaned closer to Severus, who immediately wrapped him in his arms, needing the comfort himself. They looked on for a while, watching the light dance on the peaceful face of Tobias Snape.

* * *

The time following was full of dichotomy. As Severus had had long notice of Tobias coming death, he had prepared everything that needed to be done. This was a blessing and a curse. On the one side he had nothing to worry about, on the other he had nothing to occupy his mind with. They had been lucky and unlucky as of the timing of Tobias' death. The following day term ended and all students left, as Black had still not been caught and their parents and caregiver wanted them safely back at again, Christmas was looming at the end of the week. Looming because even if they both had happily anticipated the holiday, now they both dreaded it. It was their first Christmas as father and son, the first they would spend together and it seemed overshadowed by the death of a man that had meant so much for them in their respective ways.  
Harry, like Dudley, had never known his grandparents. Tobias was the first and only person to fill this role and Harry had enjoyed the pampering and unconditional love. It had been a short time but it still left a gaping hole in his chest to loose the man. At the same time he felt like betraying the man's memory as he felt relieved for his father. Severus would not have to put on an act and lie to give comfort to the sick man. He would not have to gulp down his own feelings of anger and resentment towards Tobias any longer. Whenever Harry was alone after Tobias death, he found his eyes drawn to his cupboard and at times – mostly when he was sure Severus would not be looking for him – he sat in there and closed the world off around him. He took a few deep breaths then and leaned back, letting go of all emotions. It felt safe and good to sit there in the darkness, enveloped by its warmth. Like this, he was even now sitting underneath the clothes Severus had given him and hugging his legs to his chest.  
Severus sometimes felt like time was dragging on endlessly, mostly when he tried to distract himself from what had happened. Then again time sped up to a frightining speed, when he started contemplating his relationship to his father and why he felt so... empty right now. It was surprising to not feel what he had expected to feel and more so, to not feel anything at all. He was in a state of shock, even though he had known for a long time this would happen. It was hard for him to think the word "death". He thought about all of the things, good and bad, that had happened between him and his father. But most of all he thought about him and Harry. He thought how unfair it had been to introduce someone to the child's life he knew to be, literally, short lived. He had attached himself to the old man and Severus could see how much it hurt his son to loose the man he considered his grandfather.  
Conversation in Severus' quarters was next to non-existent. This was no surprise as they both had a hang for long silences when they randomly thought about the deceased. Severus sighed and rubbed his face, thinking about Harry had brought on the strange urge that filled him now and again since that fateful day. He wanted to keep checking on Harry, see if he was alright. He had looked in on the sleeping child several times last night, even waking up in the middle of the night. He could only sleep when he had seen the rise and fall of his son's chest. And now it had taken a hold of him again. Usually he didn't do it while Harry was awake as he didn't want to alarm him. But he did feel that Harry had been left alone long enough now.  
He knocked softly on the door and when no answer came, opened it quietly. He looked in and had a dejavu, when he found the room empty and his heart hammering in fear. But this time he knew where to look. He went straight for the cupboard and opened it, to find his child asleep in it.  
Severus went down to his knees and stroked the messy curls out of his closed eyes. Harry's cheek was pressed against one of his arms, that was squeezed between him and the cupboard wall. He had his arms, loosened by sleep, around his knees, that were too leaning against the frame of the cupboard. Severus looked at him, waiting for his heart rate to calm down. Then he picked the teen up, realizing that Harry had gained weight in comparison to last year. He felt quite pleased by this as he laid Harry on the bed.  
"Papa?", Harry mumbled, when he came into contact with the cold sheets.  
"Got to sleep.", Severus whispered, Harry mumbled something and rolled on his stomach. Severus put his hand on the messy black hair for a moment. Then left the room, satisfied for the moment, that Harry was very much alive.

* * *

Severus was not listening to his colleagues low chatter in the staff room, the funeral feast having been held at Hogwarts. All his colleagues had been surprised to find Harry here, all but Albus, Minerva, Lupin and Sinistra. Harry had felt distincly uncomfortable and tried to not look too sad, as not to show his relationship to Severus and Tobias. Dumbledore had explained that he had custody of Harry now and he would stay with him during Christmas in Hogwarts. Harry had picked a black outfit and was glad when he saw that he fitted right in with all others. He hadn't been sure how the custom was in the Wizarding World. Uncle Remus had kept his distance from his father, only giving a short condolescence and then leaving him be. To everybody's wonder it was Aurora who was sitting beside him, conversing quietly. They would stop their conversation whenever anyone drew near, so the others kept their distance, asking McGonagall and Albus about the details of Tobias' passing. After a while Harry couldn't contain his curiosity anymore and drew nearer to them. Aurora stopped talking but Severus said "Its ok."  
Aurora gave the boy a doubtful look, then said "Yes... so I do believe you should not feel bad about that. I know from experience how conflicting these emotions can be. Don't beat yourself up about it. It was all part of him and your history. In the end no one can take one simple truth from you: you were father and son."  
Severus nodded at that and sipped his drink, seeming deep in thought. Harry just wanted to be near him to comfort him somehow. But being in between all of the teachers, he had no chance to and it would seem strange to them, so he left after a bit, glancing back every so often. Professor Sprout approached him and said  
"Did you give your condolence?"  
Harry gave a non-committal sound at that, surprised to find her talking to him. She seemed to have taken pity on the lone student in their midst.  
"That is very nice of you. Of course you two had your differences, but everyone noticed that you grew closer as your talent emerged."  
Harry gave a weak smile at that, she had no idea!  
"Still, such a personal situation must be uncomfortable for you. I am glad you still plucked up the courage to approach him, that was brave and he will respect you for it.", she smiled kindly and Harry felt rather bad for lying to her through his silence "Forgive me if I'm being too bold and you don't have to answer. But did you ever visit your parents' grave?"  
Harry felt like she had smacked him around the face, he opened his mouth but nothing came out of it. He simply shook his head, not trusting his voice.  
"You should talk to Albus – that is, the headmaster – if he can take you sometime.", she said kindly and then saw that Madam Pomfrey was waving, she excused herself to ask her what she wanted, leaving Harry confused. His uncle saw his agitation and quietly came up to him.  
"Hey Harry, what's going on?", he whispered, taking him by the arm and leading him a little way away.  
"I...", he closed his mouth, when he felt his throat constrict with emotion. He avoided Remus' eyes. Lupin waited for a moment, then gently prodded "What did Professor Sprout want from you?"  
"Nothing.", he said quietly, still fixedly staring at his shoes "She asked if I had ever seen my parents' grave."  
Remus put a hand on his shoulder "Have you?"  
"No.", Harry choked out, shocked about his own reaction to the simple question "I... never even thought... I..."  
And Remus understood. Harry was feeling the exact same as he had felt when he learned about the boy being abused by the Dursleys. Like an idiot, for never even thinking, never checking, never doing anything. He felt guilty and ashamed, because he had never even considered to visit his parents until now.  
"Its not your fault.", Remus whispered "The Dursleys never talked about them, didn't acknowledge their existence, I presume." Harry nodded "Of course you wouldn't get the idea."  
"But after I got here, after I learned about the truth and how they had died...", Harry looked up desperately "I should have... And then I let Severus be... let him adopt me... What would they think? I forgot about them, I replaced them."  
Tears were now pooling his eyes and Remus understood that it wasn't simply Harry feeling guilty about what he just said. He was grieving for Tobias Snape and that brought back the grief he had never been allowed to have for his parents' death. Remus felt his heart breaking at the realization. He took Harry in his arms, at which point Minerva joined them.  
"Is everything alright here?", Minerva asked, trying to ignore the curious stares and whispers of her colleagues.  
"Yes, he was just...", Remus glanced around and dropped his voice "...remembering his parents."  
Understanding spread over Minerva's features and she gave an uneasy look at Severus. He still sat hunched, talking to Aurora, his back to the scene with Harry.  
"I'll take him.", Minerva decided and Remus shook his head. He respected his former Head of House, but he doubted her ability to comfort the young boy who just felt like being orphaned all over again. Minerva shot another look at Severus "Remus, I am sorry for being blunt, but we should take away Harry from prying eyes and Severus would go insane if he went with you alone. Please lets just take him to my office to have some privacy."  
Remus looked angry for a moment, then looked at Severus, who chose that moment to drink a shot of the same liquid he had once shared with him. Then he nodded briskly and supported Harry out of the room. When they had reached her office, he deposited the boy in a chair and gave him a handkerchief.  
"Remus, please leave us alone.", Minerva requested softly, Remus wanted to argue but she gave him a stern look "Inform the headmaster and Severus where Harry is. Tell him nothing of why he is here. You may say he wanted to talk to me privately."  
Remus seemed undecided but left after stroking Harry's hair one last time. Minerva sat down beside Harry, who resolutely looked at his lap  
"Its quite alright to grieve for your parents, Harry."  
"I'm so stupid.", Harry said, kneading the handkerchief in his hand "They've been dead for 12 years and it feels like they just died with grandpa."  
Minerva put a hand on his shoulder and nodded "You have felt the effects of being an orphan all your life. But just now, when you have gained a parent, will you have actually realized what you missed all these years. It is quite understandable that the loss of a close person would bring up these emotions. Its perfectly natural."  
Harry shrugged at the explanation, it sounded a lot like something Marty would say. He found himself wishing he could see her now and talk to her. Marty was just the best, she knew exactly how to handle these embarrassing moments.  
"Well, you will only have to ask Severus and he will take you to see them whenever you wish.", Minerva said, squeezing his shoulder "Now, lets take your mind off things. Would you like to play chess? I heard that Mr. Ronald Weasley is quite the force in this game and he has been schooling you since first year."  
And so Harry found, to his surprise, that Minerva McGonagall had the talent as well to bridge such awkward, emotional and embarrassing moments.

* * *

It took Severus a while to extract himself from Aurora's soothing company. He had found that she had quite a lot of similarities with him. Especially their upbringing had been comparable. She understood the guilt, sadness and relief he had begun to feel once emotions came back to him. Her words had felt like balm on his conscience. When he looked up from their comfortable silence, she was sporting a glass of amber liquid and she gave a sad little smile. He was grateful for her to have shared her personal experience with him and he would keep her secrets. And he understood perfectly how raw and open she must feel right now. He leaned forward and shortly put his hand on her forearm "Thank you."  
She looked surprised, then nodded. He decided to give her some space and stood up to walk around. Most of his colleagues had left, when they saw that there was nothing they could give him expect their condolescences – Aurora had taken it upon herself to be his saviour. When he looked around, he immediately stiffened. There were a couple of people missing he certainly did not want missing together.  
"All is fine, Severus.", he heard the headmaster from his right and turned to look at him "Harry is with Minerva. You can go pick him up."  
Severus nodded and after one last look around the staff room, left. When he reached Minerva's door and raised his hand to knock, he stopped dead. He had heard a sound from within. He listened closely and felt surprised to hear laughter. A smile krept up to his face as he carefully opened the door and peered in. Harry's back was to the door and he could see Minerva's stricken expression as Harry laughed  
"Well... I believe you won, Mr. Potter. Again."  
That, for some reason, made Harry laugh again. Severus felt like he wanted to stand here and listen to that wonderful sound for the rest of the evening. It felt like ages when he had last heard his son laugh. But at that moment Minerva spotted him and smiled  
"Your son is quite the capable player."  
Severus entered and saw Harry turn around to look at him guiltily. He came up to the board and casually put a hand on Harry's shoulder  
"He flattened you.", Severus observed with a smile, Minerva smiled back.  
"Ah, I thought if I could never beat his Dad, I might be able to beat him.", Minerva gave a fake sigh, that had a giggle escape from Harry. He stopped immediately and Severus felt his muscles stiffen. He squeezed the child's shoulder, trying to tell him that he did not take offence to his happiness, quite the opposite  
"Well, if my son has shown you up enough for one evening, I would like to take him back now."  
Minerva huffed and nodded.

* * *

Back in their quarters, Severus was surprised to hear what Harry had to say to him.  
"Daddy, can we go visit my parents one day?"  
He had said it quietly, not looking at him and his voice had sounded so young and vulnerable. He looked so fragile and still too thin. And Daddy? He had never used that word before, Severus doubted he realized he had now. He was too preoccupied to be anxious about his father's answer.  
"Of course, Harry.", Severus said, putting one arm around his shoulders and steering him to the sofa "Sit down, I'll make you some hot chocolate."  
Harry looked up and smiled at him. Severus was struck with how red his beloved green eyes looked. He had been crying. Severus felt a surge of warmth and gratitude towards Minerva who had taken care of him, while he himself was unable to.  
"You make the best hot chocolate, Papa."  
Severus smiled at that and got busy, contemplating how much had changed between them since the last time Harry had said something similar to him in the summer. Now he did not mind being called "Papa" or "Dad" or even the new addition "Daddy". His responsibilities still filled him with anxiety, he had so much to achive with Harry. But strangely, now he felt confident that he would form a responsible, happy and healthy adult out of him.  
When he returned to the sofa with two cups, Harry had taken a blanket and was huddled in a corner of it, staring into the fire he must have lit. Severus sat beside him and they shared a few minutes of comfortable silence, sipping their hot drinks.  
"Can you tell me something fun you did with grandpa?", Harry asked suddenly, looking curiosly at Severus. Severus looked quite surprised and thought about it for a moment  
"When I was little I enjoyed to go to the fair and he would never let my mother take me alone, but insisted he go with us. He would carry me on his shoulders and ride everything with me I was too scared to ride alone." Severus smiled, while contemplating this "I remember how my mother used to laugh whenever he tried to shoot something for us and failed miserably. But I was happy for whatever he got me."  
Harry smiled too at that.  
"Actually...", Severus suddenly said and then stood up to disappear in his bedroom. He came back soon after with a foto album and sat back down. Harry scooted closer until he was leaning on his father and looked in. Severus flipped the pages until he came to a picture, where an obviously much younger Tobias had his small son on his shoulders and was presenting a miniscule golden cup to the camera. With the other hand he was holding onto his six year old son's leg and Severus was clapping enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. Severus caressed the picture slowly and said quietly "He was my hero then."  
Harry felt almost afraid to ask, but still took the leap "When did that change?"  
"I always knew they had problems, it was hard not to. But he had never been violent before. He lost his job, started drinking. Then he hit my mother and I felt like... he died to me that day."  
He gave a dry laugh "You can always say that, but in the end they stay with you, your parents, until they actually die. Whatever they do or say, they are your flesh and blood and no one can take that away. Even if you wish you could."  
Harry looked up at him with a guarded expression and Severus returned it, before he seriously said  
"You know, you are very lucky you had parents like the Potters, even if only for one year. They loved you enough to die for you."  
Harry waited a moment, before he responded "I am very lucky now, too."  
Severus nodded and answered with a smile "I am as well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> well things are happening quite fast aren't they? First the adoption, now this! I had a very distinct plan with this chapter, which was to make you guys feel conflicting emotions. You know, at one time you are feeling happy for Harry to have hit Malfoy with snow and the next you are afraid about the punishment and then it only gets worse. I sprang Tobias' death on you because of that. You were supposed to feel the same shock and disbelieve the characters face, even though it was clear it would happen sooner or later. It is kind of a bittersweet chapter that is overshadowed by Tobias death but has rays of sunshine in it. I guess you see that I am very pleased with the way it turned out - what did you think? Did you go through the rolercoaster of emotions or did one of them smother the rest?
> 
> Little note: I will probably not make it with the next chapter in time for tuesday, Friday should be possible though.


	8. Chapter 8

**Christmas**

Harry lay anxiously in bed at Christmas morning. Their home had been under the shadow of a perpetual gloom since Tobias' death and none of them seemed to look forward to the festivities any longer. But as he saw the eerie light from his window – their rooms were underneath the black lake, the light always had a greenish-blue tint – came in and the morning light cast beautiful patterns in his room, Harry decided to have a good Christmas and turn Severus' Christmas around as well. Energized by his decision, he jumped out of bed and wrapped a deep blue dressing gown around himself. When he entered the corridor he looked around carefully. Harry walked on tiptoes and opened the door to the living room quietly to peer in.

"Ah!", he screamed, when Severus suddenly grabbed him from behind. Harry spun around.

"Why are you sneaking around?", Severus asked with a grin, clad in green slippers and matching dressing gown.

"I didn't want to wake you.", Harry lied and pouted, he led them into the living room, where a big, beautifully lit tree was waiting for them.

"Excuse my abominable behaviour then. I thought you wanted to frighten me and I wanted to beat you to it.", Severus said, his twitching lips witness to his amusement

"Well, you should be sorry.", Harry said, feigning being offended by this accusation, even though that exactly had been his plan. He sat down on the sofa with crossed arms and imitated one of Severus' scowls "What will you give me in compensation?"

Severus, to Harry's surprise, knelt in front of him and grinned "Oh, how about... this!"

His fingers shot forwards and he started to tickle his son mercilessly, who immediately began laughing and trying to fight him off in between.

"Stop! Stop!", Harry begged, laughing hard

"Ah... What will I get from you in return?", Severus asked, stopping to tickle but still holding on to Harry.

"I don't know, what do you want?", Harry asked, breathing hard and trying to regain his composure.

"Hmm...", Severus quite liked the sight and sound of a laughing Harry and on Christmas no less! He gambled so high, he was sure Harry would decline "A kiss on the cheek would free you."

"No!", Harry said, as expected and shook his head. In the next moment he burst into laughter again as he was attacked. This went on for a while, until Severus trapped one of his feet in his hand and kept tickling him, only pausing to ask if he had enough. It took Harry another 5 minutes until he could fight no more.

"I give up!", he laughed, breathing hard "Stop, please."

Severus released him, giving a chuckle at Harry's defeated looks. His hair was messier than usual and he was practically trapped inside his dressing gown, which had evidently been on Severus' side and trying to strangle the boy during the tickle fight. Harry had blushed red from the effort of fighting him off and his green eyes were sparkling almost as much as Albus'. To Severus surprise Harry sat up and then leaned forward to peck him lightly on the cheek. He drew back immediately and Severus looked quite shocked at the whole display. Harry shrugged and quoted solemnly "Thou shalt honour thy gambling debts" and Severus snorted in amusement.

"Did you go to church?", Severus asked interestedly

"No, not much.", Harry answered and then asked "You?"

"Likewise.", Severus finally turned his attention to the tree in their living room "I think it is time to unpack your presents."

Harry looked up excitedly and then went to dive under the tree and retrieve presents. He threw one to Snape who barely caught it and sat down cross legged to open the other. He unpacked it and held up a Weasley sweater with a grin. Severus laughed when he saw it. Molly had outdone herself, as the back was Slytherin-green and the front Gryffindor-red, the seams accordingly Gray or yellow. Harry grinned and innocently suggested "Maybe she sent you one too?"

"Merlin forbid.", Severus groaned and then finally opened his own box, he put it away immediately

"What is it?"

"Chocolate from my colleagues, we do a not-so-secret Santa every year."

"Who had you?"

Severus gave a suffering sigh as the box indicated it could only be one person "Lupin. He may have chosen these rather for you than me."

He showed Harry the inside of the box, which was filled with Harry's favourite nougat pralines

"Cool! But how did he know?", Harry said taking one out and biting into it, Severus raised an eyebrow and the boy added "Oh, you told him."

"Indeed."

"Who did you get?"

"Minerva.", Snape answered and then smiled maliciously "She received a tea-cosy in tartan."

Harry looked amused and confused at the same time.

"She understood.", Severus said, then nodded at the other presents.

Harry threw another package and drew one to himself. He began looking at his friends' presents for himself and Severus opened presents from business partners, that were are related to the work he had done for them. As Harry chose the next for him, Severus jokingly cautioned "Please don't throw that."

Harry rolled his eyes at him and gave him the dark bottle.

"The headmaster insists on giving me liquor every Christmas.", Severus explained "Merlin knows why."

Harry shrugged and returned to his small pile, when he had gone through all his presents, he looked up from between them to Severus and smiled. He threw the last package that had Severus' name on it.

Severus unpacked it and saw that it was a picture frame with a signed photograph of Owell in his orange Cannons uniform. Severus smiled at the picture, enjoying their little joke and remembering their Quidditch training during the summer. "Well chosen."

Harry grinned and said "Say 'my son' to it"

Severus looked surprised and then said "My son."

The picture in the frame changed to one of Harry as a toddler, trying to eat a toy dragon. Harry had presumably taken it out of his album and maybe Miss Granger had helped him copy it. Severus smiled in appreciation of the present. He could put up this frame in his office, without having to fear detection. Even if he switched the picture to his son's, few people would recognize the podgy child as Harry Potter, especially because he lacked the distinctive scar.

"Very well chosen, Harry."

Harry grinned proudly and said "You can change the picture when... He is defeated."

Severus quite liked the sound of that and appreciated the present more because it matched so well with his own.

"Accio Harry's present.", he said and the card flew into his hand. Harry immediately recognized the logo of the Quidditch supply store in Diagon Alley and eagerly reached out. For a moment Severus considered batting his hand away just for the sake of it, but then relented and gave it to him. Harry opened the card and laughed at the picture, that was tucked inside.

It was of a very young Severus, maybe eight years old, trying to learn ice scathing. His mother was holding his hands and skating backwards. Tobias came into the picture, obviously having lost control of his skating and rammed into them. They all fell, Severus landing on his mother, who laughed and hugged him. They stood up shakily and the picture repeated itself. Harry smiled and said "Thank you", putting the picture behind the card and reading the text.

"Happy Christmas!

This is a gift card for Quality Quidditch Supplies. Do not worry your little pumpkin head, the amount is enough to cover a high standard broom.

Dad"

Harry smiled at his father, slightly annoyed at the 'pumpkin head' comment, it seemed to become a favourite of his fathers'. Harry cocked his head and asked"High quality or..."

"It will not be a firebolt, Harry.", Severus said sombrely "Regard it as your punishment for leaving the school last week."

Harry nodded at this and secretly felt relieved that the punishment was something material. He did not care for things as much as Dudley or even Ron. Another scolding or even the dreaded smacking would have been far worse. But Severus was not up for parenting just now, it seemed.

"Clean up, pack up and then we'll see what we can do next.", Severus ordered and they did just that.

* * *

Harry suggested going out and they took Ophion with them. The creature seemed to like the outing but refused to leave his favourite spot of warmth at Harry's wrist. Harry didn't mind as he talked to Hagrid and played with Fang. Severus sat in a bit of a distance on a bench and watched them until Remus joined him.

"Is he better now?", Harry's uncle asked

"Yes, he is recovering.", Severus answered, his eyes locked on the black mop of hair being chased by the large boar hound.

"Severus, I know you only want to protect Harry but...", Remus struggled to explain how he felt about the restrictions placed on his time with Harry.

"I will tell you what I told him. As soon as Black is caught, I will have no need for restrictions.", Severus said tensely and then added "Please accept it."

Remus looked defiant a moment but then he hung his head and nodded "I do understand, it still feels unfair."

Severus preferred not to answer to this.

"How's his Patronus coming along?"

"We did not practice for a while, but the last time it was solidified further." Remus nodded at this "But I would not have him try just now."

Remus looked at Harry who had been caught and whose face was being licked thoroughly, while he tried to free himself "I agree."

They watched as Harry tried to be stern with the excited dog but failed, because he had to laugh at his antics. Hagrid saved him eventually and led him into the hut, where he presumably helped him get cleaned up. Remus and Severus sat in silence for a while until Harry re-emerged and came straight for them. In the distance they could see Hagrid standing at his door, wiping at his face.

"Did something happen?", Severus asked as Harry reached them, Hagrid disappeared into the hut, now that Harry was _safely_ in the hands of other adults

"Buckbeak.", he answered sadly "They have a hearing for him on the 20th."

"Oh.", Remus said dejectedly "That committee does not treat any creatures with much kindness."

Harry blinked at him surprised and then said "Ah! Werewolf laws..."

Remus nodded shortly in response

"Hermione wants to find a solution, Hagrid said.", Harry continued "I wish I could help."

"You have enough on your plate as it is, Harry.", Severus warned "Between apprenticeship, Quidditch, homework and Patronus lessons, when would you find the time?"

"And no offence, but Miss Granger seems to be quite capable on her own.", Remus added with a small smile "Mr. Weasley could aid her if need be."

"They are not talking. Again.", Harry said and shrugged

"I myself wonder where that girls... ah... finds the time to do all her work.", Severus said, sharing a meaningful look with Remus

"Its creepy!", Harry added "She's so... ambitious..."

"Horrible trait.", Severus answered dryly and made both Gryffindors laugh. He stood up and led them into the warm inside of the castle "Lunch should be served by now."

* * *

When Harry and Severus returned to their rooms, Harry went to put back his shawl, mittens and hat.

"Harry?", Severus called "Did you forget to unpack one of your presents?"

Harry came trudging into the living room "No."

"I thought so.", Severus said scowling at the long box, that had appeared under the tree

"What is it?"

"We shall see.", Severus said and then waved his wand a few times, as nothing happened, he knelt beside the package and opened it carefully. Immediately Harry dropped to his knees as well

"A firebolt!"

"Don't get excited.", Severus warned, then waved his wand a few times more "Call the headmaster."

"Why?", Harry asked him with round pleading eyes.

"We do not know where the package came from.", Severus answered "There is no message. This is a rather expensive broom and it's widely known that you are a Quidditch player. It makes no sense to choose a present like this for you and not at least give a message."

Harry had stood up and now went to the grate and called the headmaster. As he stepped in, wearing midnight blue robes with moons and stars on them, Harry sat down on the sofa.

The headmaster immediately went to the package and cast spells himself, some of them resembling what Severus had tried. He knelt beside his Potions Master.

"I could not detect anything, but better let Filius have a look.", Albus said and Severus nodded, he glanced at Harry.

"How long will it take?"

Albus smiled "I will personally aid him and we will consult Rolanda as well."

"She'd be delighted.", Severus said and stood up, closely followed by the headmaster

"Are you having an enjoyable day Harry?", he asked kindly and Harry, who had expected something about the broom, took a moment to answer

"Oh, yeah... I mean... Yes, Sir.", he said and blushed a bit "Er... what about the broom, sir?"

"Neither the package nor the outside of the broom are hexed in any way. Still we do not know how its magical ability may have been tampered with."

"I could try it out.", Harry offered, completely sure that he would never be allowed to. But he had to make sure.

"No, you could not!", Snape snapped from behind, scowling at him "I have rescued you from a broom one too many."

"You only did it once.", Harry mumbled, trying to ignore the amused smile on the headmaster's face

"And you want to repeat the experience?"

Harry shook his head, pouting.

"I'll take temptation with me.", Albus said easily, picking up the package and Severus nodded at him. Instead of going through the fire the headmaster walked to the door and Snape accompanied him. He thanked him before closing it and turning to Harry.

"So, what do you want to do?"

They ended up making different chocolates again, the way they had last year. At some point Harry offered to make cookies and even though Severus only watched, it was fun to bake with him. When the smell of cookies filled their living room and they sat down together with a cup of tea each, Harry gave a contented sigh. He remembered his desperate wish last year in the infirmary after he had lost all bones in his arm and Snape sat with him during the night. His dream Christmas had just been fulfilled and he felt warmed inside out. Who cared about a stupid broom?

* * *

The next few weeks passed in a blur. There was the start of next term that brought a lot of Harry's responsibilities back. He almost felt like dropping Care of Magical Creatures, his schedule was so packed up. But he couldn't do that to Hagrid and he doubted that any other subject he'd choose instead would have less work. So he gritted his teeth and worked through it all. The relaxing evenings with his father helped a lot. He could go to him with questions and problems and always felt like he had just made a step in the right direction. His father's birthday came and Harry presented him with a self made box of dark chocolate pralines. As he couldn't leave the castle, it was near impossible for a thirteen year old to buy anything. And between Christmas and the 6th of January there was also no Hogsmeade weekend, where he could tell his friends to buy something. His father was rather more please with Harry refraining from doing anything rash than with the present itself, even though he did like it.

His firebolt stayed under inspection the whole time as well and Harry had taken to ask Professors McGonagall, Hooch, Flittwick and Snape repeatedly when he could have it back. When the rest of the Quidditch team joined in asking the former three as well, they snapped and forbade asking anything about the broom. But Harry still pestered his father.

His Patronus lessons were coming along fine as well. His first lesson after the holidays had been somewhat of a throwback as his silver mist looked see through again. His Dad had explained that after a painful experience this could happen. Severus did not want to try if it had affected his Patronus – at least not in front of Harry.

It was the end of January when something exciting finally happened and that was Ron running around the common room with bloodied sheets in his hands, claiming that Crookshanks had eaten Scabbers. This seemed to have finally done it as Hermione and Ron stopped as much as to look at each other.

After enduring their horrible stony silence for an hour Harry had had enough and went down to his father. As he entered the rooms and slipped out of the cloak he said "Please, can you do something to cheer me up?"

"I have just the thing.", his father answered, without looking up "Why don't you ask me what you have been saying since weeks first thing every time I see you?"

"Err... Oh! Is my firebolt back?"

Severus looked up and then pointed to Harry's room. Harry practically sprinted in there and retrieved it, grinning from ear to ear.

"Can I fly it?"

"Not right now.", Severus said "You can take it up to your dormitory today and fly it tomorrow."

"Brilliant! Tomorrow is practice and the day after we play Ravenclaw."

"If you beat them, you still have a chance at the cup, right?"

Harry beamed at him "Yeah and with this, there is absolutely no question if we will!"

Severus gave a low chuckle and said "As my duty of cheering you up is done, I will resume my other duty now."

"Grading papers?", Harry asked hopefully.

"No, testing your abilities. Call your Patronus for me."

Happy to the brim with having the broom back, Harry cast "Expecto Patronum!"

And the silver mist came out again, taking the blurry form of a four legged creature. It vanished soon after but he received an approving nod.

"Very well. Soon I'll be able to introduce you properly to your Patronus.", Harry rolled his eyes at his father's words "In the meantime, meet mine. Expecto Patronum!"

The silver mist from his father's wand immediately solidified and formed – to the wonder of both – a big, majestic stag.

"Wow!", Harry breathed "It looks beautifully, can I touch it?"

Severus nodded speechlessly, he had expected his doe but in front of him stood a stag. He would have thought it was James' stag but he saw differences. This stag was majestic as the one of Harry's biological father but it looked older and had silvery scars. It looked as if it was a stag that had survived many fights and come out stronger than before. He felt a growing pride for his protector and smiled when Harry reached out and it affectionatetly licked his palm. Harry giggled when the stag nudged him with his nose and blew on his hair the way Severus had a while ago before disapparating. In the same way the beautiful creature slowly vanished.

Harry looked up at him with shining eyes and it was this look of wonder and innocence, Severus wished to see more often from him. Potions sometimes caused this with Harry, when he would look up from a book and excitedly ask if they could brew this potion today. It was good to see that there were several things that could produce it, however.

* * *

When Harry walked onto the pitch for the match against Ravenclaw he held his head high. Even his team mates seemed to stand taller, while in close proximity to the professional broom. When Harry came to stand in front of the opposing seeker, he momentarily forgot his pre-game nervousness. She was extremely pretty and it didn't hurt that she was in awe of his world class broom. Her pretty brown eyes were widened and Harry realized – with a little jolt in his stomach – that even her rosy lips were parted. For some reason he blushed and looked away. The command of "mount your brooms" brought him back to his senses and he did. As soon as the air hit him, he flew as though finally free of all his boundaries. So what he couldn't go to Hogsmeade or the forest? He could fly and wasn't that much, much better? Harry started flying circles around the pitch, looking for the Golden Snitch. Cho decided to tail him rather than search for the Snitch herself. Harry grinned to himself. She would never beat the firebolt in a race, so she could tail him all she wanted. But that hadn't strictly been her plan either...

Snape stared into the sky, following Harry with his eyes. The Chang girl seemed to have made an impression on his son, from the short interaction he could see before the match. Severus bit back a laugh, when he saw her suddenly crowding Harry and the boy, instead of tackling her and resuming his search, tried to avoid her. The girl knew exactly what she was doing, didn't she? Harry snapped out of his misplaced gentlemanism as Oliver Wood screamed at him angrily. He glanced at her and returned to his usual cocky Seeker demeanour, ramming into her rather harder than necessary the next time she crowded him. Severus looked at Chang curiously, but she seemed rather impressed than annoyed by Harry's change. It did not took them too long and then they were once again chasing the Golden Snitch at break neck speed, the firebolt surpassing the Ravenclaws broom with ease. But with a warm feeling of pride Severus realized, it wasn't only the high class broom but Harry's skill that surpassed the girl's.

At this moment a shriek stopped their endeavour and for a moment Snape thought indignantly that Chang had tried to distract Harry, but she had stopped as well and was pointing downwards, were a couple of dementors had entered the pitch. Before any of the teacher could so much as whip out their wands, Harry had cast a full corporal Patronus that made Lupins' and Snape's mouths drop open. It was a fawn, much smaller than Lily's or James' or Severus' Patroni, that burst from his wand and chased the cloaked figures, who stumbled and fell in a heap, revealing a couple of Slytherin students.

But Harry, his mouth dropping deed of the day done, turned back to the game and soon closed his fingers around the tiny fluttering ball. Severus smiled softly when Harry caught the Snitch and rose into the air, his fist punching up. That was his boy! Severus glanced around and caught McGonagall, clapping loudly. She shared a knowing look with him and mouthed "tea?". He grinned and nodded slightly. After that he saw he run down to Malfoy and cohorts to accompany them safely back into the castle.

* * *

While Gryffindor no doubt was housing a after-Quidditch-victory-party, their Head of House and the father of their Seeker were having tea in her office.

"That boy is incredibly talented.", Minerva said, sipping her tea "The way he just turned his back on his fully formed Patronus to catch the Snitch... I wish he'd give Transfiguration that much attention."

Severus snorted at that "Yes, but I don't hear you complaining about the Cup he brings to your office every year."

He glanced at the golden Quidditch Cup and the House Cup right beside it. Minerva gave them both a fond look as well "Yes, well... I can hardly complain when I see you defeated, Severus."

Snape gave a an ironical bow at that and she continued "Even though I feel you won't mind to much to give me the Quidditch Cup this year."

"Exactly one seventh less.", Severus responded and raised an eyebrow, Minerva smiled in understanding. They sat together until late night, discussing various subject but always inevitably coming back to the favourite student and son they both loved.

"Chang would be ridiculous not to fall for him.", Severus said with a confidence he had never felt for himself

"Oh, come on, Severus. Don't be so sure."

"Don't 'come on' me! He is a superb Quidditch player, extraordinarily talented in Defense, a Potions protégé at the age of thirteen..."

"Do you really think she cares for his academics?", Minerva laughed "I agree, it is impressive but there are a lot of other talented young boys around."

Snape huffed "Alright, then just look at the boy. Those gorgeous green eyes, the same tousled windswept hair James tried to achieve all his life and Quidditch trained body."

Minerva grinned at him "Are you in love?"

He grinned back and shook his head "I'm trying to see from a teenage girl's perspective. And he is a gentle, good-hearted, brave and loyal friend. She should be lucky he noticed her."

Minerva chuckled and shook her head "To hear you praise James Potter's son – who would have thought?"

Snape squared his shoulders and said "I am praising _my_ son."

"That you are.", Minerva said softly and raised her glass, they had gone from tea to stronger stuff "To Harry."

"To Harry.", Severus agreed readily, raising his glass and drinking to his son. They had both just fallen into a comfortable silence when Minerva heard shouting and looked up, Severus didn't seem to have noticed and in the next moment he brain caught up to why.

"Severus!", she said urgently and his head snapped up at her tone "Something's wrong in the Common Room."

Every Head of House had placed security wards of varying strenght around their student's domains and was alerted to trouble like this. She was already striding towards the door, when Snape sprang up to follow her. They both entered the Gryffindor Common Room a little later to two Weasley boys arguing.

"I tell you it was him!", Ron shouted desperately

"Ron!", Percy said exasperatedly and turned to his Head of House "Sorry, Professor, my brother had a bad dream..."

"It wasn't a dream!", Ron whined, desperate to make them understand "It was Sirius Black!"

Minerva's head snapped to him "Black?"

"Yes!", Ron said, urgently "He was standing over my bed, slashing at the curtains. You can go see them, they are in tatters."

"He's right", Neville added, not having noticed Professor Snape yet and thus retaining his cool "I saw someone run out, it was definitely a grown-up."

Minerva sized them up "What about the other third year boys?

They shook their head and Harry added "We woke up to Ron screaming. But Ophion told me that a man had been there."

Harry raised his wrist to show the small snake wrapped around it. Ophion tried to curl back into the sleeve and Harry hid him again. Minerva stepped out of the entrance and asked the Portrait of Sir Cadogan.

"Was there a man here?"

"Yes, Milady."

"Did you let him in?"

"Certainly."

"What? Why?!", she demanded angrily

"He had all the passwords, read them of a list.", the portrait responded calmly and Minerva entered the Common Room with a white face to Snape asking with a growl "Which of you idiots wrote down the passwords to your Common Room and endangered all of his peers?"

Automatically they all turned to Neville, who looked at the verge of tears, when he nodded at McGonagall.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, boy!", she thundered "Come with me! Mr. Weasley, do you need medical attention? No? Anyone else? Good, Severus, might you stay here for a while?"

Snape nodded curtly.

"I'll be back soon. Mr. Longbottom, you will wait in my office while I inform the headmaster.", she showed the cowering boy out and turned back into the room "I expect you all in your beds by the time I return. If anybody wishes to talk, Professor Snape is at your disposal."

Her Gryffindors sent her an incredulous look and started to go back to bed immediately. All but one.

"Mr. Potter, stay behind.", Snape said, when Harry wavered between following orders and wanting to stay with his father.

When all of the students had gone up, Snape waved his wand several times before he sat down and pointed Harry into one of the chairs close to him. He had pulled up wards to alert him if any of the students came back down as well as silenced their conversation to them.

"Dad... I...", he felt his heart throbbing in his chest "If something had happened to Ron..."

"But it didn't.", Snape said resolutely.

"But if it had! It would be my fault."

"No, it wouldn't.", Snape said with the same firm voice "You did not slash the curtains and you would not have been responsible if something happened to Mr. Weasley."

"But he's after me.", Harry said miserably "If I just..."

"What? Give yourself up to be killed?", Snape snapped angrily "Don't even think about putting yourself into danger."

"But I'm not safe here anyway.", Harry said and sprang up angrily, walking up and down "And I'm putting everyone else here in danger as well."

"Harry, listen.", Snape said "It is not your fault."

"Maybe.", Harry acknowledged "But its true, isn't it?"

Snape stared at him. He couldn't deny that it was true. He had thought the same thing regarding Hogsmeade weekends. But the solution came to him fast and easy. All the more so because it pleased him so much.

"You can stay with me. My wards are probably the safest except the headmaster's and you are with me most of the time anyway." Harry beamed at him "Just make sure to look miserable every time you go down."

Harry looked quite giddy with excitement and went over to hug his father thanks. To his surprise Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him into his lap.

"Dad!", Harry screamed indignantly "I'm not a baby."

Snape pulled him closer to himself and buried his over large nose in the ever messy black hair, before he said "You are safe."

Harry wanted to say something about it, when he realized that Snape was not trying to sooth him but only sounded relieved, trying to make sure himself that Harry was OK. He felt the arms around him tremble.

"He was so close, one bed to the side and you...", Snape swallowed instead of finishing the sentence. Feeling his own fear diminish in his heart, Harry leaned closer to his father and reassured "I'm alright, Papa."

Secretly quite pleased to be sitting in his father's lap after a near death experience, he didn't fight too much to be let go. That was until the Portrait Hole opened again and Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall entered. Harry tried to scramble off, embarrassed, but Severus held him firmly.

"What about Longbottom?", Severus asked icily, holding his son on his lap, even though he struggled to get off.

"He's stewing in my office, I'll retrieve him soon.", McGonagall said, smiling at them "Don't be embarrassed, Mr. Potter, its quite alright."

Harry's face grew even redder at that, trying to fight his father's grip off, in front of his Head of House and Headmaster.

"Headmaster, I believe Harry's presence in the tower endangers the other students. If it is alright I would wish for him to stay in my quarters until Black is caught."

Dumbledore looked at the struggling Harry on Snape's lap and smiled benignly "Yes, quite alright. Mr. Weasley is unharmed?" Snape nodded "Then I will deal with the Portrait. Take Harry down with you, the elves will gather Harry's things and bring them. I will have them leave a note, so his dorm mates are not alarmed."

With that both Professors left and Snape let Harry spring up from his lap.

"That was horrible of you!", Harry said glaring as his father stood up.

"Quite.", he simply answered "But red suits you so well."

Harry huffed and crossed his arms "Unfair!"

* * *

Harry ended up on the sofa in Snape's quarters with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands, while his father got comfortable. When he came back in his sleeping suit and dressing gown, Harry had half of his cup finished.

"Why were you still awake?", Harry asked lazily and took another sip, Severus sat down beside him, casually wrapping one arm around his shoulders.

"I was talking to Minerva."

Harry hummed and finished his cup while leaning at his father's side. When the cup was empty and Harry put it on the table, Snape tugged him to lie down right there, his head in his father's lap.

"What's with you today?", Harry mumbled surprised and too lazy to protest. His father stroked Harry's hair, massaging his skull.

"You have no idea, child, what it feels like to have someone you love come close to death."

"I do.", Harry argued, his voice mumbled because his cheek was pressed against Severus thigh.

"Not like this. Not until you are parent.", Severus answered softly, fear still holding fast to his heart. Sirius was not caught, he would try again, probably until he succeeded. But Severus wouldn't let him, he would kill Black before he dared lay a finger on his son. Severus looked down on the peacefully sleeping child and stopped stroking his hair. His chest was slowly raising and falling, warm breath coming out of his nose. He had no idea of the horrible things Severus knew that Death Eaters had done to children. That he had had to witness. He knew, he knew Black wouldn't finish his pleasure with a mere knife or killing curse. Oh no, he would steal Harry away, torture him and then dispose of the remains in a public area, where everyone could see his handiwork. Snape's stomach clenched painfully. If that happened he would go mad. He had survived Lily's death, but Harry... No, he would find Black and kill him in the messiest way possible. And then he would kill himself, he knew.

He took a sharp breath and closed his eyes, the child meant too much to him, there was no one that even came close. He respected Albus, he liked Minerva, they were his friends. But he would sacrifice them in a blink of an eye if it meant to safe his son. He would never look back. It wasn't healthy, he knew. He should divide his attention and not force Harry to be his only source of love. It was unfair and a much too big burden to place on his thin shoulders. But who else would ever qualify to become as close to him, as dear to him as this child? There had only been Lily. But after her death he had thought there was no way he could ever love anyone that deeply and here he was with her child, thinking the same thing.

Severus shook his head about himself and carefully took Harry into his arms. Standing up with him from the couch wasn't that easy any more, he realized. After Tobias' death he had seen that Harry had dropped back to eating less, but after a few sessions with Marty, as well as visiting the graveside of his parents and grandfather, his appetite had returned. To top the gained weight, Severus had been rather tired out from the day, so he staggered slightly while he walked up to the boy's room. Harry mumbled his protest but stayed asleep. Soon after he had tucked in Harry and watched him take a few deep breaths, to make sure he would not wake when Severus straightened up. Severus brushed his hair away, whispered "sleep well" and then turned to his own room.

* * *

But Harry did not sleep well. In the middle of the night Snape awoke to sniffing. At first he felt confused, not sure he was hearing right but then he turned his head and saw...

"Harry?"

His voice was scratchy and he sat up immediately, blinking hard to make sure it was his son standing in the doorway, crying.

"Dad?", he asked shakily, walking inside "Are you OK?"

Severus brushed his own tangled hair away from his face and said "Of course, what's wrong?"

The boy's lip trembled and he shook his head "I wanted to see if you're alright."

With that he turned around, ready to leave again.

"Harry, stop! Come here."

Harry turned around unsure, shivering with bare feet and came back a few paces

"You had a bad dream?"

Harry nodded, embarrassed

"About me?"

He nodded again, avoiding his eyes

"What happened?"

Harry bit his lip and shrugged. Severus reached out and pulled him closer to the bed, swinging his own legs out of it and trapping Harry in between his knees.

"What happened?", he asked again, his voice still scratchy. Harry, quite unusually, leant forward and hugged him tightly. Snape hugged him back, waiting for an answer.

"Black got you.", he said slowly "First it was like what happened earlier. Ron screaming that Black was there and then I looked at his bed, where Ron was pointing and instead of the curtains it was you there... You had a knife in your heart."

Severus pressed him firmly against his chest and said "It was only a dream, I'm alright."

"But what if he comes here next? What if he hurts you?", Harry asked, his voice high pitched

"Shh.", Snape murmured "Its not going to happen, I promise."

Harry shook his head, still shivering. Snape rubbed his arms and back and said "You're cold, lets get you back into bed."

But Harry, just for a moment, stiffened and held on in a panicky way. Then his training in obedience kicked in and he let go with slumped shoulders. Snape regarded him for a moment and then took a deep breath.

"If you want, you can sleep here tonight."

Harry looked up surprised "Here? How?"

"I have a double sized bed and we are both quite skinny, we'll manage."

Harry shook his head, his cheeks turning red "No, its OK."

"Stop being fussy, its alright. No one will know."

With that he crawled back inside and pulled Harry in as well. Even though the boy had protested earlier, he snuggled right up to him. If no one would know, he could enjoy this, right? They fell asleep soon after, tired and safe.

When Severus awoke he felt warm and incredibly good. He slowly opened his eyes, unsure if he wanted to wake or just stay in this blissful state forever. Then memory caught up to him and he looked down to his son in his arms. Well, he couldn't remember having slept that deeply in a while. Black could have slashed all the curtains in the castle and he wouldn't have woken. To hell with sleeping draughts, he grinned, he just needed to sleep with his son by his side. The memory of another time they had slept in the same bed came back to him. Harry had had a bad dream then too and he had held the child to make him feel safe again. To assure him he was there. The same as today. He stroked Harry's hair from his forehead and Harry sleepily turned his head away. Snape smiled and hugged him closer before he said to Harry "Wake up"

He received grumbling in response and Harry buried his face deeper into the embrace, unwilling to wake up to the bright, cold morning.

"Wake up, pumpkin head.", Snape said teasingly "Open your eyes."

Harry obeyed grudgingly and blinked surprised and confused. He looked up with his bright green eyes and Severus could witness his cheeks turning red.

"Morning.", Harry mumbled and looked away "Sorry."

"Nothing to feel sorry about.", Severus said, letting go and sitting up "Now, better get ready for the day."

With that Severus stood up and left the bed

"Papa?", he turned to his child, with his comically messy hair, sticking up like he had been given an electric shock, and sleepily flushed cheeks "Thanks."

"No problem. Just remind me, if I ever suffer from sleeplessness I only have to snuggle you..."

He caught a pillow just in time, that had been launched at him from an embarrassed teenager and threw it back laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it Tuesday, YAY! Share some pumpkin juice with me (no firewhiskey for you, I'm sure there are minors here).
> 
> So I'm not quite sure about this chapter. I left out the visit to the graveside and only hinted at it, sorry if you expected something more there... This is a largely positive chapter so I hope I could give you reprieve after all the heart wrenching stuff before. But as you saw I couldn't leave it alone until I had at least a nightmare in there. Maybe I should go see Marty, this can't be healthy :P
> 
> Eager for your Opinion!
> 
> Atia


	9. Chapter 9

Harry's Potions Project was coming along slowly. He had found a couple of potions that burned an appropriate amount to be used, but now had to see if the fumes that resulted had any effect. It was a slow going process with many boring tests and it was quite annoying to always have to choose which one of his two best friends would join him this time. Mostly it was Ron, because Hermione was so busy with school work and Buckbeak's trial coming up. She refused to talk to Ron, who still thought Crookshanks had eaten his rat. And she wouldn't let Harry help her for the Hippogryff's trial: "You have enough to do as it is!" Harry thought she was a fine one to talk about having too much to do, but wisely kept his mouth shut. Life had taken a turn to the boring as he was coped up with his father most of the time.

He loved his Dad, he really did, but the man could be insanely annoying. As soon as Harry entered the dungeons, it was "Did you practice for Transfiguration, Minerva thinks if you put your mind to it you could lift your grade up to an Exceeds Expectations. Do you have homework? No? Then practice what you learned today, I don't want you lazing around all the time!"

Harry barely managed not to roll his eyes at his father. Having a teacher as a Dad was going to be such a pain! And then there was obviously Potions. Snape couldn't refrain from stuffing him behind a cauldron the first chance he got. He seemed to think that would help him stay occupied, but Harry thought all the Potions lessons he regularly had were quite enough. He had already had a few rows with his father about this topic. So he would have dearly liked to postpone going down to his father's quarters in favour of research, but Hermione wouldn't have it. So it had turned out that he didn't have to fake the look of annoyance he had to show when going down there.

In his spare time – or when he was supposed to be revising – Harry's mind had developed the tendency to wander to a certain black haired Seeker. He caught himself dreaming of her on several occasions. Quite innocent dreams, of her admiration and friendship mainly. And when he saw her in the corridors he couldn't help but stare, occasionally even craning his neck. But this had ceased when he was caught by a surprised looking, wide-eyed Lupin and turned scarlet. For some reason this had elicited furious whispers from his classmates Parvati and Lavender. As Harry thought them quite silly, he ignored it and soon forgot.

"Oh, its horrible!", Hermione said and sat down beside Harry, who jumped a little. He had been staring at Cho and blushed, but soon realized that Hermione hadn't noticed. She adjusted her bag and turned towards dinner. Harry saw Ron sitting down on the opposite side of the table and rolled his eyes at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Buckbeak!", she said miserably and showed Harry a tear stained note that said Buckbeak's hearing didn't end well and he would be executed. Harry's mouth opened in shock.

"But how can this be?", Harry asked her "You helped him."

Hermione looked even worse at his words "I know! That's all I've got from him. I want to go down today and visit but I'm not sure I'll be able to with all the security."

"Well, I surely won't be!", Harry moped "Snape's going to strap me to a chair the moment he hears of that plan."

Hermione gave him a sympathetic look "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, alright?"

Harry shrugged moodily and said "Take Ron with you."

Hermione's sympathy vanished in a second "No."

"Hermione...", he pleaded

"No! He hasn't said sorry."

"Well, yeah, but you do realize...", she glared at him and he ended lamely "Nevermind."

After dinner Harry went up to Ron and started talking before he could say something, as Harry could see in his eyes it would be something stupid and hurtful "Listen! Buckbeak is going to be executed."

That wiped the look from Ron's face "Oh Merlin!"

"Yeah. Hermione's going down to Hagrid's today to ask what happened at the trial, because I obviously can't."

"I want to go too!", Ron said immediately, with a whine in his voice.

"Check that out with Hermione...", Harry said, looking alarmed, Ron pouted

"Can you at least come with me now?"

"To go where?"

"Up to Divination, I forgot my book."

"Up to North tower?", Harry whined, after the whole day on his feet, he had no desire to walk up all those stairs

"You spent dinner with Hermione.", Ron said angrily "But go down to your Dad if you'd rather."

Harry sighed at that. He didn't want to face his Dad-turned-teacher-monster and he didn't want Ron angry at him. He shrugged and followed Ron up the stairs.

"How's divination going anyway?"

"Boring as hell. Hermione was right to quit.", Ron said "You're not even in her class and she goes on about you in every lesson."

"Really?", Harry asked surprised, Ron rolled his eyes.

"'The most unfortunate one beneath the ceiling of our ancient home'", he cited "'Death knocks on the door of the scarred child'. Crap like that."

"Err... You don't reckon..."

"Harry, mate, she's barmy. You heard McGonagall: she divines a death per year, its her thing."

Harry still felt queasy hearing things like that about himself, when a murderer was after him "You don't think she'll say something when she sees me...?"

Ron shrugged unconcerned and when he saw the look Harry gave him added "Stay down then, I'll just go in and out. Be back in a sec."

With that he was climbing up, leaving Harry behind with their bags. Harry waited, impatient to leave the tower as fast as possible, when he heard Ron's girlish cry. Harry jumped and was on the ladder so fast he barely had time to think. Last time Sirius Black had barely spared Ron's life, this time... No, Harry wouldn't allow it! But the moment he ran into the room it was a woman in bangles and shawls who was holding onto Ron. Harry had seen her before in the school, she was one of the teachers, but she seemed... weird now. She rasped:

" _It will happen tonight. The Dark Lord lies alone and friendless, abandoned by his followers. His servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight... the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master. The Dark Lord will rise again with his servant's aid, greater and more terrible than ever he was. Tonight... before midnight... the servant... will set out... to rejoin... his master..._ "

She let go of Ron and coughed. Ron stumbled backwards and looked wide eyed at Harry, Harry stared back, realizing that it wasn't usual for her to do that.

"Something wrong, Mr. Weasley?", she asked, when she stopped coughing and he shook his head frantically.

"Book.", he croaked and cleared his throat "I just wanted to get my book back."

Trelawney blinked at him, surprised and Ron turned away, grabbing Harry by the wrist and pulling him to the ladder.

"Is that... Harry Potter?", they heard her ask as they scrambled to get down quickly. They picked up their bags and ran, Harry asking "What the hell was that?"

"I have no idea.", Ron said, sounding scared "That never happened before! She didn't seem to remember what she said either. But you heard her right?"

"I heard her alright!", Harry gasped "The Dark Lord returns... was that a... a prophecy?"

"But she's a fraud!", Ron said desperately, slowing down and taking shallow breaths.

"That sounded genuine to me.", Harry answered, breathing hard as well and stopping beside Ron, who looked scared and fidgety.

"What should we do?"

"We need to tell someone, she obviously has no idea.", Harry said.

"Tell what to whom?", they heard a well known voice and spun around to face Professor Snape. Harry felt relieved to the point of wanting to hug his father and surprised when he heard the same relief in Ron's voice "Professor Snape!"

His Dad raised his eyebrow and looked between them "What is the matter with you two? Running in the halls and you, Harry, should be back down in my quarters."

"I know.", Harry said, waving the remark away and stepping up "Listen, Dad. Trelawney just made a prediction."

Snape scowled and corrected "Professor Trelawney, yes. She does that a lot."

"No!", Ron said desperately "A real one."

"How would you know the difference?", Snape asked derisively.

"Her eyes were all misty and her voice was all different... raspy sort of.", Harry said, trying to make his father understand "And she didn't remember what she said afterwards."

Snape stared at him a moment, then said "Come with me. Mr. Weasley, you go back straight to the tower. No detour."

Ron nodded, looking hesitant, but then left.

Snape led him, not down to the dungeons but to Dumbledore's office. They drove up the spiral stairs and Snape tucked at his shirt, completely unconcerned. Harry batted his hands away with a frown. Severus knocked politely while Harry fidgeted beside him.

"Come in, my boys.", Dumbledore answered and they entered. Snape closed the door and the headmaster offered them seats. "What can I do for you?"

"Harry seems to be under the impression to have witnessed a prophecy today."

"I am not under any impression!", Harry said, going red with anger "Trelawney made a prediction, a real one to Ron. I saw it."

"Professor, Harry. Even if she does not teach you.", Dumbledore corrected calmly "May I see the memory?"

"Err...", Harry said confused and saw his father nod.

"Close your eyes and think of the memory.", his father ordered a bit harsher than usual, probably because he was annoyed at Harry's disrespectful outburst and put his wand to his temple. Harry obliged and thought hard about a few minutes before, when Trelawney was telling them about the Dark Lord. When he opened his eyes again, there was a silvery thread hanging from the wand and his father deposited it into a basin, that Dumbledore must have brought to the desk.

"Remain still, while we examine, please.", Dumbledore requested and then nodded to Snape, they both dipped their nosed into the fluid gas and went rigid. Harry stared at them and was relieved to see they were still breathing. They looked like absurd statues, of people who had fallen asleep into their bowl of soup. They stayed like that for a little while until life jerked their bodies again and they raised their heads. Snape looked questioningly at Dumbledore.

"What do you think?"

"Ah!", Dumbledore said and sat down, offering Snape a seat with a gesture "I believe a pay raise is in order for dear Sybill. Two real predictions to date."

Severus stiffened beside Harry.

"What shall we do?"

"What does it mean?"

Snape and Harry asked at the same time, Dumbledore smiled at them.

"I believe the best course of action is for Harry to remain with you at all times. And I do mean all times, Severus.", Snape nodded seriously, the headmaster turned to Harry "It means that tonight Sirius Black will reveal himself and will probably stop hunting you in favour of seeking out his master."

Harry looked at them wide eyed "Then why should I hide?"

"Because we cannot be sure.", Dumbledore said, cutting off an angry remark of his Potions Master "If he leaves today he will most certainly try one last time to reach you."

Harry looked troubled at that but nodded obediently. If he had to face Sirius Black tonight, he would feel a lot better with his father at his side.

* * *

Snape did not talk to Harry or try to occupy him. Paler than usual, he sent Harry to his room. Harry heard him call a house elf and request for it to give something to Remus. Harry went curiously to his door and listened with his ear pressed to it as the House elf popped back and said

"Sorry, sir, Master Potions Master, sir.", Harry rolled his eyes at that "But Master Lupin is not being in his rooms, sir."

"Then find him, wherever he is. This is urgent.", Harry heard his father answer with no little amount of annoyance, his stress leaking into his short temper with the elf. Harry felt bad for it but shook the feeling away. The elf had to find Uncle Remus to give him the Wolfsbane, this was no joking matter!

"He is leaving the grounds master.", the elf replied "Elves is not allowed off grounds."

Silence followed this pronouncement "Very well, leave elf."

Harry heard the popping away sound and then his father's footsteps. It sounded like he was handling paper, when he suddenly exclaimed "Damn it!" and Harry heard his rushed footsteps out of the room and a door slamming. Harry opened the door and looked around. Parchment was still lying on the table and Harry went up to it.

It was the Marauders Map, Harry realized and looked over it. He could see his father leaving the castle at top speed and labels that read "Sirius Black", "Hermione Granger", "Peter Pettigrew" and "Ronald Weasley" clustered together on the grounds. Harry's heart stopped. His friends had wanted to go down to Hagrids and had run into Sirius Black!

Without thinking about it, Harry rushed out after his father. While he was running up the stairs of the sleeping castle, something silvery tried to rush past him and acting on his Seeker reflexes he caught it. It was his invisibility cloak! Thanking his father for summoning it, even if he had done so for himself, Harry pulled it on and left the castle. He rushed up to the point where he had seen his friends on the map and saw his father entering a hole underneath the Womping Willow. Harry followed, pressing the knot the way he had done. Slowly and carefully he lowered himself into the passage and listened. His father's footsteps were loud, which made him realize that he was in too much of a rush to sneak up to Black. Harry disregarded caution as well and ran up the passage. When he finally entered the House he could hear the stairs creaking lightly under his father's feet, it seemed like Snape had finally started using caution. Harry heard people talking in angry voices above and followed. He reached the landing where his father was standing in front of a closed door, listening. Harry didn't have to walk up to it to hear the conversation.

"He's here Remus, he's here!", a man said urgently

"Harry is with Professor Snape!", Hermione shrieked triumphantly and Harry saw Snape's back stiffen at that "You are never going to get him!"

"Get him? Get him?! You think I want Harry? Ha!", Black gave a bark of laughter "I only want to catch one wizard, one person only, who deserves death more than anything."

"How can this be, Sirius?", they heard Professor Lupin's voice, disturbed but still remaining calm.

"They chose the wrong guy.", Black answered miserably "It was all my fault. I thought, no one would think of little Peter. Hiding the truth in plain sight. I was their best man, Harry's godfather, James was like a brother to me. Who better to make Secret Keeper than me, right? But it was too obvious. We took Peter, because if they came for me, if they tortured me, they would never get the answers, see? And why would anybody ever think of him?"

Silence followed, until Remus calmly said "Its the rat? Its him?"

"Yes!", Sirius said impatiently "You don't have to believe me, Moony. Just transform him back!"

"Give him here, Ronald."

"No!", Ron answered "You are both insane! Scabbers has been in my family for..."

"...12 years? He misses a toe, doesn't he? He cut it off when he framed me. They only ever found..."

"One finger.", several people gasped at once.

"Give him to them.", Hermione said suddenly "The spell won't hurt a real animal and if it doesn't work, we'll find out the truth tonight."

Ron seemed to have agreed because seconds after that they heard a bang, like something heavy falling onto the floor. Silence followed again and then a new voice.

"Remus, Sirius... my old friends."

"Friends?", Sirius shrieked, sounding like a madman "I'll show you the friendship you deserve."

There were angry steps and Remus presumably held him back as he said "Not like this, Sirius. Listen to me! We will bind him, bring him to the dementors, free you. Harry deserves the truth, he deserves his godfather back."

"Harry.", Sirius said weekly "Harry has Snape now."

Severus jerked at that but didn't move otherwise.

"He has taken sweet, poor Harry, Sirius!", Peter squeaked "We should take him, we were James' friends. Why should Snivelous have dear Harry? He looks so much like his father..."

"SHUT UP!", Remus and Sirius roared at the same time and from the gagging sound that came after that, Remus must have made sure Peter didn't finish the sentence.

"Harry needs you.", Remus said to Sirius, annoyance still obvious in his voice "Severus has done a lot for him, but he has been through a lot as well. The Dursleys... they were horrible. Harry needs everyone he can get."

"He is such a sweet boy.", Sirius whispered "I played with him on the grounds, you know? As Snuffles. He looks like a carbon copy of James, his face, his laughter, his hair. Only those beautiful green eyes are his mother's. When I saw him with Snape... They really care for each other, don't they?"

"They are good for each other, yes Sirius. I'm glad you can see that.", Remus agreed "I heard the Weasley twins talk about you, that is why I came here. They told me of a great big dog that plays with them and other students once in a while and how he really likes Harry. I knew it was you and that you couldn't be dangerous if you had never taken the chance to grab him then. I needed to hear what it means from you, that's why I came here tonight."

"I saw the rat with the children and they were bringing him back into the castle. I needed to do something, Remus."

Severus took a deep breath and opened the door at that. They all turned and stared at him. He in turn stared at Peter at his feet.

"You little cretin.", he said softly, his voice dangerously low "You betrayed the Potters. You were the one who told the Dark Lord where they were. And when he vanished you hid like the dirty little rat you are. You stole my son's parents, you forced him to endure 10 years of life with the Dursleys. You piece of utter crap."

Snape stared down his long nose at the terrified Pettigrew, quivering under his murderous gaze. Severus rapidly flexed his fingers as if he was aching to punch Peter.

"If there weren't children present I would most likely kill you now, because we only need your body to confirm that you did not die 12 years ago, right? But you know what, you bastard? I can send them away, and then between the three of us, we will see how much we leave for the dementors."

Sirius looked giddy with excitement at the prospect, he stepped forward. But at that moment Snape's gaze fell onto him and he stopped dead.

"I wish, Black, we could. But none of us can go to Azkaban. Even though I wish it wasn't so, Harry needs everyone he can get, that sadly includes you. We will bring the rat into the castle unharmed – mostly."

At that he kicked Peter, so he fell to the side whimpering.

"Harry, take off the cloak.", Severus said and Harry flinched at that. So his father had known all along that he was there. He followed orders, but stayed outside. Black's eyes turned round and big, when he saw him and he opened his mouth "Harry!"

"Don't!", Snape warned and held out a hand to stop Black. "Don't take too many liberties, Black."

Sirius shot him an ugly look and Snape rephrased.

"I mean, he does not know you. Go slow."

At this he lowered his hand and turned to Lupin "I would appreciate it if you could take this vermin up to the school, I will help Mr. Weasley."

Remus nodded and whispered "Thank you, Severus."

Those words contained Remus gratitude for all the trust Snape had shown him for not bursting in and firing hexes blindly at. As well as how he was containing his feelings for Peter in favour of aiding and protecting the children. Snape only nodded and cast a few spells at Weasley to stabilize him enough to be moved.

"Harry.", Black said again, coming up a few steps to him "You heard everything?" Harry nodded "I was Black, I mean the dog."

Harry gulped "Then it was him all the time? He was there in the same dormitory with me for three years, why didn't he...?"

"Voldemort was weak, there was no one to go to. He would only hurt you for his own gain, Harry.", Sirius said, coming up to him and leading him out by the elbow, while Lupin hovered Pettigrew behind them. Snape followed with the two other students, supporting Ron's right side, while Hermione had his arm around her shoulders.

Pettigrew made pitiful whimpering sounds all the way through the tunnel, coughing and crying. Remus was getting irritated but as the most level headed of them all, refrained from kicking him. They emerged from the other side of the tunnel, Sirius helping to heave Ron out of it, with Snape pushing him up. After Ron had ascended they both gave Hermione a hand. Snape was about to emerge too, ignoring Black's hand that had reached for him, when the children all gave cries of surprise and shock. Remus was turning into a werewolf in front of their very eyes. His eyes turning black, the snout forming from his mouth. His wand lay abandoned in the grass, while Pettigrew had landed hard on the floor. The students stumbled backwards, trying to help and support Ron, while Sirius jumped at and held Remus. Severus pushed himself up fast and half crawled, half ran to hide the children behind his back. He felt one of Harry's hands grip his side tightly and a whispered "Daddy?"

Snape jerked when he saw Pettigrew transforming, but his priority was not the rat but his own son's and students' safety. He held them firmly in place while Sirius transformed into the big black dog and chased the transforming werewolf into the forest. When they were all gone only ropes were left of Pettigrew.

* * *

Snape brought the children back into the castle, leaving them with Madam Pomfrey and Minerva under strict orders not to let them out of sight. He sent his Patronus to Dumbledore before he went out to the grounds again, summoning and pocketing Lupins wand. It did not take him long to find Sirius, transformed back, bleeding and hurting near the lake. He knelt beside him and stared, Sirius miserably opened his eyes and looked back.

"Snape", he said slowly and Severus scowled.

"You made my life a living hell back then Black.", he whispered "More than once it was you who initiated the attacks. You made sure I stayed firmly on the other side, you resented my friendship to Lily. Tell me, why should I let you live, why should I give you a chance to be in Harry's life? To poison my child against me? Why should I not get rid of you myself?"

Sirius looked back calmly and then he smiled, a true, genuine smile "You won't, Snape."

"How can you be so sure?", Snape said, scowling and affronted. Did Black think of him as so weak? He had been a Death Eater, he could kill, if need be.

"Because I have seen you with Harry.", Sirius said and swallowed "At first I did not want to see, did not want to hear. I could not believe anyone, least of all you, should be allowed to replace James. But then I saw something with a startling clarity that I had not seen before. You were not the same man, the boy you had been twelve years before. I saw what Harry had done to you and that was something you cannot shake. You cannot stay with someone so pure and good and not be affected, Snape. He has changed you. You will not hurt me."

And now that Sirius had said it, it was impossible to turn back. Silently Snape conjured up a stretcher and levitated Sirius onto it. He had gone up to the castle a few paces, when Dumbledore burst from the entrance, striding forward.

"Severus! I will take him from you, do not worry, the children have filed me in.", Albus said, a worried frown creasing his brow and took Sirius off him "Go, see to your son."

Severus nodded and left Sirius after a short glance and nod at the man he had believed to be his enemy.

* * *

When he returned to the Hospital Wing he was in time to see Minerva dismiss Miss Granger. "Ah, Severus! Be so kind as to take your... To take Mr. Potter with you."

Severus nodded and waved Harry to his side. He walked in a fast pace until they reached their rooms and then closed them firmly behind Harry.

"How's Sirius?", Harry asked immediately "And Remus?"

"Both your uncles will make a full recovery.", Severus assured "I am not sure where Lupin is at the moment, but I think he is roaming the grounds. Black is with Professor Dumbledore."

"I'm glad!", Harry sighed

"How is young Mr. Weasley?"

"He will be alright, Madam Pomfrey said.", Harry answered, going to sit down.

"No.", Severus interrupted calmly and crossed his arms "You will remain standing."

Harry looked at him confused, but that sentence was shortly explained.

"Why did you leave the castle when I and the headmaster had told you to stay here?"

"Actually, he had said to stay with you and you were..."

"Don't even try it, Harold.", Snape said, scowling at him "You knew perfectly well you were supposed to stay indoors. You saw the map and followed me, you took the cloak to hide."

Harry nodded and tried to look repentant, which he was not in the slightest. Severus sighed and pressed the bridge of his nose.

"I am tired, Harry. Your punishment is pending until I can clear my head."

Harry looked up surprised and worried "Everything alright, Papa?"

Severus sat down in an armchair and pointed at the sofa "No. In reality I have to confess something to you."

Harry blinked and sat down.

"Something your godfather said to me just now... It made me realize that I should not keep this information from you, in fact I never should have.", Severus said, folding his hands in his lap "I never even realized myself why I was hiding it from you. But now I know. I was afraid of your reaction, what you would think of me and if you would judge me. You have forgiven me for my role in the Potter's death, but not even you could be so forgiving..."

"Dad...?", Harry prompted and Severus realized he was rambling.

"Yes, well. I will get to the point directly: I have been taking revenge on the Dursleys."

Harry stared at him, then stared some more. The information seemed to just bounce off him "What?"

Severus sighed, not able to meet Harry's eyes "I took revenge on them for their treatment of you. The more I saw how it affected you, how you suffered, I let my frustration out on them. I made them miserable."

"What did you do?", Harry asked horrified.

"I... messed with their heads.", Snape gulped and closed his eyes "I took your cloak and hid beneath it, I went up to them and... whispered things to them. Made them feel bad, listen to things they did not want to hear. It made them nervous and... scared and miserable. I believed I had the right to do that, I believed that I was giving you justice."

Snape forced himself to look up and saw tears in Harry's eyes. He had put them there, it was his fault.

"Harry... I..."

"I don't want to see you.", even though his voice was thick with emotion, his message was clear. Trembling, Harry stood up and locked himself into his room. Severus pressed his lips together and stared at that door. Had he, with his foolish thirst for vengeance, lost Harry's respect, his childish admiration for his adopted father, maybe even his love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Fast forward to the action ;) There was not really much else I needed to say in this story, so I decided to get to the showdown directly. Next chapter will be the end of the story! This series seems to have a thing of not having too many chapters :D But it feels just right. So guys, how did you like my take on the big reveal? I let Pettigrew escape, because he is instrumental in the rebirth of Voldemort and as I said I tried to stay close to canon. What do you think about the end of this chapter? Can you guess why Harry is so upset with Snape for the way he treated the Dursleys?


	10. Chapter 10

Harry's mind and heart were in turmoil when he sat down on the bed. He glanced at the cupboard but shook his head firmly. No, he wouldn't. He crossed his arms and glared into space, ignoring the insistent hissing coming from Ophion's terrarium. After a while, it could have been moments, minutes, hours, his door opened. He fastened his glare onto the person to step in, but stopped when he realized it was his head of house. Professor McGonagall ignored the disrespect and quietly summoned the chair closer to her and sat down in front of him.

"Harry.", she said calmly "Your father spoke to me."

"He is not my father.", Harry retorted angrily, she gave a sad smile.

"Shall I get the adoption papers?", he looked stubborn, but didn't answer "I know you're only angry, but please never say that to his face. How would you feel if he said something similar?"

Harry's heart dropped at the mere suggestion and he instantly felt bad.

"Severus made a mistake, a pretty self absorbed, stupid mistake. But he did it out of..."

"Don't say 'he did it out of love or care'!", Harry snapped at her, scowling "You protect people you love, you give them what they need, you hug them and laugh with them. That stuff you do out of love. You don't torture people out of love."

Minerva looked at him and seemed reluctantly impressed "You are right, of course. I will rephrase it. He did what he did, out of pain. Pain and frustration and helplessness. He never was a father, he did not have time to grow into it. Then he took your responsibility and he's been doing marvellously, Harry, don't you think? It is incredibly hard for him and would be for anybody, to deal with the numerous issues that came up since he took an interest in you. He has been alone with that. And then Tobias Snape died as well. He has been under a tremendous amount of stress and worry over all of these issues and your safety. He needed a let-out."

"That doesn't make it right!", Harry thundered

"No, it doesn't.", McGonagall answered calmly "I am trying to explain, not justify. He saw them as a source the your problem. It didn't seem fair to him that they should go unpunished, while you would be suffering, perhaps forever. It was not the right thing to do. But you need to understand that it was not malice nor evil that led him. It was emotions he was ill prepared to deal with. It was not for him to decide how justice would be served. But as every parent who sees his child hurt, he was seeking revenge, probably under the false impression it would lighten his load or lessen his pain. He has never known any different."

Harry pressed his lips together and crossed his arms "I understand. But I expected... He is not a Death Eater any more and then he does something like that!"

"It was not because they were Muggles..."

"I know!", Harry said "But he planned this and repeated it. How can you say there is no malice in that?"

Minerva kept quite for a moment, before she answered "Death Eaters would do those things for sport, for enjoyment. He did not enjoy it as such. He was extracting revenge, which was wrong, but he did not do it for pleasure. That's what I mean."

Harry gulped and then shrugged "So he wasn't being a Death Eater. It doesn't make me feel much better."

Minerva nodded "I know its horrible. But try to examine your own emotions. Why are you so disgusted with what he did?"

"Because its disgusting! He was acting like them. He isn't like that, he's my Dad. He's supposed to be... different, better!"

Minerva nodded "But don't you feel even a little satisfied? Does it not make you feel like they got what they deserved?"

"No.", Harry answered immediately without thinking and then frowned. That was strange. He hated the Dursleys. They deserved to be treated like crap, to feel the way they had made him feel. They should be punished, they should be hurting. But even though he could think that, he couldn't bring himself to feel satisfied or lightened.

"Harry, have you thought about...", Minerva began, then hesitated and carefully continued "Maybe you sill feel... like you were a burden and it was your fault what happened to you. And being removed from them was more like freeing them than freeing you. So you feel like your father has robbed them of that peace again, even though you are gone and more so because he did it in the name of justice for you. You wanted them to be happy, the burden of your existence finally lifted off their shoulders and he destroyed that. You feel responsible and now you had thought that both parties could be happy and then it isn't so."

Harry's throat tightened up and he whispered thickly "They already lost Dudley, because of me. No!", he interrupted her "They loved him. They really, really loved him. You don't understand. He was their life and my father took him away. That was punishment enough, really. And they had had to put up with me for ten years, even though they never asked for it. I was dumped on them. And then I was removed and I thought 'now they will have the life they wanted'. Then I heard that Dudley had been taken away and I felt bad for them. But I thought 'They weren't treating Dudley right, too'. So it was good for him and then I could live with that. But torturing them like that... It feels unfair. They didn't ask for me, they never wanted me and still gave me all that stuff. They don't deserve to be treated like that, especially not for me."

McGonagall actually looked sick at his pronouncement and took a deep breath.

"Harry. It does not matter if they wanted you or asked for you. The moment they took you and didn't give you up to an orphanage, it was their duty to provide for you. And they did not only fail grossly at that, they intentionally hurt you. They deserve punishment. But in favour of giving you a clean transition and keeping the media away, Professor Dumbledore and your father decided against a persecution. I don't say that it is right what your father did, but it is understandable. You are worth the same as any other child and to Severus you mean the world. Seeing you hurt and seeing the people responsible for it go unpunished – he could not live with that."

Harry felt horrible and looked up at McGonagall "Professor? Can you give my father a message: I really want to see Marty."

* * *

Severus was secretly pleased with the way he had handled the situation this time. As opposed to going into shock, he had called for help. He wasn't that pleased with the way Minerva had growled "Idiot!" at him, when he had explained the situation and asked her to talk to Harry. She had been in there with him for a while now and Severus was getting nervous to the point of turning Lupin's wand in his fingers until it warmed up. He kept glancing at the door to Harry's room until he wordlessly summoned his Christmas present and whispered "My son."

The moving picture of Harry as a toddler appeared. He was excitedly chewing on the ear of a Dragon plush toy, which, being magical, frantically tried to get away from his tight grip. Harry seemed engrossed in his toy, dripping saliva all over it, himself and the floor. Snape's expression softened at the little boy in the picture. His son. He still had the same intensely concentrated look when he brewed potions or tried new spells. He stroked the cool glass beneath which the child repeatedly drooled all over his lilac dragon. Shortly Snape wondered where it had gone, the lilac dragon Harry had been so in love with. The door opened quietly and Minerva came out with a serious expression.

"Severus. Harry just requested to see Marty."

Snape jumped up at that and was nearly at the door, when Minerva held him back.

"Let me see him!"

"Severus, you are not the best person to talk to him right now.", she said coolly "I understand how you feel... but he needs some space."

Snape stared at the door, then at his friend, unsure if he should heed her advice. She grabbed his arm and steered him to the sofa "Get Marty. I will arrange for one of his godfathers to talk to him."

"Lupin is still rampant on the grounds and Black was with Dumbledore."

"The headmaster is back within the castle grounds. I will seek him out and arrange a floo call."

Snape nodded at her and before she left he said "Thanks, Minerva. I wouldn't have known..."

"Its quite alright, Severus.", she gave him an encouraging smile "We're all friends here."

That made him relax and summon the energy to contact Marty. To no one's surprise Marty was not available to talk in the middle of the night and so he waited for Black's ugly visage to pop into his grate.

"Snape.", he greeted soon after and Snape sneered.

"This is your chance, Black.", Severus said "Prove yourself. You have been appraised of the situation?"

"Yes, Sir.", Black said, not twitching a muscle to betray his mirth.

"Very funny!", Severus snapped "I'll get him, don't you dare mess this up!"

Black grumbled something but Severus was already at Harry's door and knocked.

"Harry? I couldn't get Marty, but Black wants to talk to you. I will go into my bedroom to give you privacy. Please inform me when you have finished your conversation."

With that he turned away and couldn't believe he was trusting Black to handle this. He must be as insane as the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Harry heard his father's message, then waited until he heard his bedroom door close; before he entered the empty living room.

"Sirius!", he said, kneeling in front of his face. Sirius smiled at him "You know what happened?"

"Yes, I heard.", Sirius said "I must say, I am proud of the stuck up little Slytherin."

"This is not a joke.", Harry scowled, he felt weird talking to a man who was his godfather but practically a complete stranger. And he had spent most of the year being terrified of him...

"No and I am being honest. I am proud of he way he handled it. Had it been me, Harry, I would have killed them without a second thought. When I caught up with Pettigrew that day, I wanted to do that. But I had to know why he betrayed them, that's how he got me."

"But that's not right!"

"Of course it isn't!", Black said forcefully "But when you feel guilty and sad and overall horrible for something, then you do stupid things. You do it because you wanted to protect that person and you failed. You are mad with yourself and let it out on them. Because that is exactly what they deserve. To suffer for what they did to you! You were an innocent child, left in their care, completely dependent on them. And they used you, abused you, hurt you. We love you, all of us and no one could prevent it. Can you imagine how useless that makes us feel? How disgusted we are with ourselves? How angry? You were helpless.

Leave us out of that equation for a second, would you treat a child like that? What would you do if you saw someone doing that to a baby? Would you not be angry, indignant? Would you not step in and try to safe it? Would you not want to see that person punished?" Harry had to admit, Sirius had a point "And now imagine, that is the child of your best friend. That is your nephew, your brother, your son, your friend... Anyone you love. Can you imagine how that must feel? Its not alright, he didn't do the politically correct thing. But he did what any real father would wish to do to the tormentors of his child and more! Snape restricted himself quite a lot, to be honest."

Harry looked troubled and unsure after Sirius' speech and Sirius left out the force in his voice when he continued

"Look kid. I know its hard. I know how it feels if you think you are not worthy of love. My family treated me like crap as well, because I wasn't what they wanted me to be. Until I met your dad and we founded the marauders... I felt like a useless piece of shit. Why would anyone care about me? It didn't matter if I lived or died. But then there was James and his parents, who were so wonderful and kind and welcoming. And I constantly wondered how they could care for me. I wanted to look behind my back and see if there was another Sirius standing there, that they were talking to. I know its hard to learn, but it wasn't your fault and you are worth our worry and anger and care."

Harry rubbed annoyed at his eyes and hiccuped, which made Sirius laugh.

"Its alright, kid. Go to your... to Snape. He looks like he needs a hug."

Harry laughed at that and simply said "Thanks."

Sirius nodded and vanished from the fire. Harry stood up on shaky legs and knocked on the door to his father's bedroom. He stuck his head in. His father was sitting on the bed, the frame he had given him on Christmas clutched between his hands, his shoulders and back hunched. He had raised his head at Harry's entry and looked at him with a fear that Harry knew all too well. Rejection. With just a few steps he had crossed the distance and wrapped his arms around his father's neck. Snape sighed and relaxed, putting the frame on his bedside table and pulling his son on his lap.

"Are you still angry?", he asked quietly.

"Yeah, a bit. But I'm more confused and disappointed."

Snape flinched at that.

"Why are you here then?"

"Because I need you and you need me. I'm not going away because of this. I wanted you to know."

Snape nodded silently and pressed Harry closer to himself.

"We're messed up, Dad."

"Language."

Harry laughed at that a little.

"I guess I understand why you did it. But I would have expected... I don't know. It felt so much like something a Death Eater would do..."

Snape shook his head "What kind of Death Eater would protect a child like that? They'd have to kill themselves first."

"Did you...? Back then, did you hurt people like that?", Harry whispered.

"I did not torture or kill people, no. I was the Dark Lord's Potions Master and spy. We all had our roles and I was not a foot soldier."

Harry felt a little reassured at that.

"But I will not deny that I witnessed horrible things and did nothing to prevent them."

"You couldn't have done anything, though.", Harry whispered back.

"No, in all fairness, I couldn't have. But I didn't even attempt it."

Harry leaned closer to his father and whispered "I know I shouldn't... but I want to be in my cupboard right now."

He heard his father gulp and felt him tighten his grip. There was no answer to that.

* * *

Harry was taking two steps at a time, running at top speed to the Defense classroom. He burst in without knocking to his uncle packing his belongings.

"You're really going? Why?!", he asked out of breath.

"Harry.", Lupin turned around and smiled softly at him "Dumbledore requested my notice. He wanted to give me a chance to keep my résumé clean."

"What? But why?"

"There was a... err...", Lupin struggled to find words to explain the situation, looking rather flustered.

"But uncle, you're the best DADA teacher there is. If you leave we'll have another crappy one like Lockhart.", Harry whined "And I want to be able to see you every day."

Lupin's expression softened considerably "I know, Harry. But now you have two godfathers. We'll write often and see you in Hogsmeade whenever we can, alright?"

Harry just wanted to answer, when another two students burst into the room, looking horrified. Harry had expected them to be Ron and Hermione but to his surprise they were Parvati and Lavender.

"Oh Professor! I'm so sorry.", Lavender said, looking miserable "If we had known... We thought..."

"This is so horrible! We didn't think... I'm so, so sorry, sir.", Parvati added, looking just as sorry as she said.

"What? What did you do?", Harry asked them. Lavender turned to him and said.

"Oh Harry! If we had known he's your uncle... We had heard that you had a bad living situation and we felt so bad for you..."

"Yeah, they said that's why you had had to change your guardians and we saw that your stuff was new and you were happy."

"And we wanted to look out for you, you know.", Lavender said, wringing her hands "And then it looked so suspicious... you and Professor Lupin."

"Oh god!", Harry spat disgusted "You thought...? You thought he was...? Merlin!"

"Yeah.", Parvati said in small voice "Lavender saw you hugging and there was other stuff... That's not something you do with a professor... Oh Harry, we're so sorry!"

"And then, what did you do?", Harry asked mortified

"Lavender's mum knows someone in the ministry and she wrote her. She has started the investigation..."

Lupin stopped her there "You wanted to protect Harry, I understand. Don't feel sorry, it was a misunderstanding. I wish you had talked to Harry first, but what's done is done. I got a formal letter from the ministry, stating that an investigation had started. I consulted Dumbledore and he said it was the end of the year and better to give in my notice than have this investigation ruin my reputation. He made that deal with them, you see. If I leave immediately they will not investigate."

"That's weird.", Harry said, thinking that this could easily be misused by someone who was not innocent.

"Indeed, but they trust Dumbledore and he said that he'd investigate himself and if there was anything wrong he would bring me in personally. Of course he knows about our relationship and was only placating them."

"But couldn't you say you are my godfather, then that would finish it off without you having to leave."

"No.", Lupin gave a sad smile "Even though your... guardian gracefully calls me your godfather, officially I am nothing but a friend of your late parents."

Harry looked so dejected at that, that Lavender and Parvati gave him a hug and said sorry again before leaving.

"I am glad your house mates keep an eye out for you.", Lupin said softly

"Yeah, great.", Harry said, plopping himself into the visitor's chair the next moment

"Harry, I want to make something clear. I would have resigned anyway.", Lupin said, sitting down himself "I turned into a werewolf, I forgot the potion. I endangered all the students and staff at this school. If it wasn't for Sirius... I cannot with good conscience stay here after I've done a mistake like that. And it would be only a matter of time until people realized what I was and started opposing my position here."

Harry looked up sadly at that and said "But you are the best. I want you here."

"I know, sweetie.", Lupin said smiling and Harry felt himself blushing at the affectionate title and wondered if he had ever been called something like that before. 'Pumpkin head' was the only thing that came close he realized and suddenly didn't resent the stupid name that much any more.

It had been weird with his father lately. He seemed to be on pins and needles around him and Harry couldn't bring himself to alleviate his worries. He didn't know how he felt. He didn't know how to forgive him for something he wasn't even sure he was angry about any more. Or maybe it wasn't so much anger but a sense of... He couldn't pinpoint it and that frustrated him. A frown graced his features that made Lupin prompt "Everything alright?"

Harry looked at him confused and then said "Uncle... About my dad... I mean Severus..." Remus smiled and nodded, he always needed to clarify that so Lupin understood which dad he was talking about right now "The way he avenged himself on the Dursleys... Or not himself, but me... I talked to Professor McGonagall and Sirius and even Marty. I understand a lot of it and I'm not angry any more... Still, I can't forgive him. What's wrong with me?"

He looked so desperate that Lupin leaned forward to close a bit of distance between them "Nothing is wrong with you Harry. It is always difficult to accept that the people we love are not perfect. Normally children grow up learning and seeing the faults of their parents. Even though they worship them at times and cannot listen to other people pointing out their flaws – they know their parents aren't perfect. You can see this phenomenon around siblings. When they talk about their parents they are quick to point out their flaws, because they feel safe in doing so. Their siblings love their parents as much as they do. You neither remember your real parents nor do you have siblings. Severus has been your saviour and you went through a phase of silent worship for him. You thought he could do no wrong and forgave him his past mistakes. But the deal with the Dursleys brought you back to earth quite forcibly. You share no blood with Severus and have not lived long enough with him to take on parts of his personality. So it is hard for you to understand how he feels, how he could do that – repeatedly. It is not something in your being to be vindictive and cruel. Severus has grown up that way, he never knew a lot of kindness. It seems alien to you and you fear that some day you will be the recipient of it. You fear that you made a mistake when you forgave him."

Harry's heart was beating fast at Lupins pronouncement. Yes! Yes, this was it. He had not been able to say so, even to himself. But had he made the wrong decision in choosing Severus? Should he – could he? – go back and change it? Did he want to?

"I am not going to sugar coat or lie to you, Harry.", Lupin said seriously "It is entirely possible that one day his dark side will take over and lash out to you" Harry shuddered "But I can promise you, that he will fight to reign it in, he will do anything in his power. He is good, because he fought to be good. Hurting you would be loosing that fight. He will not loose, he will try anything to win. You are his second chance at life and he has not known the kindness of a second chance. He will not waste it. He loves you. It is not my decision to make, but remember that he loves you."

Harry felt how dry his mouth was. Was this it? He had to decide. Again, it was on his shoulders – a thirteen year old – to decide about things that could affect the rest of his life. He hung his head. How in the world was he to make that decision?

"You have your mother's heart and your father's courage, Harry.", Remus said softly "You will do the right thing – whatever it is – I am sure."

* * *

Harry's feet were walking him down to the dungeons on his own and he found himself in the laboratory in front of Severus before he even realized it.

"Good. Take off the robe, up with those sleeves.", Snape said back to business when he saw him "The Draught of Living Death has the right fumes, you said? We will have to capture them and test..."

"Daddy."

Severus looked up sharply and stopped his motions. Harry never called him that, except there was imminent danger or emotional upheaval. "Harry?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

Severus let his arms drop to his sides in a defeated manner and nodded. He followed Harry into their living room and sat down. This felt surreal. Like he was the child and Harry the adult.

"I talked to uncle Remus.", Harry explained "And he said a lot of stuff and now I understand... you know, why I was so weird to you lately."

"The Dursleys. It's about them.", Severus said tersely and Harry nodded.

"I would never do that. When the moment of revenge comes... I know I can picture it all out. I know I can think of all the things I would love to do to them or see happen to them. But if you gave me the power and I was standing in front of them... I wouldn't do it."

"I know.", Severus said, hiding his face in his hands "You are too good, too..."

Harry interrupted him "But you did and I... I thought for a moment: What if you did something like that to me?"

Severus looked up and Harry saw how horrified he looked at that pronouncement. He opened his mouth, maybe to assure him he never would, and then closed it again. Harry's heart was beating hard again, he didn't know what to say, he did not have a decision.

"Can I...?", Severus started and Harry nodded, letting him take control of the conversation "I did what I did because I wanted to quench the hurt I felt for you. It is not your fault, you did not inspire this. It is the way I deal with a difficult situation, when I don't know what else to do. I am trying to change, Harry. But when it comes to you... you are too important to me. To see you hurt makes me forget all restraints. I am amazed that I could hold myself back as much as I did." Harry remembered Sirius saying something similar "But don't you remember, Harry? When I told you about my childhood, the way Tobias had treated me... You said you couldn't forgive him, that you did not want anything to have to do with him any more. I said then that it is hard to forgive crimes against oneself but near impossible to forgive those committed against people we cherish."

Harry looked up at this and something bloomed inside of him. Severus was right. He had not done that because the Dursleys had hurt him but because they had hurt his son, Harry. It felt inconceivable to him that anybody would feel this strongly for him. Marty had said something like that, as had McGonagall. But now he really understood it. He would forgive people for committing crimes against himself. But if those people would hurt anyone he loved – Hermione, Ron, Remus, Minerva, Severus – he didn't know if he could find it in himself to forgive them. Wouldn't he want to avenge them? If he was given the power, would he not want to hurt them the way they had hurt his loved one? Would he be able to stop and forgive? He doubted it, even though he could not be sure. But it answered his question. Severus would not turn his ire towards him. Even if Harry hurt himself, Severus would never hurt him. Suddenly he smiled and then he said casually "So, what about the Draught of Living Death?"

Severus smiled back and gave him a hand to stand up again. Somehow they had resolved this. Severus didn't feel quite sure that it was off the table. Harry did not understand what a war did to people, of course he couldn't. After his abusive childhood Severus had gone on to be a soldier in a war. He had lost everything in that war and closed himself off. Emotionally, he still felt as unsure and unstable as the young man he was when the first war ended. He had not matured after that. Then again, these last two years had changed him profoundly. He had matured then. It came back to Harry, it always came back to him.

* * *

Harry wondered shortly how strange they must look together. Ron with his new pet owl Pig, Hermione with Crookshanks and him with Ophion. They were sitting in the grass in front of the Black Lake and playing with their pets. Pig excitedly flew around their heads and Crookshanks tried to catch him playfully. Ophion, as always, was snuggled up on Harry's wrist and enjoying being stroked along his head and back by his master. Harry sometimes wondered who was the master between the two of them.

"Did Ophion find some friends then?", Hermione asked, keeping her eyes firmly on Crookshanks to prevent him from hurting the fluffy little owl Sirius had given Ron.

"He likes to talk to some of his kind but he seems to be a loner.", Harry said "Doesn't have any real close friends, other than me."

Hermione smiled "A bit like Professor Snape."

Harry looked up surprised "He has other people."

"Yeah, but not like you.", Hermione said

"Hmm.", Harry murmured and dropped his voice when he continued "But he doesn't have any other kids."

Hermione smiled softly "And he doesn't have any other family. He lost his father and you said his mother died when he was younger. He doesn't have siblings as well and you didn't meet anyone else during Christmas. No one else came to the burial of Tobias, did they?"

Now that Hermione had said it, Harry wondered about that. No, there had been no one from the Snape family. Severus had said he had no contact with the Prince family, even that he was the sole heir to their fortune. That had to mean there was no one else left to inherit. "He has McGonagall and Dumbledore. They're friends."

"But not family.", Hermione said "You're his family."

"Yeah, but if Remus and Sirius are my family and I am his family that makes them..."

"Nothing to Snape.", Ron said "Aunt Muriel is related to us but I wouldn't call her family if had a choice. Don't tell mum."

Harry and Hermione chuckled at that "What do you suggest then?"

Hermione shrugged "I was just observing."

Harry let himself fall into the grass behind him and stared into the sky "How about Professor Sinistra?"

Silenced followed that pronouncement.

"I think they like each other.", Harry continued "They'd make a good couple."

"Harry...", Hermione said, sounding uncomfortable

"No, no!", Harry said, frowning and staring hard into the sky "Its not like I want a mum or something. Its just, he has no one other than me, I want him to be happy. I think she would make him happy."

"Harry!", Ron said, sounding alarmed

"No, listen.", Harry said "She was really nice to him when Tobias died and she is beautiful and smart. They'd make a good couple. I bet she's strong too. All Hogwarts Professors seem strong. They would be good together, don't you think?"

Harry sat up at that to see their faces and froze. Now he realized what his friends had been trying to say.

"If you get the incredibly stupid idea into your head to play matchmaker, I will find the most disgusting, arduous chores I can imagine to keep your little pumpkin head occupied.", Snape hissed lowly, a frown perched on his features, looming down on him. Harry gave a sheepish smile.

"But Dad...!"

Snape suddenly spun around, checking the shadows around them and sent him a warning glare, Harry clasped his hands onto his mouth "I mean, Professor."

Severus rolled his eyes and motioned for him to stand up "You should not be lazing about anyway. Shouldn't you be preparing for end of year examinations? And I want your potions project finished before the exams start. You don't need that distraction."

Harry pouted and said goodbye to his friends, following his father. After a moment, they had just entered the dungeons, he said "When can I tell people?"

"Tell what?", Snape said, opening the door to his office and leading him in. Harry waited until the door was closed before he elaborated.

"That you are my father."

Snape gave a thin, sad smile at that "Not too soon, Harry. Pettigrew has gone to rejoin his master. If the prophecy is correct, he is working on coming back."

"But if he was with us all the time... Dad! He will tell him about you and me."

Severus shook his head "Probably he will, but I can turn this to our advantage. Say I am controlling you, trying to pull you to our side. He tried it that first time you encountered him."

"But in the chamber you fought him! Doesn't he know what happened then?"

Snape frowned "The headmaster assures me it was not his consciousness that was manifested in the chamber the way it had with the Philosopher's Stone. He will not know what happened then."

"How can he be sure?", Harry asked worried "What if he knows, what if he doesn't believe you? He will hurt you."

Suddenly that age old fear took hold of Harry again and he looked much younger, pleading with unseen forces to protect his home and family "Promise me."

Snape frowned "Promise you what?"

"You won't go back to him. If he comes back, you won't go to him.", Harry was pleading, begging him. He took hold of Severus robes and tried to shake him.

"Harry!", Severus said, shocked, holding his hands on top of Harry's but not prying them away "I cannot promise you that..."

"Please!", Harry said, pushing his head into Severus chest almost painfully "I can't loose you."

And Severus understood. He had felt this way so often. With his own mother, with Lily, with Harry. He wrapped his arms around the boy who had lost so much in his short life and rested his chin on Harry's head.

"That is something you and I have to understand, Harry. I feel like a hypocrite saying it, but I want to believe it is true.", Severus said quietly "Those who die, never leave us. As long as we love them, they are part of us."

He thought of Tobias and realized. Even if you didn't love them, people who had touched your soul were a part of you. Harry let out a little sob but didn't cry otherwise, his head still pressed against his father "I can't take it."

"You won't be alone. Albus will take care of you if something happens to me. And Minerva. Your godfathers will be there and your friends."

"But you won't!", Harry said and swallowed "I don't... I want..."

"I know.", Snape said simply "But don't worry. I am still very much alive and you won't get rid of me that easily. I survived one war already. Chances are high I will do it again."

That was a lie. And they both knew it. But it was soothing all the same.

* * *

Harry was crossing through sentences and rewriting them on the end a long parchment. He was working on the conclusion of his potions project paper with a Snape-like frown on his face. Snape glanced at him from time to time, amused by this. Harry finally let out a sigh and took out fresh parchment to copy his paper down again – this time cleaned up.

"You are finished revising?"

Harry looked up and nodded "Give it here then."

Harry obediently stood up, then gathered up his parchment and gave it to Severus. "I will look it over and you can rewrite it afterwards."

"OK, thanks.", Harry said, then hesitated before asking "Will you help me with preparing for exams, Papa?"

Snape smiled, satisfied with the way Harry had turned to him for help and was taking his studies seriously. Miss Granger seemed to have an effect on him.

"I will, but not tonight." Harry raised his eyebrows "Today we will have a little campfire."

"Campfire?" Harry laughed "Where?"

"We are invited at the Burrow. All adults in your life want to share the experience."

"What experience?"

Snape gestured for Harry to follow him into his room. Harry entered his room in their quarters. It looked like always.

"Accio Dudley's clothes.", Severus said and they zoomed out from different places, one shoe flying out underneath Harry's bed, a shirt hitting Harry in the back of his head, because it had come out of the laboratory. Snape peeled it off Harry's hair with a disgusted look "What was this doing in the lab?"

"I dried cauldrons with it."

Snape raised an amused eyebrow at that and threw it onto the pile of clothes in front of their feet.

"If you feel ready we would like to burn them.", he said calmly to Harry, who, to his own surprise, started grinning

"That sounds cool!"

Snape smirked at that "I imagine there will be some personal items in there. You can fish them out and burn them in the fire before we floo."

Harry dived into the pile, picking out underwear to burn before they left. Snape left him to it and later on flooed with him to the Burrow. Harry was hugged by Molly, Remus and Sirius in welcome and they all lead him outside. Minerva and Albus were sitting on folding chairs, talking contently and drinking from heavy tumblers. They looked up and greeted him warmly as the others began assembling chairs around their fire. Snape levitated the old cast-offs to them, distributing a small pile in front of everyone.

"Marty said it could be cleansing to get rid of these and... talk a bit.", he said and sat down.

"Talk about what?", Harry said and looked around

"I will start, my boy.", Dumbledore said and picked up a rather hideous sock with holes large enough to stick two fingers though "A bit of soul baring in front of fellow warriors."

He threw the sock in which went up into flames with a satisfying sizzle "I did not know the extent of their negligence and abuse, Harry. If I had, you would not have stayed there."

Harry blinked and opened his mouth slightly. His father put a hand on his and shook his head. McGonagall was next. She fished the matching sock out of her pile and threw it in "I had thought they were the worst kind of Muggles. But I did nothing to prevent their guardianship and I didn't check on you."

Sirius, Remus, the Weasleys and Severus followed with their regrets and one piece of clothing. Harry felt touched at their courage to speak up and say they had been wrong. That they were sorry. It felt good. It was his turn and he swallowed. He didn't know what to say. They all kept saying it wasn't his fault but he could remember a thousand occasions when he could have stood up for himself and told someone. He had kept quiet. But Marty had explained that was normal behavior for abused children. He looked at them and then settled for a different approach. He picked up a jumper that was so large, he could fit in three times. As he threw it in the fire he said to Severus

"When you hugged me that first time after asking me if they abused me and I declined... Even then I felt like I was home. I had never felt so good in my life, so... content. Thank you."

Snape opened his mouth, wonder written in his eyes, that sparked strangely in the fire light. Harry picked up a trouser he had had to fold up several times to make it fit his height "Uncle Remus, when we spent those few days together in the summer it felt like I had gotten a piece of my father back. You were always like a shadow of James, like he left something for me to remember him by."

Like this he took turns, telling them all what they had given him and how he appreciated it. The pile of clothes was soon reduced and then diminished. The fire was dancing merrily and they had started chatting to each other in quiet tones. Harry was staring into the fire, content and comfortable, the low voices lulling him to sleep. He felt someone put a blanket around him and tuck it in. He slowly opened his eyes to see Sirius smiling down at him. "Sleep.", he ordered softly and slid his hand from Harry's messy hair down over his face, effectively closing his eyes. Harry sighed quietly, he was safe.

* * *

When Harry flew that weekend it felt like the sweetest broom ride of his life. Below him in the stands Severus was sitting, flanked by the Gryffindor Head of House and the former Defense teacher, who had brought a curious black dog with him. In the Gryffindor stands he could make out his friends – one head with flaming red hair, the other wild brown locks. He felt complete when swishing through the air, searching for the Golden Snitch. He spotted Cho following him with her eyes rather than the game and grinned. It was a good day. He dived and made a bit of a show on his firebolt, earning cheers from the crowd. Malfoy on the opposing team looked ready to puke with jealousy. Harry grinned at him and said "All that gold you have Malfoy and you cannot even find a little flying piece?"

"Well, I have no need for it. Other than you!", Malfoy retorted angrily.

"Tell me, who is sitting on the world class broom?", Harry asked.

"Oh Potter, don't be so smug.", Malfoy answered, suddenly grinning himself "That you've gone up from rags to that" he nodded at Harry's jeans peaking out from underneath his flying robes "Doesn't mean anything. And don't think we don't know where its coming from, you little-"

But Malfoy didn't finish his sentence as he had to drop suddenly and follow Harry, who was speeding insanely fast to the ground. He closed his fingers around the Snitch and made a mad upturn, almost colliding with the grass. He slowly rose upwards, holding the fluttering ball high above his head.

"Gryffindor wins! Gryffindor wins the match and the Quidditch Cup!", Lee Jordon screamed at the top of his lungs, barely managing to be heard above the deafening cheers of his house mates. Hermione and Ron were hugging and jumping up and down. His team mates collided with him in a mid air hug, Oliver crying with joy. Harry saw, in between the arms surrounding and squeezing him, that Severus was shaking Minerva's hand, who had leaned close and was whispering something in his ear, making his lips twitch. Harry was brought back to the ground, other Gryffindors rushing onto the field, hugging him. Finally his friends turned up, taking their turn, Hermione even kissing his nose. He grinned at all of them, accepting their thanks and congratulations, looking happily on as Katie and the other chasers tried to calm down Oliver. It was Professor McGonagall, firmly patting his back a few times, that made him look up with an almost crazy grin. He couldn't have looked happier if he had gotten 12 NEWTs.

Harry glanced up at the staff stand again and his eyebrows rose to his hairline as Professor Sinistra had made her way to Severus and was talking to him. She was smiling faintly and he was looking not quite so severe. They were holding hands in a forgotten handshake while she said something to him. Finally, she let go and left, Snape turning to him, which made Harry think they had been talking about him, and roll his eyes at the look he received from his son. Anything seemed possible now, Harry thought and grinned up at the staff stands. His godfathers were staying at a place called Grimmauldplace and had already invited him to visit over the summer. He'd go to the Weasleys as well. But most he was looking forward to a summer with his dad. Who cared about Pettigrew and Voldemort, when this summer was all his?

* * *

Harry yawned and stretched while walking into the kitchen at Spinners End.

"Fourteen years old and still no manners.", Severus said, not taking his eyes off the paper he was reading, Harry grinned and plopped down in front of him "What do you plan on doing today?"

"Well, we're all invited at the Weasleys.", Harry said "You are coming, right?"

Snape looked up from his paper and frowned at him "You want me to come?"

"Of course!", Harry said, frowning back

"Well, then it seems I have no choice in the matter."

Harry smiled at that and bit into his waffle, letting out a satisfied moan at the taste. Snape raised an eyebrow at that and muttered "No manners at all!"

Harry grinned with his mouth full of waffles and chewed, lost in thought. He rubbed at his scar distractedly, imagining what he wanted to do today at the Weasleys.

"Is your scar bothering you?"

"Huh?", Harry asked, coming out of his reverie "Oh, yeah it has been twinging lately."

Snape frowned at him again, but this time it was because he was thoughtful and worried "When?"

"Mostly in the mornings.", Harry said and shrugged "Does it mean anything?"

"I do not know.", Snape admitted and let his eyes fall back onto the paper, the frown staying in place. He seemed to decide that now was not the time to discuss the matter and Harry was glad. He did not want this to ruin his birthday. He was going be with his family, with Severus, Remus, Sirius, the Weasleys and Hermione... "Do you mind?"

Harry looked up startled "What?"

"I will send you on to the Weasleys and come in a little later.", Snape repeated.

"Err... That's alright, I guess. But where are you going?"

Severus seemed to turn the page a little too casually as he said "I have something to do in Hogwarts."

"What?", Harry asked curiously and watched his father's shoulders tense.

"A colleague needs a consultation. There is a joint project we want to pursue."

Harry blinked "Professor Sprout? What project?"

"No, not Sprout. But it is about ingredients and their harvesting time.", Severus said and Harry frowned. Snape was making quite the show of not naming this mysterious colleague and suddenly Harry grinned widely.

"You're talking about Aurora... I mean, Professor Sinistra."

Snape frowned at the paper, not looking up "Yes."

Silence followed and Snape looked up, too curious not to check Harry's expression "Stop that infernal grinning! Its for science."

"Of course it is!", Harry laughed, glad to be able to tease Snape about something. He hadn't heard the end of it about Cho since they were back and was quite excited to give back as good as he had gotten "Pouring over the lunar charts in the middle of the night together... under the stars. I bet it will be all professional."

"Oh do grow up!", Snape snapped and Harry noticed that he was strictly avoiding Harry's eyes.

"And I don't mind if you come in later. Not at all.", Harry grinned again and then said "Actually you can invite her to the Burrow... Oh no! No, that wouldn't be romantic at all. How about you spend the day with her, I don't mind. What are you going to wear anyway?"

At that Snape balled up a tissue and threw it at Harry, smiling a bit when he hit him on the nose. Harry just laughed and couldn't help but notice later that Snape had taken great care in choosing his clothing.

* * *

Harry had had a great birthday and to his surprise his father had spent his day with Sinistra. He felt a little hurt at that but pushed it away. He had suggested it after all! He was laying in bed now, under the sheets in Ron's bedroom. Ron had been called out to help clean up and left grumbling. Someone knocked at the door and Harry wondered who that would be. No one knocked at the Weasleys, maybe it was Hermione. "Yes?"

His father came in and Harry smiled at him. Harry saw him look at his duffel bag at the foot of his bed and frown slightly. Harry imagined he had seen his food box there. Harry still didn't feel comfortable leaving for the night without provisions. He sat down on Harry's bed and said

"I am sorry Harry. I hadn't wanted to stay away all day. It did take long with Aurora but it was another reason that I was detained." He fished something out of his robes and held out two tickets to Harry, Harry took them and let out a shriek of surprise "Happy birthday, Harry."

"The Quidditch World Cup! Oh my god, Dad, you're the best!", Harry exclaimed, looking at the tickets with reverence "They are really good too"

“The Weasleys got the same tickets and I wanted you to share the experience with them. As it is the whole Weasley Clan as well as Miss Granger will go to the World Cup with you.”

"We will all go?", Harry asked excitedly "That's awesome, Dad."

Snape smiled "It took a bit of time to get them on this short notice, that's why I couldn't come earlier, pumpkin head."

Harry smiled at the tickets and felt quite generous now "Did you have fun with Aurora?"

Snape frowned and said "We made a plan of how to proceed with the project, if that's what you mean."

"No, I mean 'Did you have fun?'"

Snape shook his head, stroking Harry's hair out of his eyes "Nothing has changed, Harry. The only serious commitment I have is you and I plan to leave it that way."

"But why?", Harry whined

"You don't know what you're asking, child.", Snape whispered "Do you really want to share me with someone? You don't know yet how people in love behave. She would take up a lot of my time, attention and emotions."

"You don't have to marry her immediately", Harry said wisely "You can just date."

"Harry...", Snape warned "I told you, I am no one for easy relationships. Either it is serious or nothing at all. I am serious with you, you need me more than you think. And I want to be here for you now. You will grow up fast. Soon you will not be like this..."

He left his sentence unfinished, still stroking Harry's hair fondly. Harry blinked at him "This...?"

"You're fourteen now and you will want girls to do this to you instead of your old dad."

Harry flushed red at the thought of Cho sitting close and stroking his hair like that. "Dad!"

Snape chuckled and said "I want to enjoy it while it lasts. Aurora has been here for years and she will be in years to come. She or someone else. But there will be no going back to this."

Harry looked at Snape, trying to understand him. He leaned into the hand. Yeah, he was fourteen now. But as long as there was no one else there, he enjoyed being close to Severus and getting all this attention. And the caresses, too, he could admit to himself. Of course some day he would probably stop wanting his father to show affection like this. But to his own shame he did not think that would be too soon, even though he did like the thought of Cho doing that too. But that was different. Snape tapped his head playfully "No shame in that."

Harry blinked, how did he know what Harry was thinking? Was he that easy to read?

"The Dursleys were negligent in more than one aspect. Its alright to take as much of it as you want."

Harry shrugged, not wanting to talk about them. He glanced at the door before he sat up and hugged his father "Thanks for the tickets, Papa. Love you."

Severus wrapped his arms around him and hugged him closely "I never thought I'd have a son." He kissed the crown of his head "I love you too."

"Aww! I love you too!"

They broke apart and Harry threw a cushion at Ron, who was doubling over laughing at their identical shocked expressions. When Ron hugged the cushion and grinned, Harry grinned back. Ron wasn't the most sensitive of his friends but he understood him. Sometimes he was even incredibly insightful. He was just teasing Harry, because he was happy for him. For now he had what they had had all along. A parent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished!
> 
> Oh My God! Did it come to you as a shock as well? It did to me. But really, there's not much left to say about year three, is there? So, how did you like it? Could you understand how Harry felt and how it resolved itself for him. I really wanted to show his whole support network (of adults). I think in canon and a lot of fanfictions Harry relies too strongly on children like him. A quote from Minerva from DH always comes to mind, when she said "We teachers know a lot of magic, you know?" It was supposed to be a joke but it kind off brings back the question "Where are all the adults in HP?" So that was important to me in this last chapter. Love is haven - and there is more than one boat in a haven :)
> 
> Now the returning question of: Will there be sequel? I must confess that this story with these characters has been so easy to write, it flows so naturally, I do want to keep writing it. But I think I must concentrate on other projects as well. So I think there will be a Sequel but it will not be posted immediately. Instead of that I will post "Love is a dream" which will be a compilation of scenes that were not described in detail in the two main stories. There will be Ophions dream about eating Pettigrew and the visit to the graves (I written these two already) for example. You can even request moments/scenes you had wished to see, that didn't happen. In the author's notes of that story I will also announce when I post a sequel in this series. As the name of these stories is "Love is..." I would like to have some suggestions of you guys what I should name the next segment. I will try to explore other kinds of love than parent/child. I have laid down the groundwork for a romantic relationship in the end of this story. But also the love between other family members, siblings, uncle/nephew and friends could be interesting. Of course we all know that book four leads to the second war, as that it is its pretty dark. I have laid down a few pieces for Severus' role in the war as well, just in case I really keep writing through all HP years.
> 
> And another exciting thing has happened: Love is a charm is being translated into Spanish:
> 
> fanfiction DOT net/s/10725498/1/El-Amor-es-un-Encanto-TRADUCCIÓN
> 
> Thanks a lot for that to ElizabethMKJP, check it out if you understand Spanish and leave her a comment as encouragement!
> 
> Another little request for you guys: If there is anyone artistic here it would amazing if you could make a banner. I am working on the audiobook idea for "love is a charm" (audiobook on youtube, me reading the story). So it would be cool to have a nice little picture to put the audio on top. You don't have to draw something, I would be very happy if you made one with the actors or something like that. PM me if you attempt it please, would love to talk about it. If I get several I will use them all (one chapter will have one video, so I can use several)
> 
> Thanks to all of you for sticking to the story, you people are great and I love you!
> 
> Edited 13.10.2014 - I changed a sentence a bit to make clear that Severus will not accompany Harry to the world cup


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